Brightness Falls isn't just the name of the TV show that womanizing man-child Andrew Ware has been painstakingly creating for the last couple years, it's also his hometown. A town that he loves as much as he hates.

By request of no one, Andrew returns home to help his sister separate from her husband, only to become sidetracked by a beautiful woman. A few drinks and few compliments later the woman is dead, killed in a tragic oral sex accident. In which Andrew would have lost his own life if it weren’t for the dapperly dressed, antler-headed, human skeleton named Doug. Who loves Andrew’s work, but escaped The Other Side to warn Andrew of a self-proclaimed god with desires to return to Brightness Falls.

Wow, that is a lot to take in. That above paragraph is jammed packed with a lot of crap. Thou the oral sex accident sounds interesting, doesn't it? Let's take the whole thing down a notch. Let's try it again, please...

With the town’s annual festival, Brightfest, which commemorates the deadly day it's population collectively walked to the bottom of the lake, only days away, and the threat of an inadvertently bloodthirsty, self-proclaimed god returning to reenact the event, Andrew is sent scrambling to save his sister, friends, lovers, and the town he’s loathed in, before the god is able to complete his predestined experiment to bringing his wife back. If Andrew can get out of his own way to unravel the towns dark secrets, as well as his own, maybe he’ll come out of it with a new TV show idea. Oh and save the town.

Well f--k, that wasn't much better. Still, a lot going on in that paragraph, too. Here let me try...

This is the story of a man who loves women, hates his home town, and has to goes through a shit tone of shit for both of them. Oh and someone dies during oral sex, can't leave that out.

Boom nailed it! Best book description ever - Your Mom