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  • Episode 20, Breaking the cycle

    Episode 20, Breaking the cycle
    Jan 8 2026
    In this episode, I explore generational abuse through a trauma-informed lens, not as isolated incidents, but as a family system shaped by unresolved patterns of control, anxiety, and emotional insecurity.

    I reflect on growing up in an environment where emotional safety was limited, where rest and disagreement were not easily available, and where my role as a child gradually became managing the emotional states of my parents rather than being supported in developing my own identity.

    This episode discusses why some children are treated differently within controlling or dysregulated family systems. It looks at how awareness, emotional sensitivity, and the ability to question patterns can unintentionally disrupt these systems, often leading to increased pressure, blame, or scapegoating.

    I also speak about the process of leaving a harmful system. Going no-contact was not a sudden or impulsive decision, but the result of prolonged internal conflict and reflection. I share an important realization: parents cannot give what they themselves did not receive, and understanding this does not require self-sacrifice.

    Breaking generational cycles does not mean labeling parents as evil. It means acknowledging harm, refusing to normalize it, and choosing not to repeat it.
    This is a quiet, reflective episode about grief, clarity, and self-preservation. It speaks to the reality that healing can be lonely and misunderstood, but it can also be honest and stabilizing.

    If you have ever been judged for protecting your boundaries or choosing distance for your wellbeing, this episode may resonate with you.
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    15 Min.
  • Episode 19- Breaking the Lineage

    Episode 19- Breaking the Lineage
    Jan 2 2026
    🎙️ Stella’s Lived Experiences | Episode: 19 Breaking the Lineage

    In this episode, I share my lived experience of growing up in a control-based family system, migrating abroad, navigating emotional and financial pressure, and ultimately choosing no-contact as an act of survival.

    This is not a story about blaming parents or seeking sympathy.
    It’s about understanding coercive control, parentification, cultural expectations, and what happens when independence threatens systems built on obedience.

    I talk about:

    Growing up without emotional safety

    Being treated as “the strong one” from a young age

    The difference between support and control

    Migration, job struggle, and pressure tied to dependence

    Why walking away was not cruelty, but self-preservation

    What it really means to break a generational pattern


    This episode is for anyone who has had to choose themselves without being understood, and for those learning to trust their own clarity after years of self-doubt.

    Content note: discussions of emotional abuse, family estrangement, and mental health.

    This is my truth.
    This is my voice.
    This is Stella’s lived experience.
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    15 Min.
  • Episode 18- The Power of Lived Experience

    Episode 18- The Power of Lived Experience
    Sep 28 2025
    Experience, when used wisely, is a gift. Used recklessly, it can blur boundaries. The art of social work is not simply about having lived experience, but learning how to translate it into practice responsibly, ethically, and compassionately.

    At its heart, social work is about humanity. And humanity is not found in textbooks or manuals; it is found in stories, scars, resilience, and the countless ways people survive. Lived experience is the most honest reflection of that humanity. It is not just another tool in the toolbox; it is the heartbeat of the work.

    What makes lived experience so valuable is simple: it cannot be replicated, faked, or replaced. It is lived. And because it is lived, it carries an authenticity and power that transforms practice from being a service into being a relationship.

    When social workers learn to honor lived experience of their own, their clients’, and their communities’—they don’t just become better practitioners. They become more human. And it is our humanity, above all, that heals.
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    15 Min.
  • Episode 17- Stella's Lived Experiences ❤️‍🩹

    Episode 17- Stella's Lived Experiences ❤️‍🩹
    Sep 3 2025
    Welcome to my podcast, Stella's Lived Experiences; a space where small talk finds its way into big truths and deep conversations unfold like stories we’ve been waiting to hear.

    I’m your host, Stella Bordoloi—an author, social worker, creative stylist, a raw storyteller, and someone who believes that lived experience is more powerful than polished theory. My memoir, Phoenix of the Northeast, is written in an unconventional, lyrical way; woven with sensory notes, raw truth, and even a playlist to guide the rhythm of memory.

    Here, we go beyond surface chatter. We explore what it means to live, to feel, and to remember through story. This is not about being perfect; it’s about being real. Because our lived experiences carry wisdom that no textbook or lecture ever could.

    So settle in whether you’re walking, cooking, or just taking a moment for yourself. Together, we’ll dive into the beauty of conversation, from the lightness of small talk to the depth of soul truths.
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    15 Min.
  • Phoenix of the Northeast- The Stella Bordoloi Memoir, Chapter 11- I Choose Me, Again and Again.

    Phoenix of the Northeast- The Stella Bordoloi Memoir, Chapter 11- I Choose Me, Again and Again.
    Aug 28 2025
    "Take a breath.

