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  • 82: Building Emotional and Relational Capacity

    82: Building Emotional and Relational Capacity
    Jan 15 2026
    Many men believe that once the behavior stops, recovery should feel resolved. But what happens when sobriety doesn’t lead to closeness, safety, or repair?In this episode Luke introduces Phase Two recovery and explains why emotional maturity isn’t about calm behavior or compliance — it’s about capacity.You’ll learn:Why sobriety removes behavior but not the internal system behind itHow emotional underdevelopment shows up after acting out stopsWhat emotional, relational, and nervous system capacity actually meanWhy effort alone doesn’t register as safety for betrayed partnersChapters03:34 Understanding Emotional Maturity06:38 Defining Emotional Capacity09:31 Sobriety and Emotional Development13:46 Invitation to Phase Two WorkWatch the episode on YouTube ⁠HERERegister Now!🦋Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica - Ready to experience deep somatic healing? Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey. https://www.chooserecoveryservices.com/rise-renew-restore-retreat/✨Courage to Thrive - This intensive brings together expert trauma specialists in the serene Utah mountains for a transformative experience that goes beyond healing—it's about getting your power back. Join other courageous women March 17th-20th, and leave with proven strategies, unshakeable boundaries, and renewed hope…because your story doesn't end with betrayal—it transforms into something powerful. https://www.chooserecoveryservices.com/courage-to-thrive-betrayal-trauma-intensive/ ❤️‍🩹Help Her Heal Men’s Intensive - This immersive intensive is designed specifically for men to learn how to support their partners as they heal from betrayal trauma. You will participate in experiential workshops, receive personalized feedback, and learn practical tools to develop the emotional capacity needed for relationship repair. Join us April 14th-17th in Spanish Fork, UT. https://www.chooserecoveryservices.com/help-her-heal-intensive/💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. https://www.chooserecoveryservices.com/intensive-scholarship/Connect With Us:Learn more about Luke here. Schedule a complimentary consultation here.Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. Learn more and register for courses at http://chooserecoveryservices.com
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    17 Min.
  • 81: Stepping Back to Move Forward

    81: Stepping Back to Move Forward
    Jan 8 2026

    What happens when you’ve done everything right in recovery — and something still feels unresolved?

    In this deeply honest episode, Luke shares why he’s stepping away from Choose Recovery Services for a season — not because of relapse, but because healing sometimes requires going deeper than insight, willpower, or knowledge.

    Joined by Alana Gordon, this conversation explores:

    • Why recovery isn’t linear

    • The fear of “what if it doesn’t work?”

    • Somatic healing and trauma stored in the body

    • Differentiation between partners in long-term recovery

    • Why stepping back can actually be an act of leadership

    If you’re a betrayed partner wondering if real healing is possible — or someone in recovery who feels stuck despite “doing the work” — this episode offers honesty, hope, and permission to keep going.

    Chapters

    • 00:26 Announcement From Luke

    • 03:19 Luke’s Decision to Step Away

    • 04:59 Alana’s Perspective on Healing

    • 07:22 The Importance of Somatic Healing

    • 10:01 Challenges and Realizations in Recovery

    • 23:02 Trust and Autonomy in Relationships

    • 33:18 Future Plans

    Watch the episode on YouTube ⁠HERE

    Register Now!

    • Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica: Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey. Spots are limited so register early!

    Connect With Us:

    • Learn more about Luke here.

    • Schedule a complimentary consultation here.

    • Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air!

    • Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services

    Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

    • Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.

    • Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.

    Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

    • Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.

    • Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal.

    • Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

    • Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma.
      Learn more and register for courses at http://chooserecoveryservices.com
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    37 Min.
  • 80: Micro Risks: The Small Choices That Quietly Change Everything

    80: Micro Risks: The Small Choices That Quietly Change Everything
    Dec 18 2025
    Most people don’t stay stuck because they don’t want to change — they stay stuck because familiar pain feels safer than uncertain freedom.In this episode, Luke explores why the nervous system chooses predictability over healing, especially for men in recovery from compulsive sexual behavior. Even when sobriety is solid and effort is high, trust often remains stalled — not because of lack of care, but because initiative requires risk.You’ll learn:Why trust doesn’t grow through crisis or big gesturesWhat “micro risks” are — and why they actually retrain the brainHow honesty builds safety when it’s voluntary, early, and consistentThe neuroscience behind effort, avoidance, and integrityThis episode is essential for anyone navigating betrayal trauma, relational repair, or long-term recovery.Chapters01:41 Challenges in Building Trust02:50 Defining Micro Risks04:02 Examples of Micro Risks06:08 Micro Risks vs. Big Gestures07:25 The Role of the Nervous System11:34 Micro Risks in Relationships14:26 The Anterior Cingulate CortexWatch the episode on YouTube ⁠HERERegister Now!Season of Support - Join us for our LAST WEEK of a 4-week webinar series designed specifically for couples who want to stay connected, emotionally regulated, and intentional during the holidays — rather than simply surviving them. December 1, 8, 15, 22. Register to receive the Zoom link.Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica: Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey. Spots are limited so register early!Connect With Us:Learn more about Luke here. Schedule a complimentary consultation here.Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. Learn more and register for courses at http://chooserecoveryservices.com
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    21 Min.
  • 79: Healing From Betrayal Trauma: One Couple's Story of Safety, Stability, and Grieving Together

    79: Healing From Betrayal Trauma: One Couple's Story of Safety, Stability, and Grieving Together
    Dec 11 2025
    What does real healing look like after betrayal?This week Chance and Crystal join Luke for an honest conversation about boundaries, nervous system healing, resentment, parts work, and rebuilding safety after years of secrecy.Learn how Phase One stabilizes the relationship and how Phase Two transforms grief into connection.Perfect for individuals and couples seeking guidance, clarity, and hope.Chapters01:24 Meet Chance and Crystal02:07 Chance and Crystal’s Personal Story07:01 The Importance of Self-Care and Boundaries21:12 Navigating Resentment24:05 Establishing Boundaries and Creating Safety27:21 Safety and Stability28:18 Grieving Together31:56 Navigating Shared Grief and Vulnerability38:18 The Importance of Individual HealingWatch the episode on YouTube ⁠HERE.Register Now!Season of Support - Join us for a 4-week webinar series designed specifically for couples who want to stay connected, emotionally regulated, and intentional during the holidays — rather than simply surviving them. December 1, 8, 15, 22. Register to receive the Zoom link.Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica: Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey. Spots are limited so register early!Connect With Us:Learn more about Luke here. Schedule a complimentary consultation here.Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. Learn more and register for courses at http://chooserecoveryservices.com
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    48 Min.
  • 78: Two Realities: When Truth, Trauma, and Denial Collide

    78: Two Realities: When Truth, Trauma, and Denial Collide
    Dec 4 2025
    Why don’t you and your partner agree on “what really happened”? In early recovery, trauma, shame, and denial collide — creating two completely different versions of reality that both feel true.Luke explains: • Trauma logic & worst-case thinking • Denial fog & fragmented memory • Why accuracy evolves in recovery • How to validate without agreeing • The 3-part integrity check that rebuilds trustTune in for a grounded, compassionate episode for couples healing from betrayal.Chapters01:51 Understanding the Betrayed Partner’s Reality03:16 Exploring the Betraying Partner’s Reality05:30 Navigating Conflicting Realities06:32 Redefining Accuracy in Early Recovery12:33 Integrity Checks and Empathic Validation17:03 Season of Support Webinar Register Now!Season of Support - Join us for a 4-week webinar series designed specifically for couples who want to stay connected, emotionally regulated, and intentional during the holidays — rather than simply surviving them. December 1, 8, 15, 22. Register to receive the Zoom link.Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica: Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey. Spots are limited so register early!Revive and Thrive Somatic Intensive for Women - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Experience gentle release through expert-guided breathwork, brainspotting, energy healing, and nature immersion as you reclaim your body. Intensive is Jan 27-30, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. Connect With Us:Learn more about Luke here. Schedule a complimentary consultation here.Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com
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    20 Min.
  • 77: The Betrayal Bind with Michelle Mays: Healing the Attachment Wound After Infidelity

