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Welcome to Storytime with Kray, where public domain meets public opinion—and everything is read in a voice so smooth it could sell overpriced whiskey or convince a goose to pay rent.

This episode is just a quick hello, a little intro to what this podcast is all about. No fancy sound effects, no dramatic reenactments—just me, some classic stories, and the kind of voice that makes even a wicked witch sound oddly comforting.

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by Charles Perrault | 1889

Get ready to dive into the beautifully messed-up tale of Cinderella, a kind soul stuck under the thumb of her nightmare stepmom and two goblins in wigs.

Just when it looks like scrubbing floors is her forever plan, a little magic flips the script. Rags to ballgown, pumpkin to limo, and one night to make it count. But when midnight hits, reality checks back in hard.

All she leaves behind is a glass slipper and a Prince with trust issues and no idea how shoes work.

Notable Quotes:

• "But she bore all her troubles with patience... she grew more lovely in face and figure every year."
• "Cinderella," said the Fairy, "I am your godmother... you shall go to the grand ball tonight, but you must do just as I bid you."
• "...giving her a caution to leave the ball before the clock struck twelve."
• "On her arrival, her beauty struck everybody with wonder."
• "To her alarm she heard the clock strike twelve."
• "...a royal herald proclaimed that the King's son would marry her whose foot the glass slipper should be found exactly to fit."

Summary:

• A kind girl endures hardship under a cruel stepfamily.
• Her Fairy Godmother magically transforms her for a royal ball, with a strict midnight deadline.
• She captivates the Prince but flees at midnight, losing a glass slipper.
• The Prince searches for the slipper's owner.
• The slipper miraculously fits Cinderella, revealing her true identity and leading to her marriage.

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by Frederick Warne & Co. | 1904

Three little pigs head out to make their way in the world. One builds with straw, another with sticks, and the last one with bricks. The Big Bad Wolf shows up ready to blow their plans to pieces.

The first two pigs learn the hard way that shortcuts don’t hold up under pressure. But the third pig? He’s got patience, brains, and a house that doesn’t flinch. The wolf huffs, puffs, and fails, over and over, until things end in flames and fried ego. Turns out planning ahead beats blowing hot air.

Notable Quotes:

• "Little Pig, little Pig, let me come in."
• "No, no, by the hair of my chinny chin chin."
• "Then I'll huff and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house in!"
• "Ready! I have been and come back again, and got a nice pot-full for dinner."
• "Hah! I frightened you, did I? I had been to the Fair and bought a butter churn, and when I saw you I got into it, and rolled down the hill."

Summary:

• An old Sow sends her three little pigs to seek their fortune.
• The first pig builds a house of straw, which the Wolf easily blows down and eats him.
• The second pig builds a house of furze, which the Wolf also blows down and eats him.
• The third pig builds a strong house of bricks, which the Wolf cannot blow down.
• The clever third pig outsmarts the Wolf multiple times by getting up early for turnips and apples.
• The pig also frightens the Wolf by rolling down a hill in a butter churn from the Fair.
• Finally, the smart pig tricks the Wolf into falling into a pot of boiling water when he attempts to come down the chimney, and eats him for supper.

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