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Nine Essential Conversations Before You Say I Do

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In his popular book, 9 Essential Conversations before You Say I Do, author and pastor Gary Thomas, marriage and family therapist Dr. Steve Wilke and Rebecca Wilke, EdD help couples explore:

  • What marriage means to each individual and whether this is a wise match
  • How to engage in essential relational pursuits such as healthy conflict, sexual intimacy, and spiritual intimacy
  • How to discuss in advance crucial aspects of marriage such as childrearing, finances, and marital roles
  • Why asking hard questions now is better than asking them five years from now

With thoughtful questions that encourage couples to examine themselves and their relationships, 9 Essential Conversations before You Say I Do will help couples thrive not only in the early months of their marriage but also in the years to come.

Includes Guides and Questions.

©2013, 2021 Gary Thomas, Steve Wilke, and Rebecca Wilke (P)2025 David C Cook
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"Gary Thomas debunks the mythical search for a soul mate to help you choose a 'sole-mate'—someone who will lay down their life in faithful love. This biblically based book is for anyone who wants to be wise in their pursuit of a spouse." (Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott)

"Filled with questions to make you think and teaching that will bring 'aha' moments, this book is a must read for everyone considering marriage. I highly recommend it to you—I wish I'd had it when I was single!" (Linda Dillow)
"Gary Thomas dismantles contemporary philosophies on love, sexuality, and marital union by offering strong arguments for why they have not been successful. His appeal to a kingdom-first perspective gives both hope and healing for a generation in desperate need of a fresh and Christ-centered understanding of God's plan for marriage. This book is a must-read before anyone says 'I do.'" (Michelle Anthony)
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