King Charles writes a "very sad personal note" about his rumoured Aussie appearance, and the tabloids are LOVING it.

What's so sad about it? Did he have a wardrobe malfunction? A downstairs accident in khaki pants? Or is it something even more devastating?

Hayden and Lachlan unpack the mystery behind Charles's deeply emotional correspondence, then imagine what really went down.

(00:00) Poop emoji

(01:36) Headline warmup: Meghan skips funeral because... she's pregnant

(02:36) This week's story: King Charles's "very sad personal note"

(06:00) Did he even watch it? "

(10:12) SKETCH

In this episode of Royally F%cked, Prince Harry goes to Ukraine... and Prince William gets positively rankled. Hayden reads Lachlan a royal tabloid article about Harry’s surprise visit to a war zone, which somehow turns into a sibling squabble over who gets to play dress-up near tanks.

(02:00) The headline: Harry rubbed William the wrong way
(03:00) Lachlan’s wild guess: royal pantomime beef
(04:00) The real story: Harry visits Ukraine, William gets jealous
(05:30) The meaning of “rankled,” a British vocab journey
(06:30) William’s sad consolation trip to Estonia
(07:30) Why the tabloids keep calling him “father of three”
(08:20) Harry’s Ukraine trip: actual hero stuff
(09:00) Lachlan calls out the random Meghan Markle shade
(09:30) SKETCH

Donald Trump becomes the US president, and somehow this means that Prince Harry might get deported, or something? Who knows??!!!

Apparently, our boy Prince Haz took drugs back in the day and wrote about it in a book, and now Eric Trump wants justice.

Too many characters, too many distractions for us to really understand what's going on.

Oh, and Greta Thunberg is involved.

(01:57) Headline: Trump's Election and Prince Harry's Future

(02:15) Impersonations and Humour

(03:01) Visa Controversy and Drug Use Allegations

(05:02) Trump's Stance and Harry's Memoir

(10:56) Hoax Call with Fake Greta Thunberg

(15:53) Sketch