Is marriage still worth it today, or has commitment lost its value? In this episode of Penned in Ink, we take a direct and honest look at one of the biggest questions people are asking right now: Should you still get married? Drawing from over 30 years of marriage, our lived experience, and Melissa’s work as a professional counselor, we talk honestly about why so many people hesitate to commit and what marriage actually offers when it is built intentionally.

We don’t romanticize marriage, and we don’t dismiss its challenges. Instead, we explore the real emotional, social, financial, and long-term realities of commitment. From fear of losing independence to anxiety about divorce, from financial pressure to cultural skepticism, we unpack the doubts we hear every day and explain why a strong marriage can still be a powerful framework for building a meaningful life together.

This episode isn’t about convincing everyone to get married. It’s about helping you think clearly, ask better questions, and understand what commitment can look like when it’s healthy, mutual, and intentional.

💬 In this episode, we discuss:

• Why commitment and marriage feel riskier today than they did in the past
• The most common doubts we hear about marriage, including fear of divorce and loss of independence
• The difference between being married and simply living together
• Emotional benefits of long-term commitment and having a true partner
• Social and health impacts of marriage, especially for men
• Financial realities of marriage, including stability, shared goals, and long-term wealth
• Why marriage is not only for religious people
• The difference between staying married and building a strong marriage
• How healthy marriages model stability for future generations
• Why marriage can be a force multiplier when it’s built the right way

🎧 Listen if you are…

• Questioning whether marriage is still worth it
• Feeling hesitant about long-term commitment
• Curious about the real benefits and challenges of marriage
• Looking for honest, experience-based perspectives on relationships
• Wanting to build something that lasts rather than settling

Chapters

00:00 – Episode teaser

00:29 – Welcome and introduction

01:29 – Modern doubts about marriage

01:50 – Doubt 1: Fear of losing your independence

03:09 – Doubt 2: It’s just a piece of paper

03:25 – Doubt 3: Fear of divorce

04:49 – Doubt 4: Marriage is only for the religious

05:28 – The case for marriage

06:22 – Reason 1: Emotional benefits of marriage

07:54 – Reason 2: Social benefits of marriage

11:02 – Reason 3: Financial benefits of marriage

16:17 – Reason 4: Someone to grow old with

18:14 – Reason 5: Optimal structure to raise children

22:17 – Inked Moments: When Melissa questioned commitment

27:48 – Commitment beyond marriage

34:20 – Pen to Paper: How to weigh the benefits of marriage

38:29 – Closing thoughts

Ever have to make a big life decision? At some point we are all faced with life-defining decisions. In this episode, we take you inside the biggest decisions we have made across three decades together and show you why celebrating milestones is one of the most powerful tools for building long-lasting love. From cross-country moves and the decision to have more kids or not to eliminating debt and supporting our daughter through a life-changing medical diagnosis, we explore how shared decision-making strengthens trust, creates resilience, and deepens emotional connection. We also highlight the often-overlooked importance of celebrating small wins in your relationship, not just the major life events.

We share clear examples couples can learn from: how to evaluate major life choices, how aligned goals fuel momentum, and how celebration, big or small, reinforces the belief that you are building something meaningful together.

We start with a discussion around the real process behind our biggest joint decisions, including

• A cross-country move for a career opportunity
• Deciding if we wanted a third child and the emotional work behind the choice
• Leaning in to eliminate all debt, including our mortgage, and how it changed our family’s future

Next, we explore how celebrating milestones builds resilience and why couples must actively mark wins to reinforce connection. We highlight the impact of three big celebrations, including

• A 70s-themed 50th birthday celebration and the unexpected benefits of simply throwing a party
• Our 25th-anniversary trip to Scotland and the renewal that came from our adventure together
• Seeing our daughters graduate from college and launch into adult life, which felt like a huge win for us

We then share our most personal story to date when we discuss how resilience formed through earlier wins helped us navigate our daughter’s diagnosis with fascioscapulohumeral muscular dystrophy (FSHD).

💬 Key themes:

• Aligned decision-making builds trust. Major life choices become easier when couples evaluate trade-offs together using shared criteria, such as a long-term vision and emotional readiness.
• Celebration reinforces connection. Marking milestones creates positive emotional anchors that relationships can draw strength from in harder seasons.
• Resilience is built, not born. The work you do as a couple will equip you for the good times, which will prepare you for the storms we can’t predict.
• Financial clarity is relational clarity. Getting on the same financial page can eliminate stress and open doors for meaningful shared experiences.
• Small wins matter. Relationship growth often happens in daily moments of courage, communication, and new habits.

🎧 Listen if you are…

• Someone navigating major life decisions such as career moves, finances, or family planning, and want real examples of how couples make those choices together.
• Looking for practical ways to build resilience and strengthen your relationship before tough seasons arrive.
• Wanting to understand how celebrating milestones (big and small) can transform the emotional health of a long-term partnership.

