We're back finally after reading the third piece of shit "written" by Kevin J. Anderson for his Jedi Academy trilogy, 1994's Champions of the Force. The previous two were bad and this one is also bad, and we discuss why! Topics include the New Republic abdicating all legitimacy by not bothering to prosecute genocide, Luke's terrible pedagogy, and, for some reason, the utility of a four-armed nanny droid with synthetic flesh.

Content warnings include racism, misogyny, slavery, references to genocide, and physical violence.

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We're unfortunately back to Kevin J. Anderson's tedious Jedi Academy trilogy with the second installment, 1994's Dark Apprentice. The gang is unifed in our hatred of Kevin's writing and we're just really tired of his shit. Topics include Luke Skywalker's substitute teacher-ass Jedi instruction, Admiral Ackbar flying a plane into a skyscraper (really), and how politically cooked the New Republic is because they want to negotiate and co-exist with what's left of the Empire.

Content warnings include misogyny, racism, intimate partner violence, slavery, sexual assault, and references to genocide.

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We talk about 1994's The Courtship of Princess Leia by Dave Wolverton. Dave cooked with this one, honestly. There's some outrageous stuff in here but it's combined with genuinely some of the best writing we've encountered on this podcast so far. Topics include if Han is a Space Led Zeppelin guy while he's working in the garage, the psychosexual stuff going on with Dave regarding matriarchial societies where men are only kept around for breeding and to look pretty, and the sentience of rancors.

Content warnings include fatphobia, misogyny, enslavement, suicide. Also this story is about kidnapping your partner because you're afraid they're going to leave you for someone else.

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It stinks! We cover 1994's Jedi Search, the first of Kevin J. Anderson's Jedi Academy trilogy, and based on this one, we're in for a rough ride! Luke wants to restart the Jedi Order so he finds a couple of weirdos, Chewbacca and Han get stuck mining spice on Kessel for an evil frog man, and Lando goes off to the blob races (which include blob obstacle courses. Blobstacle courses, even). Topics include the role of dangerous red-haired women who are mean to the heroes in the Expanded Universe, how one such mean dangerous redhead girlbossed her way into an Imperial admiralship literally through posting online, and if it's a good idea to pluck your eyebrows out when you live on a lava planet.

Content warnings include racism, misogyny, sexual assault, and genocide.

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We discuss Kathy Tyers' very interesting 1993 novel The Truce at Bakura, our first standalone novel since Splinter of the Mind's Eye. Tyers is a fascinating figure, and she wrote a fascinating book that was fun to read! Topics include the redemption of Darth Vader as an allegory for Christian forgiveness, if Tyers' editor was pushing her to keep Gaeriel barefoot in every scene, and Luke's involuntary celibacy as a result of his Force powers.

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We conclude Big Tim's iconic trilogy with 1993's The Last Command. Topics include how you could escape an asteroid blockade of your planet, what exactly Mara Jade's duties were as the Emperor's Hand, and what Leia and Han's other picks for baby names were.

Content warnings include racism, colonialism, and general physical violence.

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The regret continues as we conclude Paul and Hollace Davids' horrible 1993 children's series. Somehow these books are even more insane than the first three. Topics include whether archaeologists can get ghosts from licking bones, the environmental tradeoffs often made by developing nations/planets while building their economies, and how much J.J. Abrams stole the plot of the sequel trilogy from these books.

Content warnings include racism, misogyny, anti-semitism, and ableism.

Check out our instagram page for the images from the books!

(There are some issues with specifically Ethan's audio in this one. We regret the error.)

Regrettably, we cover a trilogy of children's Star Wars books published in 1992 by married writing team Paul & Hollace Davids. These were not fun to read, but we had fun roasting them! Topics include the incredible racism of the 1980s Transformers cartoon, whether children deserve good books to read, the unfortunate stereotypes the Prophets of the Dark Side may be treading on, and droid misogyny.

Content warnings include misogyny, racism, and anti-semitism.

The media for this episode will be posted on our instagram page!