What if the thing holding us back in life isn’t that we’re moving too slowly—but that our steps are too big?

Most of us feel pressure to cover ground; Fix it fast, Get there now, Make decisions quickly, Move on to what’s next. But what if speed isn’t the issue at all?

Years ago, my wife and I followed through on something we’d talked about for over twenty years—taking dance lessons. I instinctively felt the need to move around the dance floor and cover ground. The problem was my wife couldn’t match those steps and follow my lead. All I kept hearing from the instructor was: “Take smaller steps.” The smaller the steps, the smoother the dance became.

Then I began to realized—this wasn’t just about dancing. That phrase kept showing up everywhere. I saw it the very next weekend doing acre’s worth of springtime edging, weeding, transplanting and mowing. As I started early and at a feverish pace to get it all done in one weekend, my wife looked at me and said, “take smaller steps”. She knew that at my desired pace I would be wiped out in six hours and need three days to recover; where with a “smaller steps” attitude I would cover more ground (pun intended). Big steps burn us out before the job is done.

When I was a defensive back coach in football and taught backpedaling, I stress smaller, quicker steps. It keeps the player’s feet underneath them allowing the player to react quicker to changes in the receiver’s route as well as tackle better. On rainy days, it helps prevent a player from slipping. Smaller Steps – Feet underneath us – adapt to changing conditions. So, it is not about the pace of change or movement, but the size of each piece of change or movement. Think about it, smaller steps give us more balance and control. We are less likely to get out of whack.

When we take big steps, we overcommit, miss details, lose balance, get Blindsided by life’s uncontrollable events, Struggle to recover from mistakes.

The solution isn’t to slow life down completely. A former boss once told me, “Go slow to go fast” – strategic speed as opposed to operational speed. This thought process ties into form over speed. I learned that hiking the Appalachian Trail with my daughter Beth in Maryland. We came upon a hard rock scramble—gray area between hiking and rock climbing. She coached me with three words: “Form over speed.” With a weighted pack, one rushed move could mean a fall and pain. I needed to be taking smaller steps and be more aware of my form – strategic speed not operational speed.

Taking Smaller steps means paying attention to the little things. Little things can make a significant difference. We often have more input and choice over how we handle the small things in life. Throw a tiny pebble into a pond and the entire pond surface will have ripples of waves across it. A horse with a bit can plow a field; a ship with a rudder can sail across an ocean; a person with an empathetic tongue can share kindness, compassion and love.

It is important to appreciate life’s little things- a smile, a hug, a song bird chirping, the sunrise or sunset. It is also important to do the little things- say hello to someone we pass in the office or on campus; hold the door open for a person walking in behind us; a compliment for no reason.

People like to define moments in faith with big leaps, movements or stepping out of one’s comfort zone. Maybe for some of us it is as simple as staying in the moment right where we are. We typically don’t hear people say, “Hunker down and see what God has in store for us.” However, God has begun a great work in us, right where we were; we just don’t recognize it.

Small steps aren’t weak steps. They are disciplined, intentional, faithful steps. They create roots. Take smaller steps. Build deeper roots. Trust that God handles the distance. Rejoice and Godspeed.

A question for self-reflection is - “Who’s Walking With Us?” After a not-so-great encounter with law enforcement when I was a sophomore in High School, my father informed me of his concerns about my questionable talent recognition in friends and acquaintances. He used the expression, "You are measured by the company you keep." That incident changed my trajectory. I’d been running with the wrong crowd. Not because I was looking for trouble—but because I let it just happen. Because whether we realize it or not, we don’t walk through life alone—and the people we walk with quietly shape where we end up.

We need to “Choose Company That Nourishes.” The word company comes from the Latin companion “one who eats bread with you.” Not someone who just shares space—but someone who shares life. Most of us don’t intentionally choose bad company. We drift into it. We sit with whoever’s nearby. We walk with whoever’s available. We spend time with people because it’s convenient—not because it’s life-giving. Culture tells us friends are interchangeable. Social media calls everyone a “friend.” But the truth is, not everyone deserves access to our life.

All of us need to build a success circle— this is not networking, not collecting contacts, not adding contacts to our social media platforms - but keeping good company with: Mentors, Advisors, Confidants, Friends who sharpen us.

Don’t keep company with anyone who’s not going where you aspire to go. Never make someone a priority when you are only an option for them. Keep company only with people who uplift you, whose presence calls forth your best.

