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Here we are trying to grow up and get this adult thing right finally. This episode finds me getting all serious and domesticated. Life's lessons really seem to start taking shape in my life. I have support from a partner that hasn't really ever been there before, however, I still manage to screw it all up with a little help from some divine intervention. This episode has me leaving behind a lot of my past, but also never wanting it more at the same time. I put it all on the line, put it all on black, went all in........ and this time guys, it pays off!

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The back and forth is taking its toll. Will the Priscilla and Shana saga ever stop. All things in life are not terrible though. I gain a new baby niece, my heart grows BIG. Tonya finally puts me on a shelf, (well done) for the final time. Just when I think my family drama is over, Ann, my evil grandmother strikes again, and then one more time for good measure. As one life and era ends, another begins and Carolyn came along.

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Life just continues to prove that you never know what is around the next corner. In this episode, I start to find out who I am more as a person and what I want for my future. New Mexico proves to give me another life lesson on my strength and courage, while facing yet another life altering situation that involves me being held up at gun point. Then, when I thought I really made a good decision on choosing to date women, one of them opens my heart like never before, as the other makes me question my sanity.

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Death sure did seem like it had a place in my life fully now. It was coming at me from all sides, however, I somehow found a space to survive and not let it take me. Thanks to the love of a child, and the love of the people that finally chose me, I found the strength and perseverance to get to the next season of life. You can't choose the family you were birthed into, but you can sure as hell choose the one you surround yourself with.

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I finally get some justice, if that's what we want to call it. Just when it seems there might be some victories, I get dealt the two biggest blows of my life. Justin Dillingham breaks all our hearts, and then my mom destroys mine. Not do I just lose one of my best friends, I lose two of them in less than a year. Death was becoming my life.

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Just when you think your family can't suck anymore, they just keep mowing me over with the suck bus. This episode I confront my grandparents and they have to make some decisions. I of course, continue my unhealthy Shana spirals, and just when you think thinks cant get crazier, I start dating my brothers best friend. Why not right, it is probably going to turn out fine. You also get to find out why our justice system sucks, and fails the children over and over again in this country. Thanks for riding on my crazy train folks!

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I finish up high school in Shana fashion, learn what begging to be an adult all my life will get me, then I drop the, "oh hey, by the way mom, your brothers a creep" ATOMIC bomb on my family, all while starting to flirt with my sexuality, no big deal! This one ends with a sweet cherry on top though of finally having my honor defended. My brother is and will always be my HERO!

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This episode I really start to push limits in my life more. I use my anger in ways that are abusive to myself and others. There is more moving, relationships coming to an end, a little bit of teenage fun that led to guns being drawn........ and a whole lot of LOVE. #sexualabusesurvivor #childhoodtrauma #breakthecycle #teachyourchildren #survivor
#endsexualviolence #grief #healing