an archived episode from youtube from an advice submission:

I struggle with the idea of being a survivor. I have guilt that my assault(s) don't take up much space in my mind. In my day to day, I don't think of it much, but when I'm in a similar setting as when it occurred (a physical therapy session) I get really anxious, uncomfortable, sweaty, and angry. It makes me upset that I never said anything, and it makes me upset that I feel like imposter syndrome about it. I do feel it wasn't as bad as others' experiences have been, but I know that doesn't mean that my experience wasn't painful- it still violated me, crossed my boundaries and was evil. It was so subtle, that's what was so evil about it. Felt nuanced and so I didn't report anything because I felt so confused. I've been confused about it for years. I feel nervous going to the gynecologist and I just get emotional whenever I have to lay down in a medical setting and expose myself. Overall- I'm okay, I feel alright. I think it's just those settings I remember anything even happened to me, and that makes me feel guilty. I feel guilty that I feel okay, that my mind hasn't processed it on some level. Also I just want to say thank you for creating a space for me and this resource. <3 you're amazing.

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