What if the thing holding us back in life isn’t that we’re moving too slowly—but that our steps are too big?

Most of us feel pressure to cover ground; Fix it fast, Get there now, Make decisions quickly, Move on to what’s next. But what if speed isn’t the issue at all?

Years ago, my wife and I followed through on something we’d talked about for over twenty years—taking dance lessons. I instinctively felt the need to move around the dance floor and cover ground. The problem was my wife couldn’t match those steps and follow my lead. All I kept hearing from the instructor was: “Take smaller steps.” The smaller the steps, the smoother the dance became.

Then I began to realized—this wasn’t just about dancing. That phrase kept showing up everywhere. I saw it the very next weekend doing acre’s worth of springtime edging, weeding, transplanting and mowing. As I started early and at a feverish pace to get it all done in one weekend, my wife looked at me and said, “take smaller steps”. She knew that at my desired pace I would be wiped out in six hours and need three days to recover; where with a “smaller steps” attitude I would cover more ground (pun intended). Big steps burn us out before the job is done.

When I was a defensive back coach in football and taught backpedaling, I stress smaller, quicker steps. It keeps the player’s feet underneath them allowing the player to react quicker to changes in the receiver’s route as well as tackle better. On rainy days, it helps prevent a player from slipping. Smaller Steps – Feet underneath us – adapt to changing conditions. So, it is not about the pace of change or movement, but the size of each piece of change or movement. Think about it, smaller steps give us more balance and control. We are less likely to get out of whack.

When we take big steps, we overcommit, miss details, lose balance, get Blindsided by life’s uncontrollable events, Struggle to recover from mistakes.

The solution isn’t to slow life down completely. A former boss once told me, “Go slow to go fast” – strategic speed as opposed to operational speed. This thought process ties into form over speed. I learned that hiking the Appalachian Trail with my daughter Beth in Maryland. We came upon a hard rock scramble—gray area between hiking and rock climbing. She coached me with three words: “Form over speed.” With a weighted pack, one rushed move could mean a fall and pain. I needed to be taking smaller steps and be more aware of my form – strategic speed not operational speed.

Taking Smaller steps means paying attention to the little things. Little things can make a significant difference. We often have more input and choice over how we handle the small things in life. Throw a tiny pebble into a pond and the entire pond surface will have ripples of waves across it. A horse with a bit can plow a field; a ship with a rudder can sail across an ocean; a person with an empathetic tongue can share kindness, compassion and love.

It is important to appreciate life’s little things- a smile, a hug, a song bird chirping, the sunrise or sunset. It is also important to do the little things- say hello to someone we pass in the office or on campus; hold the door open for a person walking in behind us; a compliment for no reason.

People like to define moments in faith with big leaps, movements or stepping out of one’s comfort zone. Maybe for some of us it is as simple as staying in the moment right where we are. We typically don’t hear people say, “Hunker down and see what God has in store for us.” However, God has begun a great work in us, right where we were; we just don’t recognize it.

Small steps aren’t weak steps. They are disciplined, intentional, faithful steps. They create roots. Take smaller steps. Build deeper roots. Trust that God handles the distance. Rejoice and Godspeed.

A question for self-reflection is - “Who’s Walking With Us?” After a not-so-great encounter with law enforcement when I was a sophomore in High School, my father informed me of his concerns about my questionable talent recognition in friends and acquaintances. He used the expression, "You are measured by the company you keep." That incident changed my trajectory. I’d been running with the wrong crowd. Not because I was looking for trouble—but because I let it just happen. Because whether we realize it or not, we don’t walk through life alone—and the people we walk with quietly shape where we end up.

We need to “Choose Company That Nourishes.” The word company comes from the Latin companion “one who eats bread with you.” Not someone who just shares space—but someone who shares life. Most of us don’t intentionally choose bad company. We drift into it. We sit with whoever’s nearby. We walk with whoever’s available. We spend time with people because it’s convenient—not because it’s life-giving. Culture tells us friends are interchangeable. Social media calls everyone a “friend.” But the truth is, not everyone deserves access to our life.

