In this episode of Real Over Ideal, Vanessa Gorelkin explores the subtle ways perfectionism sabotages our efforts and shares practical strategies to shift from perfection-driven habits to more flexible, compassionate approaches. Learn how to recognize these patterns and build sustainable progress without the trap of perfection.

Key Topics

• The difference between adaptive and maladaptive perfectionism
• How perfectionism quietly undermines goal-setting and motivation
• Recognizing patterns like procrastination, guilt, and all-or-nothing thinking
• The importance of self-compassion and psychological flexibility
• Small actionable steps to practice imperfection intentionally
• The role of curiosity and growth-driven motivation over fear-based standards
• Tips for naming and neutralizing perfectionistic inner critics
• How to set flexible standards that allow for human variability

Thanks for listening!

Please share the show with anyone who may enjoy it. We'd love it if you'd leave us a 5 star review wherever you're listening- it helps listeners find the show and we read every review.

If you'd like to submit an "Untangle This" question, a comment, or an episode idea-- Email us:

realoveridealpod@gmail.com

Vanessa is available to consult professionally with individual clients. If you'd like to work with Vanessa , reach out here:

https://vanessagorelkin.com/contact-us#12398ed6-3711-4e15-ae41-4711059fd6ab

If you'd like to read about Vanessa's background, treatment perspective and techniques, or other handy information about her practice, check out her Psychology Today profile here:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/vanessa-gorelkin-scottsdale-az/809467

Vanessa and Diana share a frank discussion of pet grief, with a few laughs because life allows us a range of emotions.

Diana and Vanessa delve into the complex emotions surrounding pet grief and the broader topic of loss. They discuss the unique bond between humans and their pets, the societal perceptions of pet grief, and the personal experiences that shape how individuals process loss. The conversation also touches on the therapeutic aspects of grief, the concept of shadow work, and the importance of embracing both light and shadow in life. Diana shares insights from her counseling practice, emphasizing the individuality of grief and the journey towards acceptance and accommodation.

Takeaways

• Grief is a deeply personal experience and varies from person to person.
• Pet grief is often underestimated but can be as profound as losing a human loved one.
• The bond with pets is unique due to their unconditional love and companionship.
• Grief involves both light and shadow, requiring acceptance of both to heal.
• Therapy can help individuals navigate the complexities of grief and loss.
• Shadow work involves exploring hidden aspects of oneself to foster healing.
• Grief is not linear; it doesn't follow a set pattern or timeline.
• Embracing vulnerability and courage is essential in the grieving process.
• The loss of a pet can trigger reflections on mortality and personal growth.
• Grief can transform over time, becoming less sharp but always present.

Reach Diana here:

https://www.luxumbracounselling.com/

Thanks for listening!

Please share the show with anyone who may enjoy it. We'd love it if you'd leave us a 5 star review wherever you're listening- it helps listeners find the show and we read every review.

If you'd like to submit an "Untangle This" question, a comment, or an episode idea-- Email us:

realoveridealpod@gmail.com

Vanessa is available to consult professionally with individual clients. If you'd like to work with Vanessa , reach out here:

https://vanessagorelkin.com/contact-us#12398ed6-3711-4e15-ae41-4711059fd6ab

If you'd like to read about Vanessa's background, treatment perspective and techniques, or other handy information about her practice, check out her Psychology Today profile here:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/vanessa-gorelkin-scottsdale-az/809467

In this episode of Real Over Ideal, host Vanessa Gorelkin explores the concepts of yin and yang as they relate to self-care, balance, and personal growth. She discusses the importance of recognizing one's tendencies towards action (yang) or receptivity (yin) and offers practical suggestions for achieving a harmonious balance in daily life. The episode also addresses a listener's question about work-life balance, providing evidence-based strategies for creating boundaries and transitions between work and personal time. Ultimately, Vanessa emphasizes that balance is a journey of awareness and self-compassion, rather than a destination of perfection.

Takeaways
The tension between doing and being is something a lot of us wrestle with.
Balance between yin and yang produces harmony.
Neurodivergent individuals often feel these tensions more intensely.
Identifying your own tendencies is the first step to balance.
Small shifts can create ripples of balance over time.
Saying no is an act of self-care.
You do not need neurosurgery, just awareness and intention.
Balance doesn't mean every day is perfectly equal.
The journey itself can be comforting and exciting.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Yin and Yang in Life

02:58 The Balance of Doing and Being

07:14 Identifying Personal Tendencies

07:58 Practical Suggestions for Balance

11:14 Listener Question: Achieving Work-Life Balance

Link to Severed Podcast:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/severed-the-ultimate-severance-podcast/id1660658805

14:21 Embracing the Journey of Balance

Thanks for listening!

Please share the show with anyone who may enjoy it. We'd love it if you'd leave us a 5 star review wherever you're listening- it helps listeners find the show and we read every review.

If you'd like to submit an "Untangle This" question, a comment, or an episode idea-- Email us:

realoveridealpod@gmail.com

Vanessa is available to consult professionally with individual clients. If you'd like to work with Vanessa , reach out here:

https://vanessagorelkin.com/contact-us#12398ed6-3711-4e15-ae41-4711059fd6ab

If you'd like to read about Vanessa's background, treatment perspective and techniques, or other handy information about her practice, check out her Psychology Today profile here:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/vanessa-gorelkin-scottsdale-az/809467