In this 6th episode of "Roads to Recovery," host Jim Russell sits down with Rueben, who shares a raw and deeply personal account of his journey through substance use disorder. The episode delves beneath the surface of substance use, exploring how trying to fit in, portray a certain image, and cope with underlying emotional struggles which led Rueben down a path of self-destruction.

Rueben's feelings of isolation, emotional disregulation, and undiagnosed attention deficit disorder early in life steered him towards risky behaviors and a social circle that reinforced his desire to belong. Rueben recounts the thrill and false sense of importance that came with acting out, leading to his first arrest at 13 and a cycle of escalating substance abuse and legal troubles.

Addiction for Rueben became more than just a chemical dependency, it became a means of masking pain, seeking community, and escaping from self-doubt. Rueben describes the impact of substance use on his relationships, including losing his marriage, alienating his children, and facing financial ruin. He candidly addresses the codependency issues that complicated his recovery and how hitting rock bottom, including a near-fatal car accident and suicidal ideation, became a turning point.

The conversation underscores the importance of dual diagnosis treatment and community support. Rueben explains how programs like Narcotics Anonymous and Codependents Anonymous, along with professional help, have been instrumental in his ongoing healing. He emphasizes that recovery is an ongoing process of learning, making amends, and building healthier connections.

The episode reminds listeners that recovery is possible, support is available, and no one has to walk the road to recovery alone.