There are two sentences that can ruin a perfectly normal evening – “We need to talk”, and its evil twin, “We need to talk about money.” Even if your relationship is good, that phrasing makes it feel like somebody’s about to get graded.

Even when things are fine, nobody wants to be the person who turns a decent Tuesday night into a full relationship audit. So this week, we’re introducing a better way: small doors. These are quick, low-stakes, real-life openings that normalize money talk without turning it into a whole thing.

And the best part is, they’re not just for couples. Small doors can be used with parents, siblings, friends, or any relationship where money differences create distance

We get into:

• Why “we need to talk about money” is basically a panic alarm for most people, even if they’re in good relationships
• The difference between avoiding conflict and avoiding judgment, weirdness, and role shifts
• Why money conversations work better as appetizers than a full-day “financial summit”
• What “small doors” actually look like in real life (aka: our kid’s expensive cherry habit 😭)
• How tiny, specific moments create safer openings than “we need a budget”
• The 3 rules for small doors
• How to treat your partner’s first reaction as data, not a personal attack
• What to do when the issue isn’t the money, it’s the pattern of how you talk about money
• Why tone is basically the WiFi of the conversation
• Why you should practice the repair as much as the conversation

Links to helpful past episodes:

• Episode 222 - Why we don't share everything (and what we do instead)
• Episode 207 - 3 practical tips for couples living on one income

Connect with Julien and Kiersten on our website, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube.

Join our email list to get updates from us, opportunities for discounts, freebies and a quick rundown on the relevant financial and career news impacting your life.

Get our book Cashing Out: Win the Wealth Game by Walking Away, named 2023 best overall book about investing by Business Insider and one of the best personal finance books by Forbes

If you would like to learn more about investing, check out our newest class, Making Money Grow

This week we’re talking to Rahkim Sabree, author, financial trauma educator, and the person who basically put “financial trauma” on the map for a lot of the internet. His work connects money behaviors to nervous system responses, family systems, and broader cultural and structural realities. His book, Overcoming Financial Trauma, and his whole approach are research-heavy, emotionally honest, and built to last.

Julien starts this conversation by admitting something most people don’t say out loud. He shares that he delayed inviting Rahkim on the podcast because the conversation would’ve forced him to confront his own financial trauma, and he wasn’t ready to "perform" his way through it.

From there, this episode goes deeper than “money mindset” and way past generic financial literacy. If you’ve ever felt anxious about money without a clear reason… or noticed your stress spikes around the 1st and the 15th… this one will feel uncomfortably specific, in a good way.

We talk about:

• Why “financial trauma” is everywhere right now and how the term gets misused
• The awkward truth about why healing your money story can feel like disrespecting your parents
• The money anxiety you normalize until somebody else hears it
• Rahkim’s house fire and how the “tools” we rely on (education, planning, discipline) don’t always deploy when life is on fire
• Why money often represents power, freedom, and safety - and how safety shows up after loss
• Vicarious financial trauma and how you can “catch” money anxiety from what you grew up around
• How we’re socialized to treat “have-nots” and how that drives status, spending, and fear
• Physical tells of financial trauma and why the better question is: where do you feel money in your body?

Links:

• Get Rahkim’s book, Overcoming Financial Trauma
• Learn more about his work on Rahkim’s website, Instagram, and LinkedIn page
• Subscribe to Rahkim’s newsletter on Substack
• Follow Rahkim’s writing on Forbes

Connect with Julien and Kiersten on our website, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube.

Join our email list to get updates from us, opportunities for discounts, freebies and a quick rundown on the relevant financial and career news impacting your life.

Get our book Cashing Out: Win the Wealth Game by Walking Away, named 2023 best overall book about investing by Business Insider and one of the best personal finance books by Forbes

If you would like to learn more about investing, check out our newest class, Making Money Grow

Life is life-ing. Prices are up, surprise expenses are regular, and your “simple” money goal keeps turning into a weekly argument with yourself (or your partner).
In this episode, we talk about why so many people are either going full finance drill sergeant in 2026, or avoiding goals completely.

We break down what financial discipline actually looks like when your life changes mid-month, and how to build goals that bend instead of break so you can keep moving forward without the mental drama of “I have to be extra strict this week” every week.

We cover:

• Why discipline doesn’t transfer cleanly from one area of life to another and why that’s normal
• Why SMART goals make perfect sense at work, but don’t always work for money
• The difference between ambitious/hard goals and brittle goals
• Why “catch-up energy” erases progress even when you’re technically doing “better”
• When discipline turns into stubbornness (hey, crypto friends)
• The hidden cost of “perfect” goal frameworks (hello, 75 Hard friends)
• Why the happiest wealthy people aren’t obsessing over the minutiae
• The real purpose of goals: options, freedom, and a better life

Connect with Julien and Kiersten on our website, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube.

Join our email list to get updates from us, opportunities for discounts, freebies and a quick rundown on the relevant financial and career news impacting your life.

Get our book Cashing Out: Win the Wealth Game by Walking Away, named 2023 best overall book about investing by Business Insider and one of the best personal finance books by Forbes

If you would like to learn more about investing, check out our newest class, Making Money Grow