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  • leaping to the next lily pad with Kelsey Tortorice
    Jan 15 2026

    Kelsey has been a teacher and mentor to me for a long time and was instrumental in helping me bring this podcast into being. So it was special to have her on as a guest. In this episode, Kelsey shares about the series of tower moments and transformations that led her out of a her job as a music teacher and into a new world as a spiritual entrepreneur.


    You can connect with Kelsey's work work on her podcasts: Maia Games, Lab Partners, and Living Your Design. You can also join her patreon for deeper study and community and go to her website if your curious to learn more.


    Kelsey is a 5/2 emotional manifestor and Sagittarius rising, Aries sun, and a Sagittarius moon.


    Music by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@noahsouderrusso⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠


    You can connect with me at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠tolandlawrence.com

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    1 Std. und 46 Min.
  • finding gratitude with Louise Rayner
    Dec 27 2025

    Louise Rayner and I have know each other for a very long time and she holds such a special place in my heart. She was my family's nanny for 5 years of my childhood, but she has become a good friend. She shares about some significant moments in her life as well as talk more about the self development journey she’s been on. We also talk about changing self-limiting beliefs, manifesting the life you want, and finding gratitude even in the hard times.


    You can connect with her on instagram at @louiseraynerphotography or on her website.


    She is a 4/6 reflector and a Libra rising, Taurus sun, and Sagittarius moon.


    Music by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@noahsouderrusso⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠


    You can connect with me at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠tolandlawrence.com

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    1 Std. und 14 Min.
  • surrendering to the hurricane with Nicole BZ
    Dec 4 2025

    Nicole BZ and I have a conversation about her experience with the shocking floods during Hurricane Helene in Asheville in October 2024. We talk about shifting identities, surrendering to grief, and alchemizing trauma and loss. She really shares so much wisdom in this one.


    You can connect with her work at nicolebz.com and you can listen to her podcast You Know Everything wherever you get podcasts.


    Nicole BZ is a 4/1 splenic projector and Sagittarius rising, Taurus sun, and a Cancer moon.


    Music by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@noahsouderrusso⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠


    You can connect with me at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠tolandlawrence.com

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    1 Std. und 12 Min.
  • the heart is uncomplicated with Arielle Desiray Contreras-Díaz
    Oct 25 2025

    Arielle and I met at the ayahuasca retreat in 2023. In this conversation we talk about her experience with chronic illness, what led her to ayahuasca, and a experience of profound heartbreak in the aftermath. We also talk about being disconnected from the body, learning to let go of perfectionism, and reclaiming creativity.


    Arielle is a Peabody and GLAAD-nominated television writer and producer whose career has spanned Netflix, Prime Video, FOX, and Disney+. You can connect with her and her work on instagram at @she.is.that.


    Arielle is a 6/2 emotional generator and Virgo rising, Virgo sun, and Libra moon.


    Music by ⁠⁠⁠⁠@noahsouderrusso⁠⁠⁠⁠


    You can connect with me at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠tolandlawrence.com

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    1 Std. und 28 Min.
  • the untethering experience of losing a parent with lesley dudden
    Sep 23 2025

    In this conversation, I speak with my old friend, Lesley Dudden, about the impact of the loss of her mom to cancer in her 20s after previously losing her father to ALS in her early teens.


    We talk about the haze of decision making after grief, why she has some regrets about that time, the Piscean desire to escape reality, and how her identity has changed in the years since.


    Lesley is a Cancer Rising, Pisces Sun, and Sagittarius Moon and a 6/2 emotional projector.


    You can connect with Lesley at @lesleykdudden


    Music by ⁠⁠⁠@noahsouderrusso⁠⁠⁠


    You can connect with me at ⁠⁠⁠⁠tolandlawrence.com

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    58 Min.
  • leaping into the lazy river with Krysten Vazquez
    Sep 3 2025

    In this conversation, Krysten Vazquez, who co-organized the trip to Peru where I first took ayahuasca, joins me to talk about the the decision to get divorced about a year after getting married. We talk about coping with severe anxiety, learning to trust your intuition, and reclaiming parts of the self we sometimes lose in the adulthood.


    You can connect with Krysten's work at ⁠elfaritohealing.com⁠ or ⁠@elfaritohealing⁠.


    Krysten is a Taurus Rising, Taurus Sun, and Capricorn Moon and a 2/4 sacral generator.


    Music by ⁠⁠⁠@noahsouderrusso⁠⁠⁠


    You can connect with me at ⁠⁠⁠⁠tolandlawrence.com

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    1 Std. und 4 Min.
  • nobody cares (and to me that's a good thing)
    Aug 15 2025

    This is sort of a season one finale episode and teaser for season two. I didn't edit this one because I knew if I tried I wouldn't release it. So please forgive any imperfections in the audio. I talk about how creating and releasing the podcast has helped me let go of certain fears I've carried most of my life. I also put out a call to anyone who might be interested in sharing a story for the next season.


    Music by ⁠⁠@noahsouderrusso⁠⁠


    You can email me at tolandlawrence@gmail.com or connect with me at ⁠⁠⁠tolandlawrence.com.

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    21 Min.
  • looking into the obsidian mirror with Amanda Vazquez
    May 31 2025

    In this conversation, Amanda Vazquez, who co-organized the trip to Peru where I first took ayahuasca, joins me to talk about the reality shifting experience of taking plant medicine for the first time. We also dive into reclaiming her indigeneity, facing tendencies of perfectionism, meeting our unpleasant emotions, and letting go of old stories.


    You can connect with Amanda's work at elfaritohealing.com or @elfaritohealing.


    Amanda is a Cancer Rising, Gemini Sun, and Virgo Moon and a 5/1 emotional manifestor.


    Music by ⁠⁠@noahsouderrusso⁠⁠


    You can connect with me at ⁠⁠⁠tolandlawrence.com

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    1 Std. und 11 Min.