Some of the most powerful relationships in our lives are what Geoffrey Greif calls “rust friends”—people who’ve known us a long, long time. There’s something about being with people who know where we’ve been—not just where we are today. People who can look at our life and say, “I remember when…” Old friends are guardians of our story.

Back in the early 1970’s when Bruce Springsteen was about to rocket to stardom and national attention with the release of his third album, Born to Run, he asked the E-Street Band to commit to being all-in for all-of-it and with all-of-us. It would be easy to be all-in for being on-stage, for the fame and for the money. He needed them to be all-in for the grind of a road tour, the hours of practice, the set-ups and tear downs. He also needed them to be all-in for each other and not for just themselves.

This is also true in Families. Easy being a dad when your daughter scores 20 points in a basketball game, but you need to be there, all-in, when she slams a door in your face and screams “I hate you” for reasons you can’t figure out. Everyone is all-in on their wedding day, but how about when money is tight or a spouse gets a serious illness or when your Mother-in-law moves in. As well as business. Being successful means doing all-of-it; the mundane and drudgery work required to qualify opportunities, prepare quotations, review excel spreadsheets.

Ancient philosophers and contemporary scientists agree that one of the keys to happiness is strong relationships with other people. We need to be able to confide; to feel that we belong; to be able to get support, and just as important for happiness, to give support. Meaningful friendships bring joy and fulfillment. When we invest in others without any specific motive or the expectation of immediate returns, we experience the satisfaction of making a positive impact on someone else's life.

Let’s make wise decisions around the people with whom we invest our precious resource of time. Keep company with friends and family that support our dreams and nourish us along our journey. Who we are is an outcome of the company we keep.

Every year, the phrase, “Peace on Earth, good will toward men” shows up again and again on Christmas cards, banners, and in songs. Tt comes straight from Luke’s Gospel where the angels announce the birth of Jesus to shepherds in a dark field. But here’s the honest question, were the angels wrong?

Why does the world still feel so loud? So divided? So anxious? We’ve got more technology than ever; more wealth than ever; and more comfort than most humans in history. And yet, peace feels scarce.

When we hear “peace on earth,” we usually think big picture. No more wars; no more injustice; no more political division; and no more unrest. It’s the classic answer — “I want world peace.” The hard truth is: we are unlikely to see global peace. Why? Because by nature, we’re at war. Not just with each other, but with ourselves. And instead of addressing it from that point of view, we try shortcuts. We turn to pharmacology to numb it. Or technology to distract ourselves from it. But peace doesn’t come from escaping today’s world or discomfort. If your peace depends on everything going right, that’s not peace - that’s control.

We keep looking for peace where it cannot live. Peace is not the absence of chaos. Peace is the presence of something deeper. Peace can exist in noise and chaos. Martin Luther King Jr. said, “True peace is not merely the absence of tension; it is the presence of justice.” The sun rises to displace darkness. Yet it doesn’t happen in an instant like throwing a light switch. It rises slowly. And darkness retreats. Infusing our world with peace is a similar process. Too many of us want to be able to just flip the switch.

Jesus knew what was coming - betrayal, suffering, death - and yet still said: “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give it to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled or afraid.” The Hebrew word He used, shalom, means more than calm. It means wholeness, restoration, and being put back together.

Peace isn’t something you wish for. Robert Fulghum said it best: “Peace is something you make, something you do, something you are, something you give away.” We cannot give what we do not have. We cannot bring peace to the world if we ourselves are not peaceful. We cannot ‘do’ peace unless we are ‘at peace’. Take time to find peace, it is something we all long for, but rarely take the time and effort to obtain and grant.

Preparation is monumental. They say that “Proper preparation prevents poor performance.” Whether it is a sporting event, the workweek, or something as simple as weekend yardwork or household chores, we will not perform at a high level if we don’t go in prepared. The ratio of time that go into preparation as opposed to performance is staggering.

Think about landing a plane under emergency circumstances in the Hudson River. Years of preparation for minutes of action. Think about high school football where the next season starts immediately after the previous season with months of effort is invested for two hours on a Friday night. Think about Jesus. Jesus spent his youth studying the scriptures of the Old Testament; then during his ministry he spent hours in prayer and 40 days in the wilderness all in preparation for his calling.