Chapters

00:00 – Episode teaser

00:29 – Welcome and introduction

02:19 – Big Decision #1 – Moving cross-country for a career opportunity

06:03 – Big Decision #2 – To have another child or not

13:04 – Big Decision #3 – To fully get out of debt, and to live a debt-free life

16:48 – Inked Moments: Throwing Michael’s 50th birthday party

20:21 – Importance of celebrating milestones

23:25 – Big Milestone #1 – 25th Anniversary trip to Scotland

26:22 – Big Milestone #2 – Our children graduating from college

28:33 – Big Milestone #3 – A wedding celebration

31:02 – Story of resilience – Alexa’s diagnosis

32:40 – Impact of Alexa’s diagnosis on our relationship

38:55 – Pen to Paper: Celebrate the small milestones

45:12 – Closing thoughts

To learn more about facioscapulohumeral muscular dystrophy (FSHD) visit https://www.fshdsociety.org/

Let’s talk about “young love.” This could mean you are young and in love or that you are simply in the early days of your relationship. In this episode, we explore how early relationship habits set the stage for lifelong connection. Our long-lasting love started super early (in our teens!) and has grown and changed over the years.

We begin by identifying 10 potential areas of relationship conflict. Spoiler alert… they cover almost every aspect of our lives! And then we dive deeper into three of them: communication, time management, and shared responsibility. Through candid stories, humor, and hard-earned wisdom, we show how every couple can turn friction into growth.

Next, we explore how our abilities to manage and address conflict have grown over the years of our marriage. Our conversation spans decades of marriage from our twenties to our fifties. This longevity offers a rare window into how communication and conflict evolve over time.

We close with a lighthearted discussion of mistakes we all make, and are still making today, with the goal of letting you know that you are not unique in your struggle to manage conflict in your long-lasting love.

💬 Key themes:

• Communication and Misinterpretation: How the shift from face-to-face conversations to digital messaging has changed tone, timing, and understanding in relationships.
• Balancing Priorities in Early Love: Learning to manage school/work, extended family, and romance without making your partner feel secondary.
• Emotional Labor and Relationship Equity: Recognizing and sharing the invisible work that keeps relationships strong.
• Growth Through Decades of Change: How communication and conflict evolve across a lifetime of love and partnership.
• Humor, Reflection, and Practical Application: Using laughter and small daily actions to turn ordinary moments into lasting growth.

🎧 Listen if you are…

• In the early stages of a relationship or marriage
• Trying to understand how to communicate without misreading tone or intent
• Learning how to balance individuality and togetherness
• Curious how long-term couples adapt through each decade of life

Chapters

00:00 – Episode teaser

00:29 – Welcome and introduction

01:46 – Core areas of conflict in relationships

03:17 – Quick rundown of 10 identified areas of conflict

06:51 – Deep dive into communication style & emotional expression

11:40 – Deep dive into time management & prioritization

18:36 – Deep dive into emotional labor & relationship maintenance

23:48 – Inked Moments: Pet peeves from early days of living together

26:54 – How has our communication evolved over the years together?

40:34 – Common relationship mistakes and how to avoid them

47:18 – Pen to Paper: Address issues early

48:58 – Closing thoughts

How do you balance two careers, raise a family, and still stay deeply connected?

In this episode of Penned in Ink, we discuss the challenges and rewards of navigating dual careers over 30+ years of marriage. From the impact of a cross-country move and shifting financial roles to moments of imbalance and mutual support, we share how teamwork, flexibility, and shared vision have shaped our story of long-lasting love.

We explore Michael’s career in the tech industry, the decision to uproot our family for a career opportunity, and the lessons learned about work-life “imbalance” in the best possible sense. Melissa offers her perspective on stepping away from her counseling career to raise our twin daughters and the gratitude that came from being able to return to her profession with renewed purpose and stability.

Together, we explore how each season of marriage demands different strengths, how not keeping score keeps us aligned, and how shared goals keep our partnership thriving through every career chapter.

💬 Key themes:

• The Myth of Work-Life Balance: Why short-term imbalance is normal, and how couples can find balance over the long haul instead.
• Supporting Each Other’s Ambition: What it looks like to celebrate your partner’s career growth while staying connected as a team.
• Shared Goals, Shared Wins: The power of treating finances, responsibilities, and family milestones as “ours” instead of “mine” and “yours.”
• Communication Without Keeping Score: Navigating changing responsibilities at home and work without resentment or comparison.
• Building a Stable Foundation: Why stability, consistency, and adaptability matter more than perfection in long-lasting love.

🎧 Listen if you…

• Are balancing two careers and want to stay connected as a couple.
• Have ever wondered what “real” work-life balance looks like in long-term relationships.
• Or your partner are considering stepping back or switching careers and wants to talk through the impact on your relationship.
• And your partner are learning how to share goals, finances, and responsibilities without keeping score.
• Are in a season of career transition, parenting, or new beginnings, and need perspective on what matters most.

