A note before you listen: we recorded this episode in late July, several weeks before Hayden Panettiere died on August 16 at the age of 36. We are publishing it as recorded rather than editing her out. Her cause of death has not been released and we are not speculating. We recorded a separate conversation about her death, and it is the episode right before this one. If this is landing hard for you: 988 is the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, call or text. SAMHSA's National Helpline is 1-800-662-4357, free and confidential, 24/7.

Three memoirs. Three completely different humans. One question: what does it cost to numb yourself when the whole world is watching?

Alysse and Tamar pull three of The Sober Curator's most avid readers into a panel on the year's biggest quit lit: “Famesick” by Lena Dunham, “We Did OK, Kid” by Anthony Hopkins, and “This Is Me: A Reckoning” by Hayden Panettiere. Nobody read all three. Everybody has opinions. Sobee scores at the end, and house rules say you cannot score a book you didn't read.

In this episode:

- Amy Liz Harrison's book hack from her 10th grade English teacher days: first paragraph, last paragraph, skim the middle, finish in an hour

- Why The Sober Curator was almost called The Sober Critic, and the epiphany that killed the name

- “Famesick”: medical trauma, opioids, and a memoir that flatly refuses to be a before-and-after

- “We Did OK, Kid”: the blackout drive Anthony Hopkins had to be told about afterward

- Patti Clark and Alysse on what actually stops you, and it isn't what you'd do to yourself

- “This Is Me: A Reckoning” Hayden Panettiere on acting at 11 months old, a mother who was also the manager, and postpartum depression nobody names out loud

- The Sobee score lightning round, plus a quarter-point scoring controversy

Sober Shots:

"Quit lit used to mean one shelf on a bookstore nobody browsed on purpose." (Alysse)

"There are books that I just wanna eat like a really juicy nectarine and just bite into it and just get sticky." (Patti)

Mentioned in this episode:

- Mixtape with The Sober Curator zine: https://shopthesobercurator.com/collections/the-mixtape

- Cover Story Retreat, November 1-4, Scottsdale: https://evolveretreats.co/cover-story-hermosa-inn/

- Anne Marie Cribbin's Famesick review: https://thesobercurator.com/famesick-lena-dunham-review-addiction-recovery/

- Toni Will, Rebellious Success: https://amzn.to/4x65SeD

Getting sober matters. Staying sober matters more.

SEASON 2 MERCH: https://shopthesobercurator.com/

This episode is brought to you by Aura House. Save 10% with code TSC10: https://go.shopmy.us/p-64140200

SC RESOURCES:

- Meet the Contributors

- Alcohol + Substance Use Disorder Guide

- Recovery Nonprofit Resource Guide

- LGBTQ+ Recovery Resource Guide

CONNECT: www.thesobercurator.com | The Sober Sip newsletter: https://www.thesobercuratornewsletter.com/ | @thesobercurator on Instagram, X, TikTok, YouTube + Pinterest

Love the show? Rate, review + follow. It takes 60 seconds and helps more people find us. Feedback + guest ideas: thesobercurator@gmail.com

Hosted by Alysse Bryson with co-host + producer Tamar Routly. For informational and entertainment purposes only; not a substitute for professional advice.

Music: TSC S2 theme "Sober Shots" created by Alysse Bryson using Suno AI, under Suno’s commercial license.

Hayden Panettiere died on Sunday, August 16, at the age of 36. Her cause of death has not been released. Police have said their preliminary investigation found no signs of foul play, and the coroner's office says the cause and manner remain pending further testing. We are not going to speculate past that.

In the same seven-day cycle, and completely separately, Brad Pitt told Esquire he is drinking again after seven years sober.

Two different stories. One conversation this community keeps getting wrong.

Alysse, Tamar and Amy Liz got on the phone within 24 hours and recorded this, because the Quit Lit book club episode dropping right behind it contains their review of Hayden's memoir, This Is Me: A Reckoning, recorded in July, scored the highest of the three books. This is not an obituary and it is not a hot take. It is three women with combined 49 years of lived experience and a lot of hard-won opinions between them, talking about who gets to grade somebody else's recovery.

In this episode:

- What we actually know, what we don't, and why the difference matters

- Why “he relapsed” is not our word to use when he didn't use it himself

- Taking inventory of other people's programs, and the person 30 days in who is listening

- Amy Liz on postpartum depression, and the comparison trap that talks you out of your own experience

- Mental health systems that make you fail two or three times before they'll help you

- Alysse falls off a ladder and turns it into the best analogy in the episode

- The disco ball

Sober Shots:

“That's it. That's all we know. Everything else would be speculation, and we're just not going to go there.” (Alysse)

“The bottom line is we don't care how you got here, but we do care that you are here.” (Alysse)

If this one is landing hard for you, that is a normal reaction and you are not being dramatic. 988 is the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, call or text, 24/7. SAMHSA's National Helpline is 1-800-662-4357, free and confidential. Our full resource guides are linked below. And if a hotline isn't your thing, text one sober person today. Just one. That counts.

Mentioned in this episode:

- Quit Lit book club episode, including our review of This Is Me: A Reckoning, dropping Wednesday, August 19th

- Backstage, our private culture club: https://thesobercurator.com/backstage-with-the-sober-curator/

Getting sober matters. Staying sober matters more.

SC RESOURCES:

- Meet the Contributors

- Alcohol + Substance Use Disorder Guide

- Recovery Nonprofit Resource Guide

- LGBTQ+ Recovery Resource Guide

CONNECT: www.thesobercurator.com | The Sober Sip newsletter: https://www.thesobercuratornewsletter.com/ | @thesobercurator on Instagram, X, TikTok, YouTube + Pinterest

Love the show? Rate, review + follow. It takes 60 seconds and helps more people find us. Feedback + guest ideas: thesobercurator@gmail.com

Hosted by Alysse Bryson with co-host + producer Tamar Routly. For informational and entertainment purposes only; not a substitute for professional advice.

Music: TSC S2 theme “Sober Shots” created by Alysse Bryson using Suno AI, under Suno's commercial license.