The season between Thanksgiving and Christmas is Advent, the purpose of this season is preparation. It is a period of spiritual preparation for the birth of our Lord, Jesus Christ. It is also preparing for Christ’s return. Advent is a season of prayer, fasting, and repentance, followed by anticipation and joy. The word advent comes from the Latin term adventus meaning "coming," particularly the coming of something having great importance. Advent is asking us to create that favorable environment for Jesus to enter and operate in our lives as well as remove distraction so we can hear Him.

We hear about the overnight sensations that come out of nowhere. Reality is, that rarely happens. There are years of work, practice, patience, growth, and persistence that define preparation. An overnight success that takes years to occur is about preparation. Ray Kroc of McDonalds fame said, “I was an overnight success all right, but 30 years is a long, long night.” Starbucks had been in business for decades before it leapt onto the national scene.

Louis Pasteur, a French microbiologist and chemist who is best known for discovering pasteurization, fermentation, and vaccination said it best, “Chance favors the prepared mind." The better prepared and more knowledgeable we are, the more likely we are to take advantage of any chance opportunities or observations. A mindset of preparedness starts with continuous learning and curiosity. A great example is Alexander Fleming; he saw a bit of mold in one of his bacteria-laden petri dishes. He noticed that all around the mold there were no bacteria. He could have shrugged it off or worse, blamed the mold for contaminating his petri dishes. However, as he stated in his Nobel Speech in 1945: “... that penicillin started as a chance observation. My only merit is that I did not neglect the observation.”

Our position at the very moment action starts can be critical, it matters. The instant it takes to lean forward or get in an athletic position could be the difference between success and failure in a fast-paced environment. A lot of life happens in the blink of an eye. These stances are also called ‘ready positions,’ the starting points for life’s movements and the ability to change direction or adapt. They require discipline and they must be intentional as they just don’t happen naturally.

As Christian soldiers and competitors, we need to lean forward in our foxholes and be in an athletic position. Be ready to act on God's plan. Leaning forward is being prepared in our heart to share time, talent, and treasure as needed. It a very appropriate command for each of us as we live our daily lives. Lean forward and be prepared to engage apathy, injustice, hopelessness, hostility, envy, or whatever is challenging our spiritual walk. Lean forward and live our lives in readiness. An outcome of this readiness is peace and with peace, comes joy

Preparation is significant. We cannot just wing it and risk performing poorly. Something having great importance is coming.

We’ve been taught since we were old enough to talk, the importance of saying “thank you.” We teach our children from the time they could put a crayon to paper, the importance of a thank you note. There are times when saying or writing “thanks”, although important, isn’t enough. Being thankful by “doing” thanks is needed and essential. Let thanks be always on our lips and, more importantly, in our deeds. Being thankful by doing thanks is the best way of giving thanks.

We can say thanks to those who help us, and we can also pay it forward by helping others. If we have good health, we can use that health to help someone who has failing health. If we are good with children, we can offer to babysit for a frazzled parent or coach a youth sports team. If we are blessed with a little extra time, we can welcome home our returning military at the airport and thank them for their service. If we have a good education, we can tutor a struggling student. If we have life experiences that we learned the hard way, we can share those experiences with others to help them on their paths.

Are we looking for blessings to come into our life or are we looking to be a blessing in someone else's life? Nelson Mandela noted: “What counts in life is not the mere fact that we have lived. It is what difference we have made to the lives of others that will determine the significance of the life we lead.” The concept of ‘Pay it Forward’ embodies the principle - be a blessing. It is responding to a person's kindness by being kind to someone else. Paying it forward and being blessings are forms of doing thanks. We control the choice to be a blessing to those we meet and be someone else's aide, support, encouragement, luck or godsend. CS Lewis said, “Next to the Blessed Sacrament itself, your neighbor is the holiest object presented to your senses.” Remember the question is not “who is my neighbor?” but “who can I be neighbor to?”

Doing Thanks and Being a Blessing can be as simple as showing Gratitude. Gratitude is not a feeling or an act; it needs to be a virtue and an attitude. It is a thankfulness for what we “have” as opposed to looking at what we “don’t have?” God gave us what we need to live the life He has in mind for us. Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough. It can turn chaos into order, confusion into clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.

Giving thanks is not only good, polite and a thoughtful gesture; giving thanks is necessary. We begin Mass by saying “It is right and just” to give God thanks. The priest continues by saying: “It is our duty and salvation always and everywhere to give you thanks.” Our duty and our salvation! We proclaim this every week, but do we mean it?

