MEDIA LINKS
Website: delvepsych.com
Instagram: @delvepsychchicago
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DelvePsych20
Substack: https://delvepsych.substack.com/
Hosts
Ali McGarelAdam W. Fominaya

OVERVIEW OF BIG IDEAS
Ali and Adam dig into regret as something many people experience as “an emotion,” while Adam argues it’s better understood as a cognitive process: a backward-looking judgment that you “should have chosen differently” because you dislike the outcome.

They frame this as the historian’s fallacy in everyday life: importing today’s knowledge, perspective, and consequences into the past self, then condemning that past self for not having information it literally couldn’t have had.

A key move is separating the thought-structure (“I should’ve known”) from the actual emotions happening now (shame, embarrassment, disappointment, sorrow, worry). Regret-talk can become a dodge that blocks the real work: repairing, grieving, apologizing, tolerating uncertainty, or recommitting to values.

They also critique outcome-obsessed living (“ends justify the means”) and nudge toward a process-oriented stance: less fixated on getting the perfect outcome, more focused on living a coherent way, even when life hands you lemons.

The episode stays playful with time-travel riffs (and the chaos of trying to “fix” timelines), then pivots into a deeper point: the past and future only exist as representations in the brain right now. Memory is fallible and gets subtly rewritten with recall, so even “hindsight” isn’t a pristine window.

BREAKDOWN OF SEGMENTS
Intro, how to support the podcast by sharing it, and a reminder of Delve services plus consultation info and Substack.

What regret is (and isn’t): cognitive process vs emotion; why people cling to regret; why it can keep you stuck.

Historian’s fallacy explained with a concrete example (the “gift that offended someone” scenario) and the idea that “I should have known” often smuggles in magical thinking.

Shifting from regret to present-tense emotions and present-tense actions: relational repair, naming worry, handling shame, dealing with consequences.

Process-oriented living vs outcome fixation; why “bad outcomes” and discomfort are part of growth rather than proof you failed.

Time travel as metaphor: trying to retroactively fix the past often makes things haywire; levity as an antidote to rumination.

The present-moment thesis: memory and future-plans live in current neural hardware; perception of the past changes as you change; “hindsight is 50/50.”

Closing recap and callouts to Delve’s website and Substack.

AI RECOMMENDED REFERENCES (APA)
Fischer, D. H. (1970). Historians’ fallacies: Toward a logic of historical thought. Harper & Row.

Harrington, A. (2019). Mind fixers: Psychiatry’s troubled search for the biology of mental illness. W. W. Norton & Company.

Nader, K., Schafe, G. E., & LeDoux, J. E. (2000). Fear memories require protein synthesis in the amygdala for reconsolidation after retrieval. Nature, 406, 722–726. https://doi.org/10.1038/35021052

Roese, N. J., & Vohs, K. D. (2012). Hindsight bias. Perspectives on Psychological Science, 7(5), 411–426. https://doi.org/10.1177/1745691612454303