    Feel your feet on the ground, the weight of your own body reminding you that you are here, alive, and yours.

    Outside, the world will always have something to say about who you should be, how you should live, and who you should love. But in this moment, all that matters is the choice you make for yourself.


    I didn’t arrive here overnight. I’ve stood in rooms where my voice was ignored, where my needs were dismissed, where love meant abandoning myself just to be chosen by someone else. I’ve given away my seat at my own table more times than I can count.


    But the truth is — no one else can choose me the way I can. And every time I return to myself, I find more of the woman I was always meant to be.


    This is Chapter 11: I Choose Me, Again and Again. It’s about the messy, beautiful work of self-commitment. It’s about walking away from anything that asks you to betray yourself, even if it’s familiar, even if it’s hard. It’s about saying, ‘I am mine first,’ and meaning it.


    So, settle in. Pour yourself something warm. And let’s talk about the most important love story you’ll ever live — the one with yourself."
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    15 Min.
  • Phoenix of the Northeast- A Stella Bordoloi Memoir, Chapter 10- Softness Is My Sword

    Phoenix of the Northeast- A Stella Bordoloi Memoir, Chapter 10- Softness Is My Sword
    Aug 17 2025
    They told me I had to be sharp to survive. That softness was weakness. But they never saw the wars I fought, the kind where you win - not by breaking others, but by refusing to break yourself.

    This is Chapter 10: Softness is My Sword. It is a story about the courage it takes to stay gentle in a world that tells you to harden. About the quiet resilience that doesn’t roar but still stands unshaken.

    "If you’ve ever been told you’re ‘too sensitive,’ maybe this chapter will remind you that’s not your flaw. That’s your superpower."

    Welcome to Chapter 10- Softness Is My Sword and redefining softness as one of the biggest strengths in today's world without losing yourself and your humanness for survival.
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    15 Min.
  • Phoenix of the Northeast- A Stella Bordoloi Memoir, Chapter 9- The Power I Took Back

    Phoenix of the Northeast- A Stella Bordoloi Memoir, Chapter 9- The Power I Took Back
    Aug 5 2025
    Welcome back to Phoenix of the Northeast: The Audio Memoir.

    I’m Stella Bordoloi — and you’re listening to Chapter 9: The Power I Took Back.


    This chapter is about the moment everything shifted.

    The moment I stopped making excuses for harm.

    The moment I stopped mistaking manipulation for love.


    Here, I name what so many women are conditioned to normalize —

    Partners who dim our light, betray our trust, and then blame us for reacting.

    I speak to the gaslighting, the coercion, the cowardice behind faux tenderness.


    But more than that, I speak to the aftermath.

    To the woman who didn’t just survive it — she walked through the fire with her spine intact.

    This is where I stopped breaking and started building.

    Where I stopped explaining and started reclaiming.


    If you’ve ever been made to feel like you’re too much for someone who was never enough —

    This chapter will meet you exactly where you are.


    Let’s begin.
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    15 Min.
  • Phoenix of the Northeast- A Stella Bordoloi Memoir, Chapter 8- I Am Not Your Secret.

    Phoenix of the Northeast- A Stella Bordoloi Memoir, Chapter 8- I Am Not Your Secret.
    Jul 10 2025
    Welcome back to the Phoenix of the Northeast podcast — a memoir in motion, a sanctuary of truth, and a space where no part of us is hidden anymore.

    Today, we arrive at Chapter 8 — I Am Not Your Secret.

    This chapter is a door slammed shut.


    A mirror turned inward.


    A moment where I stopped accepting half-love, half-truths, and half-presence.


    Because let me say it plain:

    I am not something to be tucked away in shadows.

    Not your afterthought.

    Not your guilt trip.

    Not your shame to carry behind closed doors.


    I am not the woman you call at midnight but deny in daylight.

    I am not your experiment in secrecy, in silence, in survival.


    This chapter is for every woman who's ever been hidden, erased, romanticized in private but erased in public.


    For every time you were made to feel like your love, your body, your fire was too complicated to claim out loud.


    This is the moment I spit that shame back out — and say:

    I deserve to be chosen in the sunlight.

    I deserve to be spoken about with pride — not whispered like a sin.

    I am not your secret.

    I am someone you never had the right to hide.




    This chapter might feel like a gut punch.

    But it’s also a liberation.

    A declaration.

    A homecoming to self.


    Because when I stopped begging to be seen — I realized: I was always whole.

    It was they who were never ready for my light.


    And I will never again be small to soothe someone else’s shame.


    This is Chapter 8 of my memoir — and the beginning of every woman remembering:


    You were never meant to be anyone’s secret.

    You are the story, the headline, the whole damn truth.


    Let’s begin.
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    12 Min.