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Rachel Hollis gives a tough-love talk on self-deception—how people perform a version of their lives (especially through social media) to feel significant, but end up emptier because they avoid facing what’s real. She breaks down three common lies (performing growth instead of doing it, living in “someday,” and performing for an audience) and offers steps to get honest: a reality-check person, a calendar/bank audit, and saying the true thing out loud.

Get your copy of Rachel's Book Here: Audible, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Books-A-Millon, Bookshop.org, or wherever books are sold!

00:00 Scarcity Mindset & Why “Faking Abundance” Feels Empty

01:09 Meet Rachel Hollis + Why This Episode Is Tough Love

03:36 The Pattern: Performing Your Life Instead of Living It

06:10 Rachel’s Vertigo Story: When Emotions Show Up in the Body

08:55 You Can’t Fix What You Refuse to Face (Fake It Till You Make It?)

11:13 What Self-Deception Is—and Why Your Brain Does It

14:22 Sawyer, Mirrors, and the Cost of Not Seeing Reality Clearly

19:21 The Quest for Significance: Social Media, Scarcity, and “Looking Successful”

28:10 3 Types of Self-Deception (Type #1: Performing Growth vs. Real Growth)

30:05 When Self-Help Becomes a Trap: Consuming vs. Actually Growing

32:01 ‘Eat Pray Love’ Syndrome: Changing Scenery Without Changing Patterns

33:26 Real Work Isn’t Cute: The Uncomfortable, Unseen Healing Process

35:39 Self-Deception #2: Living in ‘Someday’ Instead of Facing Today

38:35 Self-Deception #3: Performing Your Life for an Audience (Social + AI)

44:07 The Way Through: Ego Deaths, Radical Honesty, and Letting Go of the Facade

46:06 Her Biggest Ego Check: Why ‘Girl, Wash Your Face’ Was Mostly Luck

50:14 3 Practical Steps to Get Real: Accountability, Audits, and Saying It Out Loud

54:37 Closing Reminder: You’re Human—Choose Truth in One Area This Week

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Fan Fave Replay Original Air Date - December 16, 2024

Rise is Back! Get your tickets while they last! - Live Events!!

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Have you ever wondered why so many people give up on their dreams? In this episode, we’re diving into the five biggest reasons people quit—and more importantly, how you can avoid falling into the same traps. Whether it’s fear of failure, lack of support, or feeling stuck when the road gets tough, we’ll unpack the hidden obstacles that hold people back and share actionable advice to help you stay motivated, focused, and on track. If you’ve ever felt like giving up on a goal, this episode is for you. Let’s turn those doubts into determination!

Get your copy of Rachel's Book Here: Audible, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Books-A-Millon, Bookshop.org, or wherever books are sold!

00:00 Stop Wasting Energy on Naysayers

01:02 Introduction to the Podcast

01:42 Why People Give Up on Their Dreams

02:29 The Power of Tenacity

03:11 Five Reasons People Give Up on Dreams

03:45 Voice of Authority: A Dream Killer

05:00 Rachel's Journey to Becoming an Author

10:57 Self-Publishing Success

19:26 Handling Unsolicited Opinions

25:50 When Someone Else Beats You to It

26:03 Your Unique Story Matters

27:18 Facing the Fear of Competition

27:54 Embracing the Hard Work

30:02 Breaking Down Big Dreams

32:12 Surround Yourself with Dreamers

34:40 The Long Journey to Success

39:47 Turning Short-Term Failures into Long-Term Wins

46:21 Final Thoughts and Encouragement

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Call the podcast hotline and leave a voicemail! Call (737) 400-4626

Watch the podcast on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/RachelHollisMotivation/videos

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To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices.

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Special replay from February 10th’s live webinar

Rise is Back! Get your tickets while they last! - Live Events!!

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Rachel challenges the idea that motivation is the key to change, arguing that motivation is fleeting and often leads to shame when goals slip, especially when people use harsh self-talk, comparison, or other unhealthy tactics to “get motivated.” She explains that real progress comes from routines, habits, and ritual—showing up for your life every day in ways that fit your real circumstances, including mid-level days and hard days influenced by stress, hormones, or life seasons.

Get your copy of Rachel's Book Here: Audible, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Books-A-Millon, Bookshop.org, or wherever books are sold!

00:00 Show Up Every Day (Without Hustle): Aligning With Your Future Self

01:04 Welcome + Intention for a Perspective Shift

02:30 Rachel’s Background: 15 Years of Personal Development Lessons

03:35 Why Goal-Setting Culture Creates Shame (The Motivation Trap)

06:18 Motivation Fades—Build Routines, Habits, and Rituals Instead

08:07 Great Days, Bad Days, and the ‘Middle’ Where We Get Stuck

12:37 Toxic Motivation Tactics: Self-Hate, Caffeine, and Comparison

17:42 Personal Story: Diet Culture, Binge Cycles, and Why ‘It Works’ Doesn’t Last

24:27 Business Example: Stop Waiting for the Market—Hope Isn’t a Strategy

27:00 The Red-Things Exercise: You See What You’re Looking For (Choose Your North Star)

30:05 Make Change Automatic: What If Growth Was as Easy as Brushing Your Teeth?

30:55 Your Weird Little Habits: Nose-Blowing, Sleep Positions & Chapstick Rituals

32:46 Why Habits Feel Mandatory: Triggers, Cues & The Power of Habit

34:18 The Framework Starts Here: Stop Relying on Motivation

35:49 Goal Type #1: The ‘One Thing’ That Changes Everything

38:32 Consistency Beats Intensity: Falling in Love with the Process

40:41 Goal Type #2: Chasing a Feeling in Hard Seasons

42:34 Goal Type #3: ‘Future You’ Persona + Vision Details

44:31 Perfectionism & Analysis Paralysis: Just Choose a Direction

46:59 Build Systems That Work: Recipes, Experiments & Habit Stacking

53:11 Time Expectations + Environment: The Map, the People, and Momentum

59:34 Find Your Community (Free or Paid) + Final Challenge: Do One Thing This Week

01:02:40 Wrap-Up: You Don’t Need Motivation—You Need a Process

Sign up for Rachel’s weekly email: https://msrachelhollis.com/insider/

Call the podcast hotline and leave a voicemail! Call (737) 400-4626

Watch the podcast on YouTube: http://youtube.com/@MsRachelHollis

Follow along on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/MsRachelHollis

To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.