A personal story of neurodivergence, school struggles, and how effort was misunderstood at 17.

For years, I believed my struggles with focus, energy, and motivation were simply part of my depression — or evidence that I wasn’t trying hard enough. At 17, when I couldn’t read a book for a class assignment, that belief led to an adolescent psychiatric hospitalization and a diagnosis of bipolar disorder.

In this episode, I slow that story way down and look underneath the depression.

I share how undiagnosed ADHD — including challenges with task initiation, sustained attention, abstract sequencing, and delayed reward — was misunderstood as pathology rather than recognized as neurodivergence. Through a nervous system–informed lens, we explore how avoidance and shutdown can be protective responses, not personal failures.

This episode invites a rethinking of depression, effort, and self-blame — and offers a more compassionate, body-based way of understanding ourselves and our symptoms.

In this episode, we explore:

• What it means to look under depression rather than stopping at the diagnosis
• ADHD and executive functioning challenges that often show up as avoidance or shutdown
• How task initiation, sustained attention, abstract sequencing, and delayed reward affect learning
• The emotional cost of having effort misunderstood
• Neurodivergence, misdiagnosis, and the role of the nervous system in protection
• How self-blame can soften when symptoms are understood differently

Gentle note for listeners

This episode includes discussion of adolescent psychiatric hospitalization and psychiatric diagnosis. Please listen with care and reach out for support if anything feels activating.

If you’re in the U.S. and need immediate support, you can call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. If you’re outside the U.S., local crisis resources are available in many countries.

If you and your partner are ready to co-create the roadmap to the relationship of your dreams, join us for the next in-person "Getting the Love You Want" Weekend Couples Retreat!

For support in how to have deeper connections and better communication in the relationships that matter most in your life, follow the host, Trish Sanders on Instagram , Bluesky or LinkedIn.

The pressure to reinvent can feel loud in January, but nature tells a different story: winter is for conservation, repair, and preparing the ground for bloom. We explore how to trade the exhausting “on or off” cycle for nervous system flexibility—choosing the speed that actually supports you. Instead of shaming who you’ve been, we honor the resilience that carried you here and build sustainable change from gratitude, pacing, and somatic awareness.

We dive into the polyvagal map—sympathetic activation, dorsal withdrawal, and ventral connection—and how blended states create options. Safely still (ventral plus dorsal) lets us rest without collapsing; flow (ventral plus sympathetic) helps us move with ease. Through a winter solstice ritual of 13 intentions and a community vision board, joy emerges as a guiding theme, alongside images of nature, beaches, and a snail carrying a clock—a playful reminder to slow time and savor presence. ADHD time anxiety, busy seasons, and holiday illness all become real-world prompts to adjust speed and protect energy.

By befriending the nervous system, we learn to notice signals early and shift into steadier rhythms. We offer two practical steps: practice conscious self-compassion to reduce inner attack, and choose learning paths that resonate—somatic work, breath practices, or resources like Anchored by Deb Dana. From there, we invite one meaningful step—toward rest, play, or action—that aligns with your season. You don’t need a new you; you need new conditions that let your real self bloom.

Subscribe for weekly episodes, leave a review, and connect with us on social at trish.sanders.lcsw. If this resonated, share it with someone who might need a kinder pace.

If you and your partner are ready to co-create the roadmap to the relationship of your dreams, join us for the next in-person "Getting the Love You Want" Weekend Couples Retreat!

For support in how to have deeper connections and better communication in the relationships that matter most in your life, follow the host, Trish Sanders on Instagram , Bluesky or LinkedIn.

When the holidays don’t match the picture in your head, the gap can feel like grief. This year brought fevers, cancellations, and a quiet house that amplified old patterns of shutdown. I share what helped me move through the heaviness with care: naming the dorsal state of the nervous system, choosing breathwork over busyness, protecting sleep, and inviting small, real moments of connection with my kids when plans fell apart.

You’ll hear how I traded perfection for presence and found meaning in simple rituals—wrapping gifts to a breathing cadence, building Legos side by side, taking a short nature walk to collect leaves for a flower press. We talk about practicing regulation first so repair can land, and how to navigate loneliness without abandoning yourself. I open up about the tension between holiday “shoulds” and values, why expectations quietly fuel burnout, and how to design family time around energy and capacity rather than tradition for tradition’s sake.

We also explore a family breathwork session that gave us a shared rhythm when words felt like too much, plus a vision board exercise that revealed the life I’m already creating and the calm I want more of next year. If you’re managing depression, navigating overwhelm, or simply craving a slower season, you’ll find practical, nervous system-informed tools you can use today: regulate, relate, then reason; breathe, rest, invite. Press play to reimagine holidays that honor your bandwidth and build genuine connection.

If you and your partner are ready to co-create the roadmap to the relationship of your dreams, join us for the next in-person "Getting the Love You Want" Weekend Couples Retreat!

For support in how to have deeper connections and better communication in the relationships that matter most in your life, follow the host, Trish Sanders on Instagram , Bluesky or LinkedIn.