I am the world's biggest dating failure. We're talking my last date went home with our waitress kind of failure. But I have an ace in the back pocket of my mom jeans - my sexy-as-sin best friend, NHL superstar forward, Justin Cruise. Justin owes me favors dating back to seventh grade, long before he became a hotshot with a world famous...stick. So in return for my undying platonic loyalty, all I want is an easy-peasy crash course on how to be a sex goddess.

I didn't mean to star in a sex tape, okay? It was just one of those unexplainable things. Like Stonehenge, Police Academy 2, and morning glory clouds. It just happened. Now, my ball-busting father is sentencing me to six months of celibacy, sobriety, and morbid boredom under the roof of Boston's nerdiest girl alive, Sailor Brennan. The virginal archer is supposed to babysit my ass while I learn to take my place in Royal Pipelines, my family's oil company. Little does she know, that's not the only pipe I'll be laying....

Looking up into Alexi Petrov’s dark eyes as I break the news, I’m scared out of my mind. This man is the most terrifying defender in the NHL, and if it weren't for my sporty new baby bump, I probably wouldn't believe we hooked up that night. (Yes, I’ve sworn off margaritas for life.) But the Alexi who goes to my doctor appointments, moves me into his guesthouse, and cooks me so many gourmet meals I look like I'm carrying twins? He isn’t scary at all.

Bree Marks is my best friend and my secret crush. And cursed with a deadly allergy to erecto-plasm. As in, she’ll seriously swell up and die if seminal fluid even touches her. Which means finding the perfect guy to punch her V card is literally a matter of life and death. She wants a no-strings summer fling, but she needs someone she can trust. A puck buddy who isn’t going to get overly emotional. That’s where I come in. It’s a simple request, really - and one I would be happy to honor. If it weren’t for the whole life-and-death thing.

My resignation letter was rejected by my boss with his sexy, trademark smirk and an "I highly suggest you read the fine print of your contract...." So, I did. And now I've realized that unless I fake my death, poison him, or find a way to renegotiate my impossible contract, I'm stuck working under one of the cockiest and most ruthless bosses in New York. Then again, I thought that was the case until he called me late last night with an emergency proposition....