Do you ever feel like who you are is holding you back?

Can you really change your personality — or are you stuck with it for life?

Today, Jay sits down with award-winning journalist and author Olga Khazan, whose groundbreaking book Me But Better explores the science of personality change. As a staff writer at The Atlantic, Olga has spent years investigating what shapes who we are — and whether it’s possible to become more confident, resilient, and fulfilled by intentionally shifting our traits.

Jay and Olga explore the surprising research showing that personality isn’t fixed — and that with consistent effort, anyone can become a different version of themselves. Olga shares how she transformed traits like anxiety and self-doubt by applying science-backed tools and testing them in her own life.

They dive deep into how habits shape identity, why a strong “why” is essential for lasting change, and how the traits we envy in others might point us toward who we’re meant to become. They also unpack the difference between being “authentic” and being stuck — and why growth often looks like discomfort before it feels natural.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

How to Change Personality Traits You’ve Had for Years

How to Shift from Anxiety to Emotional Balance

How to Use Habits to Redefine Who You Are

How to Identify the Traits That Align with Your Goals

How to Stop People-Pleasing Without Becoming Cold

How to Make Growth Feel Authentic — Not Fake

True change doesn’t come from pretending to be someone else — it comes from becoming the person you were always capable of being. This episode is a powerful reminder that you’re not stuck. With intention, action, and the right mindset, you can grow into someone new.

With love and gratitude,

Jay Shetty

What We Discuss:

00:00 Introduction

02:08 Key Takeaways From Olga

03:03 Frustration As A Block

05:22 Research Says We Can Change Our Personality Traits

07:30 Why Do We Get So Stuck?

09:46 Is Personality Change Age Exclusive?

11:47 How Can We Change Our Personality?

17:34 Changing Habits Vs Personality Traits

24:31 How Long Does It Take To Change Personality Traits?

35:09 Gender Effects On Personality Traits

37:36 5 Personality Traits That Make Up Personality

41:35 Feeding Motivation For Change

51:46 How Can We Be More Extroverted?

54:04 Exposure Therapy For Introverts

56:56 How Personality Changes Affects The People Around Us

01:01:43 The Social Investment Theory

01:03:15 How Does The SIT Affect Relationships?

01:06:45 From Pessimism To Optimism

01:09:31 How People Pleasers Can Create Healthy Boundaries

01:14:35 Can Introverts Become Extroverts?

01:18:24 Can People With Depression & ADHD Change Their Personality?

01:21:25 Olga On Final Five

Episode Resources

Olga Khazan | Instagram

Olga Khazan | X

Olga Khazan | LinkedIn

Olga Khazan | Facebook

Me, But Better: The Science and Promise of Personality Change

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today, Jay dives into a feeling many of us know well: the sense that nothing in life is going the way we hoped. Whether your career feels stuck, your relationships feel off, or you’re just not where you thought you’d be by now. Jay reminds us that feeling stuck doesn't mean you've failed, but could be life giving you a moment to pause and reset. Jay explains that the way we experience reality depends on what we choose to focus on. When we're fixated on what's going wrong, we often miss the small signs that things are already starting to move forward.

Jay also challenges the idea that success is supposed to be linear or perfect. He reminds us that the people who seem ahead aren’t more talented, they just started sooner. Rather tha comparing ourselves to someone else’s timeline, Jay encourages us to focus on our own path and let go of the pressure to have it all figured out. Instead of trying to achieve something massive all at once, Jay encourages us to “shrink the vision, save the dream,” and take small, consistent steps that compound into real transformation. He reminds us that a plateau isn’t a setback, it’s a season of quiet growth that often comes right before a breakthrough.

In this episode, you'll learn:

How to Break Mental Overload with Movement

How to Take Action Before You Feel Ready

How to Stop Waiting for the Perfect Time to Start

How to Reframe Feeling Stuck

How to Build Momentum with Tiny Steps

No matter where you are in your journey, remember this: you’re not behind, you’re not broken, and you haven’t missed your chance. Feeling stuck doesn’t mean you’re failing, it means you’re in the middle of growth.

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

Join over 750,000 people to receive my most transformative wisdom directly in your inbox every single week with my free newsletter. Subscribe here.

What We Discuss:

00:00 Intro

01:06 Does It Feel Like Nothing's Working?

02:38 What is the Frequency Illusion?

04:39 Step #1: Stop Trying to Feel Motivated

10:04 Step #2: Break the Mental Spiral

12:07 Step #3: There is No ‘Right’ Time to Start

16:14 Step #4: Consistency Outlasts Talent

24:35 Step #5: Shrink the Vision, Save the Dream

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Do you struggle with self-doubt sometimes?

What helped you get through a tough emotional season?

Today, Jay sits down with award-winning rapper, actor, and activist Common for a deeply moving live conversation recorded at the legendary Chicago Theater. Known for his poetic lyrics and conscious artistry, Common opens up about his journey from a young boy on the South Side of Chicago to becoming an Academy Award, Emmy, and three-time Grammy winner. In this intimate conversation they explore the emotional and spiritual work behind his success. From heartbreak and rejection to healing and purpose, Common shares what it really took to become the man he is today.

Common shares personal stories of growth and transformation, starting with his childhood dream of becoming a professional basketball player and how he eventually found his voice through writing and music. He reflects on the moments that shaped his purpose, including the story of Emmett Till, which moved him to live with more intention. Common also opens up about the heartbreak that forced him to confront the ways he was dimming his light, and the daily spiritual practices that help him stay grounded today, like reading scripture, praying, practicing gratitude, and staying active.

Jay and Common also dive into what it means to be vulnerable in hip-hop, why self-love is the foundation for every other kind of love, and how trusting the divine plan can turn disappointment into direction. They explore how trusting a bigger plan can help turn setbacks into clarity, and share personal insights on setting boundaries, building real friendships, and staying connected to your highest energy.

In this interview, you’ll learn:

How to Transform Pain into Purpose

How to Stop Dimming Your Light in Relationships

Why Vulnerability is a Superpower in Creativity

How to Build Daily Practices for Spiritual Alignment

How to Trust God’s Plan, Even When It’s Painful

How to Attract Friendships that Match Your Frequency

Whether you're moving through heartbreak, looking for direction, or trying to reconnect with your purpose, this conversation is a powerful reminder that your story matters and you're right where you need to be.

With love and gratitude,

Jay Shetty

What We Discuss:

00:00 Introduction

01:13 Live In Chicago

02:15 Common Before the Fame

06:11 Jay On His Childhood & Upbringing

06:44 Pain As A Catalyst for Creativity

09:01 Proximity To Greatness Is A Motivation

10:11 Living Our Dreams To The Fullest

13:49 How to Trust God's Plan

16:46 Trust That There’s a Bigger Plan

22:19 Transitioning Between Careers

30:15 Attracting & Building New Friendships

36:18 Everyday Routine For Body & Mind Care

40:40 A Poem From the Audience

43:21 My New Favourite Colour

48:49 Pushing Through Fear As A Motivator

53:33 Letting Go and Letting God

55:26 Common On Final Five

Episode Resources:

Common | Website

Common | YouTube

Common | Instagram

Common | X

Common | Facebook

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.