I Am Not Achilles
A Memoir
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Emil Sands
'Not only one of the most exciting voices in art today - but writing, too' Katy Hessel, author of The Story of Art Without Men
Traversing art history, tangled bedclothes, gym bros and soul mates, I Am Not Achilles is an engrossing tale of a body that refuses to fit.
After an accident at birth, Emil Sands was left with a form of cerebral palsy affecting half of his body. While surgeons worked to correct his physique, Emil strove to conceal his weaknesses, learning early that this was easier for everyone. He passed for normal. Though what he heard from others was ‘normal, considering’. He longed for more.
An encounter with a Greek sculpture, the Doryforos, offered Emil a mirror in the most unlikely of body types. The Classical statue was lauded as physical perfection, but the 2,500-year-old stone athlete bore an uncanny similarity to Emil’s own mismatched body. The statue stood with all its weight on one leg, the other drawn back, its toes lightly brushing the ground. Emil recognised this stance – it was one he had crafted to mask the imbalance of his legs. In that moment, a connection with the art of the ancient world was forged, and with it, a fascination with the body – what it can do, what it should do. Emil had gained access to a world of beauty which, outside the museum, remained closed.
A tender exploration of muscle, marble, and masculinity, I Am Not Achilles explores the relationship between beauty and shame and ultimately asks what it means to be different.