Chapters

00:00 – Episode teaser

00:29 – Welcome and introduction

02:40 – Michael’s Career Background

03:35 – How did you choose your career?

05:35 – How many different jobs have you had at your current company?

07:38 – How important is continual learning in your profession?

10:25 – Career milestones

13:48 – Benefits of a flexible work environment

15:50 – Impact of being the sole financial provider

28:14 – Transition back to a dual career family

38:28 – How career differences strengthen our relationship

45:04 – The power of combined resources

49:09 – The myth of work/life balance

50:25 – Pen to Paper: Support your partner’s ambitions

53:29 – Closing thoughts

In this episode of Penned in Ink, we explore how Melissa’s 20+ years as a clinical mental health counselor shape her views on relationships, communication, and long-lasting love.

From lessons learned through her work with hundreds of clients in sessions to moments of vulnerability at home, this honest and insightful conversation dives into what counseling can teach us about empathy, respect, and the everyday work of building a healthy relationship with your partner.

Melissa opens up about the most common struggles she sees in her clients, including miscommunication, the lack of respect for differences, and an imbalance in shared responsibilities. We explore how those same themes play out in our 30+ year marriage.

💬 Key themes:

• What a counselor sees most often in relationships
• Why communication and empathy are at the heart of lasting love
• How professional insights can improve personal relationships
• What “active” and “reflective” listening really mean
• Why gratitude is one of the most underrated tools for connection

🎧 Listen if you…

• Are struggling to fully communicate with your partner
• Want to get a better understanding of the different ways we communicate
• Are looking for tools to improve your own communication skills
• Want to gain a better appreciation of the role counseling can play in building relationship skills

Chapters

00:00 – Episode teaser

00:29 – Welcome and introduction

01:00 – Melissa’s career background

09:32 – The work of a counselor

12:45 – Common relationship challenges

23:22 – Career milestones

29:36 – How counseling skills help build relationships

35:18 – When counselors struggle too

41:40 – A deeper appreciation for our strong marriage

44:50 – Pen to Paper: Practice active and reflective listening

49:00 – Disclaimer - This podcast is not clinical advice

51:00 – Closing thoughts

In this episode of Penned in Ink, we open up about the early decisions that shaped our marriage; why we chose commitment over convenience, and how that choice set the tone for 30 years together.

From family influence to the expectations of our generation, we explore the real reasons we got married and how those reasons evolved over time. With humor, vulnerability, and a touch of nostalgia, we reflect on the difference between marriage and cohabitation, the vows that became second nature, and what it means to choose each other every day.

It’s an honest look at how our love matured from idealism and tradition to an intentional partnership.

💬 Key themes:

• The meaning of marriage beyond religion or tradition
• How upbringing and family shape relationship choices
• Why “stability” and “permanence” mattered in building the foundation of your love
• The hidden strength found in vows and shared goals
• How commitment can evolve into growth

🎧 Listen if you…

• Are navigating the difference between love and long-term commitment
• Grew up with different models of marriage or family stability
• Are questioning whether marriage still “means something” today
• Believe in love that lasts because it’s chosen, not just felt

Chapters

00:00 – Episode teaser

00:27 – Welcome and introduction

01:20 – Why did we choose marriage?

05:15 – Why marriage vs. cohabitation?

10:08 – Inked Moments: Our proposal story

15:05 – A 30+ year secret is revealed

17:37 – Marriage Isn’t Just for Religious People

21:38 – What is the foundation of our marriage?

25:59 – The Power of Vows & Shared Goals

30:20 – Puppy time with Ginger

32:46 – His Perspective, Her Perspective: How choosing commitment makes you stronger

42:51 – Pen to Paper: Discuss shared goals with your partner

47:41 – Closing thoughts

In this premiere episode, we share our story from a childhood soccer crush to a three-decade marriage built on commitment, resilience, and humor.

We open up about early struggles (balancing work, grad school, and finances), the moments that tested our relationship, and the mindset shifts that helped us build something lasting. The conversation sets the foundation for the Penned in Ink series: real stories, honest lessons, and a look at why commitment still matters in a world that often questions it.

💬 Key themes:

• How young love evolves into a lifelong partnership
• What “commitment” really means when life gets hard
• Finding purpose in your relationship story
• How humor, a belief in each other, and shared goals help couples last

🎧 Listen for:

• Candid moments about marriage in your 20s
• Why we started Penned in Ink
• An inspiring reminder that love stories worth keeping are written one intentional choice at a time.

Chapters

00:00 – Episode teaser

00:22 – Welcome to Penned in Ink

00:50 – The story of how we met

04:30 – Inked Moments: Early dating memories

09:16 – Early marriage struggles: balancing grad school, money, and family

21:19 – His Perspective, Her Perspective: Initial attraction

32:27 – Why we started Penned in Ink

46:49 – Pen to Paper: Visualizing what you want in a partner

49:21 – Closing thoughts