Gratitude is a driving force for a life of service. Let me serve God by serving others; let me give what I have received. If we are thankful for what God has given us and for the blessings in our lives, we leave behind being wantful and become powerful.

Let’s not allow Thanksgiving to be a once-a-year event but rather the beginning or refreshing of a daily ritual to be aware of who God made us to be and His gifts we were given. Thanksgiving is intentional, not accidental. Establish a deliberate set of thoughts and actions to recognize our gifts. He gave us our gifts to be used inside of His unique plan for our lives. Start recognizing the gifts we have been given and the meaning for them. Maybe to us it’s not a glamorous job, but to Him it is everything. This season of Thanksgiving is an appropriate time to reflect on our lives as people of faith, and ask ourselves, “What are the ways in which we can be thankful?” Not only by giving and saying thanks, but in living out what we believe as Christians.

Are we more about “what we do” than “who we are”? The world likes to define who we are by what we do and accomplish, which is totally backwards. What we do should flow from who we are. While Doing and Being are related, it is the order they come in that is critical. If we define ourselves by what we have done (achievements, accomplishments) then we place our value (self-worth) in the hands of others. Consider defining our self-worth as a being made in God’s image.

The Parable of the Pharisee and the Tax Collector found in Chapter 18 of Luke’s gospel, clearly shows the link between doing and being. The Pharisee was all about what he did – tithing, fasting while the Tax Collector knew his being – he was a sinner in need of God’s mercy. There is also the story of Martha and Mary, again found in Luke’s Gospel. Martha is all about doing – all the acts of hospitality. While Mary is simply about being at the feet of Jesus. Jesus notes that Mary chose the better part. While Doing and Being are related, it is the order they come in that is critical. In this instance there was more value in being present with Jesus than a focus on doing.

This struggle between being and doing starts early and is often innocently encouraged. Schools focus on preparing us for our life’s work, our doing, not what we could become. We inspire their dreams which are all great dreams, but they are all related to doing and accomplishments, not being. We ask our children what they want to do when they grow up - be a veterinarian, banker, professional athlete, etc. Although we may phrase it as “what do you want to be” we are asking for the title of what the doing is based on. Those dreams tell us nothing about who our children are, or want to be, inside.

In Paul’s letter to the Galatians (5:22-23) he talks about the fruit of the Spirit - “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.” When do we ever embrace or applaud these inner qualities of others? They don’t seem to fit within the world of competitive sports or business.

Being well is an evaluation against our true north or purpose, not necessarily scoring the merits of our actions. Doing good and being well must work hand in hand. In sports, Lance Armstrong and Barry Bonds were driven to do great things, yet their actions were less than ethical. Businesses want to be well through investing in social impact, sustainability, and philanthropy. They would fund a thousand buzzwordy programs rather than fundamentally alter their own behavior.

What you and I do feeds what we become. The focus moves from doing to being. Here is where our doing feeds our being. Community is not an option we choose to participate in, like a club or group, it is not a DOING. Community is a fundamental aspect of our being. One of the great joys in life is being part of a community.

One of the tragedies of Alzheimer is that it not only strips away what we are capable of doing but ultimately impacts our being. It is not the loss of doing that creates sadness as age and other infirmities can do that too. It is the loss of being that makes this illness despicable.

It will be our being and not our doing that matters most. Being versus doing; distinguishing between them and their order will make all the difference in the lives we live. We also need to go the additional step and take time to know the ‘beings’ around us and not just focus on what they do. Let’s answer His call, let’s leave a legacy and BE a difference in His Kingdom.

Rejoice and Godspeed.

Ordinary things, days, events, people, etc., without something noteworthy tied to them will fade from memory and become part of the blur. What can’t be remembered is forgotten. What is forgotten never gets deposited into our memory banks. What doesn’t get deposited is that which does not strike a chord.

Extraordinary things are another story. There is no generic definition of extraordinary, noteworthy or ‘big’ does not guarantee something being memorable. But one thing is for certain – to qualify it must strike a chord. Anything that strikes a chord will be remembered longer than usual. If it really strikes a chord, it can remember it forever. It is striking a chord that creates the legacy.

My analogy of leaving a legacy is like the wake behind a boat. The wake that is left behind a boat exists because of the water being moved by the boat, actually the term is displaced. The wake (i.e. legacy) is there as a result of the boat (i.e. event, ourselves) moving or displacing the water around it (i.e. others). Consider the wake left behind an aircraft carrier – a lot of displacement occurs behind the huge ship which creates a huge wake and a significant trail. We all have people in our lives who are like an aircraft carrier and leave a longer lasting legacy.

