Can you be gay and Christian? What does growing up LGBTQ in the church actually do to your mental health? And how do you heal from years of being told you’re going to hell?

In this episode of You Can Be Both, host Lauren Lanzaretta sits down with licensed therapist Candice Czubernat, founder of The Christian Closet and an LGBTQ+ affirming counseling practice, to unpack religious trauma, conversion therapy, shame, and the psychological impact of growing up gay in conservative Christianity.

Candice shares her journey from attending Moody Bible Institute to falling in love with a woman, navigating spiritual abuse, and eventually building a thriving practice helping LGBTQ Christians heal.

In this episode, we discuss:

• What religious trauma does to your nervous system

• The psychological damage of being told you’re going to hell

• How conversion therapy harms LGBTQ people

• How to tell the difference between fear and Holy Spirit conviction

• Why “sin feels good” theology is deeply damaging

• Learning to trust yourself again

• Healing shame as a gay Christian

• Rebuilding your relationship with God

• What affirming therapy should actually look like

If you’ve ever struggled with anxiety, shame, fear of hell, or distrust of yourself because of your sexuality and faith — this episode is for you.

You are not broken. You are not beyond God’s love. And healing is possible.

📖 Download the LGBTQ Christian Healing Guide: https://www.laurenlanzaretta.com/youcanbeboth

🎙 Subscribe for more conversations on faith, sexuality, and mental health

💬 Share this with someone who needs to hear it

📲 Follow us on TikTok and Instagram ⁨@YouCanBeBoth⁩

Does conversion therapy work?

What actually happens behind closed doors in Christian “ex-gay” programs—and why do people stay for years?

In this episode of The You Can Be Both Podcast, host Lauren Lanzaretta sits down with Timothy Rodriguez, author of Conversion Therapy Dropout, for a raw, unfiltered conversation about surviving eight years of conversion therapy, working behind the scenes for some of the biggest evangelical megachurches (including Hillsong, Elevation Church, and Willow Creek), and reclaiming faith after religious trauma.

Timothy shares:

• What conversion therapy really looks like (it’s not what most people think)

• Why conversion therapy doesn’t change sexuality—but does cause deep psychological harm

• How churches promote “belonging” while quietly silencing LGBTQ people

• The truth behind the “ex-gay” movement and why it fails

• How shame, repression, and spiritual abuse nearly destroyed his life

• Why LGBTQ Christians often feel closer to God after coming out, not farther away

• Why conversion therapy is still happening today—and growingThis conversation also breaks down:

• The role of megachurch culture in sustaining harmful theology

• How conversion therapy has gone underground under “religious freedom”

• Why trans and nonbinary youth are now the primary targets

• What it means to be both LGBTQ and Christian without self-hatred

⚠️ Trigger warning: This episode discusses religious trauma, mental health crises, and conversion therapy practices.

If you’re questioning your faith, your sexuality, or what you’ve been told about God—you are not alone.

📘 Get the LGBTQ Christian Healing & Resource Guide:https://www.laurenlanzaretta.com/youcanbeboth

📚 Learn more about Timothy Rodriguez & Conversion Therapy Dropout: https://amzn.to/45OiADa

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/timothy.s.rodriguez/?hl=en

🔔 Subscribe for more conversations on faith, queerness, healing, and spiritual freedom

🎧 Available on Spotify and all podcast platforms

TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 – Does Conversion Therapy Work? (The Truth)

02:26 – 8 Years in Conversion Therapy: “Spoiler Alert: No”

05:26 – Working for Megachurches While Hiding His Identity

07:11 – “Everyone’s Welcome”… Until You’re Gay

09:06 – Outed by a Youth Pastor

12:05 – Calling Exodus International

13:48 – What Conversion Therapy Really Looks Like

17:46 – Why People Stay Trapped for Years

22:31 – The Moment Everything Fell Apart

24:26 – “I Would Rather Die Than Live Like This”

25:08 – Hospitalization & Breaking Free

30:08 – Why He Wrote Conversion Therapy Dropout

33:01 – Why He Didn’t Walk Away from God

36:17 – LGBTQ Christians & Real Faith

41:21 – Is Conversion Therapy Still Happening Today?

45:52 – Why Trans & Nonbinary People Are Now the Target

47:19 – The Realization There Was No End

56:17 – Prayer

What does it mean when a straight, white male pastor says LGBTQ+ people fully belong in the church?

In this powerful episode of the You Can Be Both Podcast, host Lauren Lanzaretta welcomes her first-ever guest, Danny Lybarger — a straight, white male pastor, theologian, and founder of The Well: An Inclusive & Justice-Centered Church in the St. Louis area.

Danny is known for using his platform, privilege, and voice within the church to advocate loudly for LGBTQ+ inclusion, even when it put his ordination, funding, and career at risk. His viral TikToks challenge harmful theology and center a message many queer Christians have never heard from someone who “fits” traditional church leadership: you are not excluded from God’s table.

Together, Lauren and Danny unpack some of the most searched, debated, and emotionally charged questions in Christianity today, including:

• Can LGBTQ+ people be Christians?

• Are gay people going to hell?

• What does the Bible actually say about homosexuality?

• Why “welcoming” churches often aren’t affirming

• How to tell if a church is truly LGBTQ+ affirming

• Why church trauma drives so many queer people away from faith

• The responsibility of straight allies and pastors to speak up• United Methodist theology vs evangelical Christianity

• The Wesleyan Quadrilateral (Scripture, tradition, reason, experience)

• Responding to clobber verses, proof-texting, and online hate

• Why representation in church leadership matters

• How radical inclusion is not political—it’s deeply biblical

Danny also shares the real consequences of choosing affirmation: performing same-sex marriages before his denomination allowed it, risking being defrocked, receiving hate mail, and building a church in one of the most conservative counties in Missouri—while refusing to back down.

This episode is for you if:

✔️ You’re LGBTQ+ and have experienced church hurt

✔️ You were raised evangelical and are deconstructing

✔️ You still love Jesus but feel unsafe in church spaces

✔️ You’re searching for an affirming church

✔️ You’re a pastor, leader, or ally who wants to show up better

👉 Subscribe to the You Can Be Both Podcast for conversations at the intersection of faith, sexuality, healing, and justice

👉 Download the LGBTQ+ Healing & Resource Guide: https://www.laurenlanzaretta.com/youcanbeboth

👉 Share this episode with someone who needs to hear they still belong

You can love Jesus. You can be queer. You can be both.

⸻

Connect with Danny Lybarger:

🌐 The Well Church: https://www.thewell636.org/

📱 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@danny_lybarger

📷 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/danny_lybarger/?hl=en

Connect with Lauren Lanzaretta:

🌐 Website: https://www.laurenlanzaretta.com

📱 TikTok: @lanzaretta, ⁨@YouCanBeBoth⁩

📷 Instagram: @lanzaretta, ⁨@YouCanBeBoth⁩

📧 LGBTQ+ Healing & Resource Guide: https://www.laurenlanzaretta.com/youcanbeboth

⸻

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