If you feel like you keep ending up in the same relationship with a different person, this episode explains why.

In the Season 12 premiere of The Crazy Ex-Wives Club, Erica breaks down the real reason relationship patterns repeat after divorce. Not because you’re broken, unlucky, or choosing the “wrong” people, but because unhealed wounds, nervous system responses, and unconscious expectations are still running the show.

This episode explores the space between rushing back into dating and avoiding it altogether. Erica walks through the three core lessons that determine whether you’re actually ready for a new relationship. She explains how partners become emotional stand-ins, why asking someone else to regulate your happiness creates resentment, and how to tell the difference between a “me problem” and a “we problem.”

You’ll also hear why even the right person can trigger you, how old wounds from betrayal and infidelity resurface in new relationships, and why triggers are information, not proof that you’re failing at healing.

You’ll learn:

• Why repeating relationship patterns after divorce is common and preventable

• How to tell the difference between a personal trigger and a real relationship issue

• What “jumping through hoops” looks like and why it destroys connection

• How divorce rewires your nervous system and impacts dating readiness

• Why asking a partner to make you happy creates resentment

• How unhealed wounds from betrayal show up in new relationships

• Why triggers are data, not red flags

• How to stop outsourcing emotional regulation to a partner

• What it means to enter a relationship whole instead of looking to be completed

• How divorce can become a blueprint for healthier relationships moving forward

We talk about:

00:00 Wondering if you’re ready to date again

02:00 Why people rush back into dating or avoid it completely

04:00 Divorce as a nervous system reset

06:00 “Me problem vs we problem” in relationships

08:00 How relationships mirror unhealed wounds

10:00 Why expecting a partner to complete you creates pressure

12:00 Jumping through emotional hoops and resentment

14:00 Self-imposed expectations and burnout

16:00 Cleaning up your side of the street

18:00 The stories your mind creates when triggered

20:00 Infidelity wounds and anxiety in new relationships

22:00 Communicating triggers instead of assuming meaning

24:00 Why even good partners will trigger you

26:00 Using triggers as information, not danger

28:00 Recognizing repeating conflict patterns

30:00 Choosing new responses instead of old reactions

32:00 Why divorce gives you tools to never let it get that bad again

Links Mentioned in the Show

Looking for support on your journey? Join THE CLUB

Ready to Define the New You? Create your BLUEPRINT

Contact Erica & The Crazy Ex-Wives Club

www.thecrazyexwivesclub.com

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Dating after divorce can feel like standing in the middle of a wide-open field with no map, no rules, and a nervous system still recovering from impact. Some people jump right back in, others swear off dating forever, and many find themselves repeating patterns they thought they’d already healed.

In this episode of The Crazy Ex-Wives Club, Erica is joined by relationship coach and fellow divorcee Anna Howerton for a deeply honest, grounded conversation about what dating after divorce really requires. Not strategies, not swipes, but self-awareness, clarity, and the courage to choose differently.

They unpack why divorce can actually be one of the greatest gifts for future partnership, how to recognize red flags versus yellow flags, why “manifesting the perfect partner” can backfire without inner work, and how unmet needs from your first marriage often show up in disguised ways the second time around.

This episode is for anyone who wants partnership again, but refuses to lose themselves in the process.

You’ll learn:

• Why divorce gives you the rare opportunity to choose again with wisdom

• How to tell the difference between red flags, yellow flags, and growth edges

• Why dating too soon can turn you into an “energetic mess”

• How unmet needs from your first marriage shape who you’re attracted to next

• Why clarity around your core emotional needs matters more than chemistry

• How independence, attraction, and compatibility can clash if you’re not honest

• Why trying to change a partner often signals inner work that still needs doing

• How to stay whole in a relationship instead of looking to be completed by one

• What it really means to choose someone “warts and all”

• How to date with intention instead of chasing validation or potential

We talk about:

00:00 Dating after divorce, jump back in or stay out

02:00 Why most people aren’t taught how to choose a partner

04:00 The gift of divorce, choosing again with self-awareness

06:00 Why many first marriages were right at the time, but not forever

08:00 Losing yourself in marriage and rebuilding identity

10:00 Dating too soon and becoming emotionally reactive

12:00 Boundaries, swiping fatigue, and dating with intention

14:00 Codependency patterns that surface after divorce

16:00 Manifestation, clarity, and calling in the wrong container

18:00 Seeing people as they are, not as potential

20:00 Red flags vs yellow flags and why they’re personal

23:00 Why surface-level deal breakers can sabotage connection

26:00 Choosing someone with complexity, not perfection

29:00 The danger of trying to change your partner

31:00 Accepting someone exactly as they are today

34:00 Emotional needs, attraction, and long-term fulfillment

37:00 Why second marriages can feel harder but more honest

40:00 Staying whole inside partnership instead of outsourcing happiness

43:00 Using divorce as a blueprint for a healthier future

Links Mentioned in the Show

Looking for support on your journey? Join THE CLUB

Ready to Define the New You? Create your BLUEPRINT

Loved this week’s guest? LEARN MORE

Contact Erica & The Crazy Ex-Wives Club

www.thecrazyexwivesclub.com

Tag us @ Instagram | Facebook | TikTok

Did you love this episode? Make sure to follow for more.