All of us need to build a success circle— this is not networking, not collecting contacts, not adding contacts to our social media platforms - but keeping good company with: Mentors, Advisors, Confidants, Friends who sharpen us.

Don’t keep company with anyone who’s not going where you aspire to go. Never make someone a priority when you are only an option for them. Keep company only with people who uplift you, whose presence calls forth your best.

Some of the most powerful relationships in our lives are what Geoffrey Greif calls “rust friends”—people who’ve known us a long, long time. There’s something about being with people who know where we’ve been—not just where we are today. People who can look at our life and say, “I remember when…” Old friends are guardians of our story.

Back in the early 1970’s when Bruce Springsteen was about to rocket to stardom and national attention with the release of his third album, Born to Run, he asked the E-Street Band to commit to being all-in for all-of-it and with all-of-us. It would be easy to be all-in for being on-stage, for the fame and for the money. He needed them to be all-in for the grind of a road tour, the hours of practice, the set-ups and tear downs. He also needed them to be all-in for each other and not for just themselves.

This is also true in Families. Easy being a dad when your daughter scores 20 points in a basketball game, but you need to be there, all-in, when she slams a door in your face and screams “I hate you” for reasons you can’t figure out. Everyone is all-in on their wedding day, but how about when money is tight or a spouse gets a serious illness or when your Mother-in-law moves in. As well as business. Being successful means doing all-of-it; the mundane and drudgery work required to qualify opportunities, prepare quotations, review excel spreadsheets.

Ancient philosophers and contemporary scientists agree that one of the keys to happiness is strong relationships with other people. We need to be able to confide; to feel that we belong; to be able to get support, and just as important for happiness, to give support. Meaningful friendships bring joy and fulfillment. When we invest in others without any specific motive or the expectation of immediate returns, we experience the satisfaction of making a positive impact on someone else's life.

Let’s make wise decisions around the people with whom we invest our precious resource of time. Keep company with friends and family that support our dreams and nourish us along our journey. Who we are is an outcome of the company we keep.

Every year, the phrase, “Peace on Earth, good will toward men” shows up again and again on Christmas cards, banners, and in songs. Tt comes straight from Luke’s Gospel where the angels announce the birth of Jesus to shepherds in a dark field. But here’s the honest question, were the angels wrong?

Why does the world still feel so loud? So divided? So anxious? We’ve got more technology than ever; more wealth than ever; and more comfort than most humans in history. And yet, peace feels scarce.

When we hear “peace on earth,” we usually think big picture. No more wars; no more injustice; no more political division; and no more unrest. It’s the classic answer — “I want world peace.” The hard truth is: we are unlikely to see global peace. Why? Because by nature, we’re at war. Not just with each other, but with ourselves. And instead of addressing it from that point of view, we try shortcuts. We turn to pharmacology to numb it. Or technology to distract ourselves from it. But peace doesn’t come from escaping today’s world or discomfort. If your peace depends on everything going right, that’s not peace - that’s control.

We keep looking for peace where it cannot live. Peace is not the absence of chaos. Peace is the presence of something deeper. Peace can exist in noise and chaos. Martin Luther King Jr. said, “True peace is not merely the absence of tension; it is the presence of justice.” The sun rises to displace darkness. Yet it doesn’t happen in an instant like throwing a light switch. It rises slowly. And darkness retreats. Infusing our world with peace is a similar process. Too many of us want to be able to just flip the switch.

Jesus knew what was coming - betrayal, suffering, death - and yet still said: “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give it to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled or afraid.” The Hebrew word He used, shalom, means more than calm. It means wholeness, restoration, and being put back together.

Peace isn’t something you wish for. Robert Fulghum said it best: “Peace is something you make, something you do, something you are, something you give away.” We cannot give what we do not have. We cannot bring peace to the world if we ourselves are not peaceful. We cannot ‘do’ peace unless we are ‘at peace’. Take time to find peace, it is something we all long for, but rarely take the time and effort to obtain and grant.