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  • Honk Honk, It’s The Damp Gusset Calendar!
    Jan 6 2026

    This week, we dive headfirst into chaos.

    We kick things off in The Moan Zone, raging against the machine — specifically getting completely stitched up by missing items at the McDonald’s Drive-Thru and the soul-crushing experience of dealing with robotic customer service voices.
    Is it really too much to ask for a human and a complete order?!


    Then it’s over to listener stories, and things go from awkward to completely off the rails.


    Listener Karen delivers two absolute belters:


    • The Calendar Conundrum – She catches her ‘knob’ husband slipping a Playboy calendar into the shopping basket and unleashes hell… only to realise she’s shouting at a total stranger. Peak public embarrassment.

    • The Damp Gusset Introduction – A first date with a nervous, very drunk Marine who declares “damp gusset” is his favourite phrase, honks her boobs like a car horn (Honk! Honk!), and then immediately puts his mum on the phone. Twenty minutes in.

    Maximum cringe. Zero judgement. The very best of this week’s listener submissions.


    YouTube Music: https://music.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLRKbkLpMRY5EcJoX3l4dG7JUjr8C7bVo1


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    45 Min.
  • School Run Rage, Woman Swallows Live Frogs & The Rim Job Fart Fiasco! Episode 01
    Dec 2 2025

    This week on the Zero F's Podcast, Ryan enters The Moan Zone to rant about school run parking etiquette. If you are the type of parent who parks in the drop-off zone instead of driving away, this episode is for you (and not in a good way).

    In Weird News: We discuss the viral story from China where a woman swallowed eight live frogs in an attempt to cure her back pain. Instead of relief, she ended up with a Sparganum tapeworm infection. We discuss why folk remedies like eating raw amphibians are a terrible idea.

    Listener Stories: We feature one of our funniest embarrassing sex stories ever. A listener details a rim job gone wrong when she accidentally unleashed a fart directly into her boyfriend's face. We discuss the "face-to-arse ratio," the sonic boom, and his surprisingly calm reaction to the incident.

    #ZeroFsPodcast #SchoolRun #RimJobStory #FunnySexStories #WeirdNews #Tapeworm #LiveFrogs #ParentingRage #Podcast #Comedy #FartStory


    Have a "Moan" for the Moan Zone? Spotted a weird news story? Or have an embarrassing confession that you need to get off your chest?


    We want to hear it! Nothing is off-limits and no story is too embarrassing for us. 📧 Email us: stories@zerofspodcast.com


    📱 FOLLOW THE MADNESS


    Catch the visual side of the podcast, clips, and behind-the-scenes chaos with Ryan and Laura:


    TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@zerofspodcast

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/zerofspodcast/

    YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@zerofspodcast


    🎧 LISTEN & SUBSCRIBE

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    38 Min.
  • Official Trailer: Welcome to Zero F's
    Nov 25 2025

    Get ready for the chaos! Join Ryan and Laura for the Zero F's Podcast—the show where absolutely nothing is off-limits.

    In this trailer:

    • Is 36 too young to be a MILF? 👵

    • Why Airport Security turns us into absolute monsters. ✈️

    • A dating horror story involving a "Rim Job" that you cannot unhear. 🍑💨

    Episode 1 drops on Tuesday, December 2nd.

    Hit the Follow (or +) button right now so you don't miss the launch!

    #ZeroFsPodcast #Comedy #UKPodcast #FunnyStories #DatingFails #Relatable #PodcastTrailer

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    1 Min.