It is important to note that success is not the standard for leaving a legacy; significance is. Success is when results exceed expectations, but who sets those expectations (others – coaches, bosses, Wall Street, etc.) and often uncontrollable factors significantly influence results as well as performance. Success is wonderful but significance is even better. As individuals we were created and put here to make a difference, contribute and leave a mark on the people around us, and move His kingdom forward. We are not defined by someone else’s scorecard.

The ‘coin of mattering’ is the currency that values how we have existed and spent time on earth. Mattering is investing in what we profess to care about, what we love, and what we value. It is the essence of what it means to be human, the true purpose and reason for what we do. It is an investment of time, energy, attention, and passion in relationships; all components of a life well lived. The capacity to dream, wonder, imagine, create, build, transform, better, and love. It is a responsibility to live a life that matters. Not just for the sake of our own self-gratification, but for the enduring obligation of fulfilling the privilege of life and serving those around us.

The greatest asset on the mattering ledger is love; one person caring for another. Thomas Merton said, “Love is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone - we find it with another.” Knowing this and living it are not the same. To matter, it cannot be a mere passing idyllic infatuation or fascination, but must be an enduring, intense passion. A life that matters can demand a lot. Breakthrough after heartache, accomplishment and jubilation over the anguish, a more difficult journey with a truer north.

We have been given the opportunity to love and serve those around us and to do it with excellence for His glory. We have been given the means and opportunity to matter. It means everything to have loved in our humanity through God’s grace. Our legacy is not how many footprints we leave. It's how long they last.

"If you squeeze a tube of toothpaste, what comes out?” Many times, I stood in front of high school and college students and asked that very question. After some quizzical looks, I hear mumbled answers, “toothpaste.” I next ask “Why?” “Because you squeezed the tube and that is what was put there in the first place.”

This is one of my better character lessons. Goes back to high school. It has stickiness because of Its imagery. It is all about preparation.

When you find yourself in a pressure-packed situation and life squeezes you, what will come out? Whatever you have put in. If you have prepared properly, you will see positive results. If you have put in faith, character, morals, principles; then when you get squeezed, good decisions will come out. A wrong choice made in the heat of the moment is a result of lack of preparation, lack of conditioning or lack of putting quality toothpaste in the tube.

On January 15, 2009, US Airways Flight 1549 suffered a bird strike immediately after takeoff that annihilated both engines requiring an emergency landing on the Hudson River in New York City. Captain Chelsey “Sully” Sullenberger expertly piloted the plane to a safe landing saving all 155 people on board. He was quoted, “I’ve been making small, regular deposits in this bank of experience, education, and training. And on January 15 the balance was sufficient so that I could make a very large withdrawal.” He had been putting toothpaste in the tube all those years.

Armies at the time of King David had 3 kinds of warriors - cavalry on horseback; infantry with swords and spears; and what we would today call artillery: archers and ‘slingers.’ Slingers had a leather pouch attached on two sides by a long strand of rope. They would put a rock or lead ball into the pouch, swing it around in increasingly wider and faster circles, and then release one end of the rope, hurling the rock. In the Old Testament (Judges 20:16), slingers are described as accurate within a hair’s breadth. An experienced slinger could kill or seriously injure a target up to two hundred yards away. While protecting the sheep, David as a shepherd boy perfected his skills by practicing day after day. When his moment came against Goliath he had plenty of toothpaste in his tube.

Putting toothpaste in the tube is a form of intentional mental conditioning. Just like running and lifting is intentional physical conditioning, you can condition yourself in this area. The more you practice the better you become. However, the opposite also holds true. If you allow your mind to relax too much and get lazy and not take ownership, then it becomes more commonplace to just go through life letting circumstances control you, whether you recognize this lack of control or not. If we don’t, what fills the void can be the negative influences of today’s world.

We need to prepare to meet any challenge. Be putting the right toothpaste in the tube. Be able to step up and answer your ‘Goliath call.’ Make enough daily deposits to cover an unexpected withdrawal.

Our moral alignment reflects what we have internalized, what we have decided is our core essence, what are our values and principles, what we have put in our tube.

Let’s answer His call and be a neighbor to those in need, let’s leave a legacy and make a difference in His Kingdom.

Rejoice and Godspeed.