More open mics, but even more football chatter. MD goes solo on this one, where I try out some new boo-worthy material, and why us miserable Jets fans should be rooting for Sam Darnold in the Super Bowel.

Quick hits (which is what I will be referring to the random topics that come about in future show notes, so you only get this explanation once): becoming a runner to sustain your drug habits, viewing dead friends on close friends' stories, making a band social media before making any music, and walking away from the casino when you're up.

Yes, this is the episode with the audio of my sad return to stand-up! Monthly Matt Caracciolo joins the show and we hit topics such as the Michael Jordan murdered father conspiracy, men arguing, pre-Kaepernick Newark Bears lore, baseball peanut etiquette, the first hawk tuah mention in 2026, the overlooked Kurt Cobain + Stu Pickles correlation, and all things OPEN MIC! We get raw, we get righteous, yet we remain real.

Bar Mitzvah Madden tournaments, welfare fraud rap sheet, honeymoon kool-aid, weezy takes on Caleb's nail polish, Bush the band, old head DIY, 12 dollars an hour, Greg Jennings, and a quick browse of the feed during the Verizon SOS. Plus, a little sneak peak of my first time performing at an open mic in over a decade... oh it's all downhill from here.

New year same dread. Dry January is cancelled, AI cover letters read by AI recruiters, your first pixelated bra pic, Logan Morrison, the Monday of all Mondays, Peter Dante, grab a conspiracy friend and assemble your whack pack. Are you...in?

Numba twoooo ~ retellings of a sleep injury, Winn Butler the basketball all star, freshmen year black eye, fantasy football for fifth graders, selling Cyberpunk on Facebook Marketplace, sports hot mics, not taking the mislabeled perc, Madden '99 hail mary, and small victories.

Not totally a grunge podcast, and not one mention of pilots, or even 9/11! Find the idiot. Is this bad?