In this last podcast in our series on common thinking errors, Richard and Graham look at how we assign labels to ourselves and to others and then act as if these made-up labels are true.

While labels can help us to understand the world by generalising things into simple to understand categories, often we assign labels about our abilities, experiences, identity and personality that are more of a reflection of a situation than they are of us.

Richard walks Graham through how we can explore these labels we create and reframe them to focus on behaviours that we can change if we wish, and not our identity. Seeing something as an area we are learning is always more constructive than something you are not good enough to do.

We have a habit of only seeing the evidence that supports our view of the world. When stuff happens we can focus on the bits that help us to confirm what we already believe, regardless of how much the evidence is stacked against us. When this perspective collides with unhelpful beliefs or negative self-image, then we start to Discount The Positives, another common thinking error that many of us do from time to time.

In this episode, Graham and Paul explore how this trait that starts off sounding like humility can quickly undermine our own self-confidence and lead to us believing our success is luck while our failures represent our own inadequacies. A sports star who puts their win down to their opponent's bad day, or a salesperson who believes their current run of luck is down to market conditions misses the point, that while we can all be lucky, the hard work learning and practicing, as well as showing up each day and putting in the graft, was most likely behind all of that so called luck!

As we continue to explore the common thinking errors, the little trip-ups in the way that we think, our episode this time explores Personalisation. Personalisation happens when we blame ourselves for things that are really outside our control. We did not plan this episode for our Christmas one, but what a lucky coincidence, as you may experience a little of this over the next few days, so it might be worth understanding what is going on.

Graham and Paul dig into what causes us to take the normal to and fro of life and sometimes find meaning and slight on ourselves that was never there, or a least never intended in that way. How criticism of a project or piece of work can feel like criticism of us, or the people around you laughing are almost certainly not laughing at you.

So this Christmas break, the weather is not down to you, and unless you really are one of the few people who decide what is going to be shown on the telly, the fact that there are 200 channels and nothing on, well, that is not your fault either!