Contains books one and two of the Attempted Vampirism series.

Attempted Vampirism, book one

It’s not easy being a vampire - just ask Jonathan. As the 32nd lord of Bloodhaven, Jonathan is a vampire noble. Alas, he’s a noble in name only. Forget gold, diamonds, and bountiful estates. All he has to his name are one cozy - some would say dilapidated - castle and a reputation as a fine scholar specializing in ancient lore. Of course, given the horrible ends both his father and grandfather met in pursuit of fame and fortune, it’s probably for the best that he enjoys the quiet life. Sadly, his quiet life is about to meet a horrible end of its own.

Think tax collectors are bad? How about...vampire tax collectors? After a run-in with the Blood Alliance Department of Taxation leaves Jonathan with nothing, he needs a lot of money, and he needs it now. But at least he can rely on his faithful servants for help, right? Wrong. The only servant he’s got left is his old but faithful butler, Miles. To get his castle and his stuff back, Jonathan and Miles have to take some risks, but the gods aren’t going to make it easy for them. After all, these are the same gods who took at least three tries to get the world mostly right, and they have some wonderful surprises up their sleeve.

Attempted Adventuring, book two

A vampire noble’s work is never done - just ask Jonathan. With the help of his faithful servant Miles, their first mission was rather more dangerous than he’d like.

Of course, one mission won’t be enough, and there’s nothing scarier than vampire tax collectors.

If Jonathan wants to get his castle back, he’ll have to go on more missions. Tougher missions. Scarier missions. Missions that make him question the sanity of dwarf architecture. And their newest mission is a doozy. But if he and the others can survive sea monsters, ancient evils, and an unlikely pair of allies, they might just strike it rich. One way or another, Jonathan is getting his castle back.