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This episode was hard to make.

Not because I didn’t know what to say —
but because I’ve spent a lifetime learning how not to say it.

In Episode 8 of Starting Rumours: My Life as a Mockstar, I stop performing strength and start telling the truth. About growing up in chaos. About abuse. About the ways trauma shapes your voice, your body, your anger, and your need to survive at any cost.

I talk about what it means to be labeled “too much” when you were never protected enough. About learning to sharpen words into weapons because silence was never safe. About how survival can look like confidence — until one day it doesn’t anymore.

This episode isn’t about revenge.
It isn’t about naming villains.
And it isn’t about rewriting anyone else’s story.

It’s about finally telling mine.

Some people will hear this and feel uncomfortable.
Some will feel exposed.
Others may recognize themselves for the first time.

If this episode makes you cry, pause, breathe, or need to step away — that’s okay. You’re not weak. You’re human.

I have always been a storm.
But storms don’t exist to destroy.
They exist to change the landscape.

⚠️ Trigger Warning (Please Read Before Listening)

This episode contains discussion of:

• Childhood abuse
• Emotional and physical abuse
• Sexual abuse (including references involving minors)
• Trauma responses
• Suicidal ideation
• Family dysfunction

Listener discretion is advised. Please prioritize your emotional safety while listening.

💛 Support & Crisis Resources

If this episode brings up difficult feelings or memories, you are not alone — and help is available.

If you are in immediate danger, call 911 (U.S.) or your local emergency number.

Suicide & Crisis Support

• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (U.S.)
  Call or text 988 | Chat at 988lifeline.org
  Available 24/7
• International Suicide Hotlines
  Find local resources at: https://www.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines
  
  

Child Abuse & Neglect

• Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline (U.S.)
  1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453)
  Call, text, or chat — available 24/7

Sexual Abuse & Assault (Teens & Adults)

• RAINN National Sexual Assault Hotline (U.S.)
  800-656-HOPE (4673) | Chat at rainn.org
  Confidential, 24/7

Domestic Violence

• National Domestic Violence Hotline (U.S.)
  1-800-799-SAFE (7233) | TTY 1-800-787-3224
  Or chat at thehotline.org

If you’re outside the U.S., many of these organizations can help direct you to local resources.

You deserve safety. You deserve support. You deserve to be heard.

Support the show

Thank you for listening to Starting Rumours: My Life as a Mockstar. Follow, share, and leave a review to help the show reach more listeners.

Listen on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts.

© 2025 Mekenzie Zimmerman. All rights reserved.

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There’s a moment before you leave something important.
Not the argument. Not the blow-up.
The moment when you realize you’ve been explaining yourself for too long.

In this episode, I talk about what led up to my leaving the band — the slow power shifts, the silences, and the things I kept telling myself were normal… until they weren’t. I walk through the day I finally left, and the strange mix of relief, grief, and clarity that followed.

This isn’t a story about one bad moment.
It’s about erosion. About listening to your body. About knowing when staying starts to cost you more than leaving.

Everything I share here is my personal experience and perspective, told as honestly and carefully as possible.

This is Episode 7 of Starting Rumours: My Life as a Mockstar.
I Know I’m Not Wrong.

*TRIGGER NOTE* This episode discusses emotional stress and workplace conflict.

Support the show

Thank you for listening to Starting Rumours: My Life as a Mockstar. Follow, share, and leave a review to help the show reach more listeners.

Listen on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts.

© 2025 Mekenzie Zimmerman. All rights reserved.

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In this episode, the fantasy finally cracks.

Shatter Your Illusions of Love is about the moment you realize that what you thought was love was actually control, confusion, and carefully constructed chaos. It’s about the slow unraveling—the gaslighting, the emotional whiplash, the way your instincts keep whispering something isn’t right even when everything looks fine on the outside.

I talk about how narcissistic abuse doesn’t arrive loudly. It arrives charming. Convincing. Disarming. And how easy it is to lose yourself while trying to hold onto a version of love that was never real to begin with.

This episode is not about blame. It’s about clarity.
About trusting your inner voice again.
About naming what hurt you so it no longer owns you.

If any part of this episode feels familiar, you’re not weak—and you’re not alone.

*This episode includes discussion of emotional abuse, narcissistic relationships, and the impact of prolonged manipulation. While details are shared thoughtfully, some listeners may find parts of this conversation sensitive.

Please listen in a way that feels safe for you. You’re welcome to pause, skip ahead, or come back to this episode at another time. Support resources are listed in the episode description if you need them.*

Support & Resources

If you or someone you love needs support, help is available:

• WannaTalkAboutIt
  A peer-support community focused on healing, validation, and connection around abuse, trauma, and mental health.
  Find them on Instagram: @wannatalkaboutit
• National Domestic Violence Hotline
  📞 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
  💬 Chat available via their website
  🕒 24/7, confidential support
• RAINN (Sexual Assault & Abuse Support)
  📞 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)
  💬 Online chat available
  🕒 24/7, confidential
• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
  📞 Dial or text 988
  🕒 24/7 support for emotional distress, crisis, or thoughts of self-harm
• Narcissistic Abuse & Trauma Recovery Resources
  • Psychology Today: articles on narcissistic abuse and trauma bonding
  • Dr. Ramani Durvasula’s work on narcissistic abuse recovery
  • Trauma-informed therapists specializing in emotional abuse and CPTSD

If you’re in immediate danger, please contact local emergency services.

You didn’t imagine it.
You didn’t “love wrong.”
And you don’t have to carry it alone anymore.

Thank you for listening to Starting Rumours: My Life as a Mockstar. Follow, share, and leave a review to help the show reach more listeners.

Listen on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts.

© 2025 Mekenzie Zimmerman. All rights reserved.