    77: The Betrayal Bind with Michelle Mays: Healing the Attachment Wound After Infidelity
    Nov 13 2025
    How do you recover when the person you love has betrayed you? Author Michelle Mays (LPC, CSAT-S) joins Luke Gordon to explore The Betrayal Bind — the painful paradox of needing the very person who hurt you. Discover how attachment theory, betrayal trauma, and nervous system science explain what happens after infidelity and how both partners can rebuild trust.Topics include:The three wounds of betrayal: emotional, attachment, and sexualWhy “attachment ambivalence” feels like chaosHow betrayed and betraying partners can reconnect safelyConnect with Michelle:Braving Hope Coaching ProgramRelational RecoveryFacebookBook: The Betrayal Bind💡 Brought to you by Choose Recovery Services — guiding individuals and couples through betrayal trauma recovery.Chapters01:18 Introducing Michelle Mays04:48 The Betrayal Bind07:06 Attachment and Betrayal11:30 Navigating Safe Relationships13:30 Wounds From Betrayal18:04 Sexual Injuries and Recovery21:31 Attachment Ambivalence 28:02 Attunement and Responsiveness 32:08 Building Trust Through ConsistencyWatch the episode on YouTube ⁠HERE⁠Register Now!Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica: Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey. Spots are limited so register early!Revive and Thrive Somatic Intensive for Women - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Experience gentle release through expert-guided breathwork, brainspotting, energy healing, and nature immersion as you reclaim your body. Intensive is Jan 27-30, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. Connect With Us:Learn more about Luke here. Schedule a complimentary consultation here.Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com
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    39 Min.
  • 76: Feeling Defensive? The Four-Step Shift That Rebuilds Trust and Connection

    76: Feeling Defensive? The Four-Step Shift That Rebuilds Trust and Connection
    Nov 6 2025
    Ever notice how defensiveness shows up even when your intentions are good?In this episode, Luke Gordon reveals why defensiveness is a biological protection strategy — not a moral failure — and how to shift it into connection.You’ll learn:Why your nervous system reacts before you doHow empathy changes the way truth landsThe four-step shift: Pause, Name, Acknowledge, RespondHow to rebuild emotional safety after conflict💡 “Truth lands differently when empathy comes first.”Discover tools for healing and communication at ChooseRecoveryServices.comChapters00:00 – “You’re being defensive!” — why it stings01:50 - Understanding defensiveness03:46 - The answering trap06:14 Recognizing the signals07:42 Tools for shifting from defensiveness to connection10:15 Practice and TakeawaysWatch the episode on YouTube ⁠HERE⁠Register Now!Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica: Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey. Spots are limited so register early!Connect With Us:Learn more about Luke here. Schedule a complimentary consultation here.Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com
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    12 Min.
  • 75: The Moment Recovery Becomes Real - with Isy Williams

    75: The Moment Recovery Becomes Real - with Isy Williams
    Oct 30 2025
    Ready to move beyond “checking the boxes” in recovery? In this powerful conversation, Luke Gordon and Isy Williams, coaches with Choose Recovery Services, explore the turning point when betrayal trauma recovery and sexual addiction recovery shift from something you do to something you live. Through personal stories and hard-won wisdom, they share how emotional healing, integrity, and authentic connection create lasting transformation—and why embracing discomfort is the key to real change.What You'll Learn:The difference between halfway commitment and full immersion in recoveryWhy ownership matters more than compliance or perfectionismHow embracing discomfort leads to authentic transformationLearn more about Isy and book a complimentary session here. Watch the episode on YouTube ⁠HERE⁠Connect With Us:Learn more about Luke here. Schedule a complimentary consultation here.Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com
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    36 Min.