Travelling and meeting successful people who can crush it at work
but still fall into disappointing relationship patterns–

something became painfully clear.
Many high achievers I speak to unconsciously
get into relationships expecting their partners
to resolve their self-worth issues
or fill those emotional gaps they’ve been using success to hide.

That “not good enough” wound that can’t be seen
when they are on stage performing.

That fairy tale we hoping for It’s often just a projected fantasy,
and when reality hits —
boom —
The disappointment kicks in,
like a kid who just realized Santa doesn’t exist.

Here’s the thing:
at some point, usually midlife,
when we’ve been humbled by life circumstances,
we get summoned to a wake-up call.

The task becomes to realize
that it’s not about blaming the other person anymore.
It’s about taking ownership of how we show up,
our reactions to our triggers that are happening within us.
Emotional triggers aren’t personal attacks.

They’re signals.
Doorways to level up your self-awareness
instead of falling back into blame.

The ability to distinguish being “harmed”
and being “triggered”.
A big piece I love to teach:
How to expand that space between stimulus and response.

What we do in that gap
is how we can become “trigger proof.”

Whether we reflexively fight, run, or hide
determines the quality of our relationships and leadership.
Also, watch out for the fawn response —
that people-pleasing trap
where you ignore your own needs just to “keep the peace.”
That one will sneak up on you if you’re not careful,
building up a wall of resentment over time.
When you develop the skill of spotting old wounds
getting poked by current relationships,
it becomes an invitation to pause and choose differently.
At the end of the day,
it’s not about finding a perfect partner to save us.
It’s about using relationships as mirrors to grow
into someone more emotionally solid.

This is the secret of secure attachment:
Trusting yourself speak your truth,
because you know you’re able to repair
in moments when it matters the most.
Because success doesn’t mean
sacrificing intimacy.

If you’ve been strong with one,
and challenged with another,

You’re not alone.

The good news is that you can become Trigger-Proof
in love, and leadership together.

Your fulfillment depends on it.
Your wingman on the journey,

Nima

I asked him what was different now–

(After the somatic work,
after facing what he'd been avoiding his whole life.)

"I believe in myself now.
I feel stronger inside. I love myself."

He'd never been able to say that before.

But here's what got me:

His daughter is 11.

Before the work,
if you asked her to look in the mirror and say
"I love you" to herself–

She'd start crying.

His son, 9 years old–

Same thing.

Now–

They can both look in the mirror and say it.

And they feel it.

His wife had enough.

After years of trying to connect with a man
who was there but not really there–

Who'd escape to his garage, his tools,
anywhere but the discomfort of being present–

She initiated the separation.

70% of divorces are initiated by women.

The reason is consistent–

Not because the love disappeared,

but because they've been trying to reach someone
who's been dissociated from themselves for years.

He thought he was always right.

Everyone else was wrong.

(Classic avoidant shutdown.)

The wakeup call came when she said:

"I'm done. I'm moving out."

That's when he reached out.

The Overview Experience was where we began–

A meditation where he finally connected
with the younger parts of himself that he'd abandoned.

He started shaking.

Trembling.

Releasing decades of held emotion.

"I've never had that connection before."

Six months later:

His kids are excelling in school, sports, life.

He told me what neighbors have been noticing–

"The kids are wanting to hang out with me now.
It's amazing."

He got a promotion and a raise at work.

(Leadership emerges when you're no longer at war with yourself.)

He went from angry at his ex to grateful–

"I love her for what she did.
Everything she's done has been amazing."

They're co-parenting peacefully now.

The best part–

"If I know how to connect with me,
I know how to connect with them."

His kids learned by watching him heal.

They didn't need therapy.

They didn't need special programs.

They needed a dad who could look in the mirror and love himself–

(So they could learn to do the same.)

The work we avoid doing on ourselves
doesn't just affect us.

It spills.

Onto our partners.

Our kids.

Our teams.

Our entire lives.

And the beautiful thing about healing–

It's contagious too.

Your wingman on the adventure,

Nima

_______________________________________________________
P.S. If you're in that space–

The limbo of "should I stay or go,"

The pattern of pushing away the people you love,

The exhaustion of maintaining the facade while falling apart inside–

I'm offering a free Blind Spot Session (normally $497).

In 30 minutes, we'll uncover:

The unconscious patterns keeping you stuck

Why your kids (if you have them)
are learning more from your nervous system than your words

The specific shifts needed to move
from avoidant shutdown to magnetic presence.

This isn't about blame.

It's about seeing what you haven't been able to see–

(And taking ownership of the patterns you're passing down.)

Comment or DM with:

Your relationship situation

What you've already tried

What you want to accomplish

End with: "Nima, can I please get a link to your private calendar?"

Think back to childhood. Recall if you’ve ever been told:
"Don’t cry," or "Stop being so sensitive"…
Maybe even, “that didn’t happen.”
It’s a subtle, but deeply painful cut to a sensitive soul.

Many high achievers I work with
grew up in family systems where certain emotions—
like anger, sadness, or vulnerability—
were basically off-limits.
So they adapt by learning to quiet parts of themselves just to get by.
This is a contributing factor in what’s called the “fawn response”:
When you start silencing your own feelings
to keep the peace and get acceptance.

Because “I’m only safe when others around me are happy.”

But here’s the thing—
this emotional exile messes with your self-worth
and your ability to really connect.

Relationships end up feeling fake, transactional, and manipulative.
Now, from a spiritual angle
(where I find a lot of my own truth),
my psyche doesn’t just let these buried parts stay hidden from me.

It mirrors them back to me through people and situations
that irritate me the most.

Think of this as a mirror from Carl Jung’s idea:
other people’s behaviors that trigger us
often reflect what we’ve shoveled into the shadows.

Shadow work—that practice of leaning into your triggers
and physical sensations without running or getting defensive—
is where the magic begins.

When you get curious about those uncomfortable feelings
instead of pushing them away, they lose power.

You stop fighting what you’ve exiled
and start "integrating" it.

That’s when old pain turns into fuel for growth and connection.

Becoming Trigger-Proof is a messy process,
but what’s awesome about this is it builds emotional resilience
and reconnects you from your reactive self to your authentic self.

And that means better relationships with yourself and others.

If your career success isn’t translating to emotional freedom,

this might be why.

You’re not broken—
just stuck in a family pattern that’s had you fawning too long.

The good news is, you can turn it around.
Your wingman on the adventure,
Nima