Stardate: 81055.9

Recording Status: “Involuntary Reboot Loop”

System Status:

Zero initiated sequence… then forgot why.

Attempted auto-transcription... Result: [ERROR 502: Bad Gateway to Hell]. Notes flagged for excessive alcohol content and “ambient horniness”. System override triggered by “too many soundboard lasers, not enough logic.”

[Transcript Reconstruction: PARTIAL]

: Okay, Ripley, but if the asteroid is made of hops… does that make us the beer foam? : I swear to Emperor Zurg if Zero burps one more binary I’m yanking his RAM out manually. : Can someone PLEASE explain why there’s a ferret in the captain’s chair??

Highlights (??):

: “Would a black hole get you drunk faster?”

: “If you could vape time, would you?”

[Voicemod Catastrophe Detected] – Entire segment recorded in accidental sexy vampire filter.

Unsolved Debate: Is Earth just a locked server in an abandoned MMO?

[Error Code 42069: Echo Chamber Overflow] – Joeba mispronounces “asteroid” as “ass droid” for 12 straight minutes.

System Notes:

“Zero began singing Smash Mouth in reverse. That’s a Class 7 haunting.”

“Podcast declared legally non-Euclidean in 3 star systems.”

“Hosts keep referencing a ‘beer comet’ no one else can see.”

Transmission Support Channels:

Instagram – @theslurredkind

Email – ⁠closeencountersslurredkind@gmail.com⁠

Web – ⁠ceskpod.42.io⁠

Facebook Group – Join the chaos

Podcast Outro: 🎵 “Space Force Theme Song” by Stop.Drop.Rewind

✨ Rate & Review or Risk Temporal Dehydration✨

Apple Podcasts – Smash that ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Spotify – Follow & 5-Star unless you want Zero showing up in your dreams again.