In this episode of Middle Fingers Up, I’m in conversation with Farida D, author of The Shit That Made Me a Feminist — a body of work that names the lived realities many women are taught to swallow quietly.

Out of respect for her safety, this episode is audio-only. Farida’s work — which centers women of color, power, rage, and structural inequality — does not allow her the privilege of visibility without risk. And yet, she has chosen not to stop. She continues to speak, write, and show up for women, even when doing so requires navigating the cost of being seen.

This conversation moves through the “shit” that made feminism unavoidable — the moments where being grateful was expected instead of being honest, where motherhood shocked the system, where rage became information, and where the bar for men ended exactly where it began for women.

We talk about:

Why we are all born feminist, long before we have language for it

How boys are given credit before they’re even born

Why we do not choose our privileges or our oppressions

The difference between having access to education but not access to safety

Why this work is about structures, not individual people

And why naming what’s happening is the first step to understanding it

This episode is a reminder to trust your rage, "to feel the fire already inside you"

There is space for all of us — but not without truth.

IG: @farida.d.author

🎧 Audio-only episode

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If you like what you hear please click on "subscribe" or "follow" - It's free and you will get notified when the newest episodes are posted! Check us out on Instagram, X, and YouTube @mfupodcast. Give feedback, middle finger recommendations as well as random thoughts to info@mfupodcast.com. Thank you for listening!

In the spirit of reconciliation, we acknowledge that we live, work and play on the traditional territories of the Blackfoot Confederacy (Siksika, Kainai, Piikani), the Tsuut’ina, the Îyâxe Nakoda Nations, the Métis Nation (Region 3), and all people who make their homes in the Treaty 7 region of Southern Alberta.

The one where we stop pretending everything’s fine just to keep the peace.

In this episode, I sit down with Kam Bassier (from Episode 136: “You’re Not Lazy, You’re Burnt Out”) to talk about a tension so many BIPOC adults are carrying right now:

Why are we — the kids of immigrant parents, BIPOC millennials and Gen Z — having conversations our families never could?
Why does naming pain feel like betrayal?
And what does breaking cycles actually look like in real life?

We talk about harmony culture in collectivist and immigrant families — where keeping the peace wasn’t about comfort, it was about survival and appearances. But when harmony is prioritized over accountability, the emotional weight doesn’t disappear. It gets stored in our bodies and shows up later as burnout, people-pleasing, numbing, substance use, overworking, resentment, and silence in our marriages and parenting.

This conversation isn’t about tearing our parents down.
It’s about understanding what they couldn’t take responsibility for — so we don’t keep carrying it, and so we don’t pass it on to our kids.

What we get into:

Gratitude and grief can coexist — you can honor the sacrifices and name the emotional gaps

Why “they did their best” often shuts down real healing

How choosing peace over accountability trains us to minimize ourselves

Why inner-child work isn’t cute — it’s necessary

Rest, boundaries, and feeling all emotions (not just “happy”) as acts of resistance

A raw moment about quitting weed — not because it’s bad, but because numbing became easier than feeling

Not everyone in your family will be ready for this work — and that’s okay. You don’t need permission to heal. The work may feel lonely, but it’s how cycles end and new ones begin.

One thing to take away:
You can love your family deeply and still choose healing over fake harmony.
The next generation is watching what we do with what we were handed.

Instagram: kambassier

Support the show

If you like what you hear please click on "subscribe" or "follow" - It's free and you will get notified when the newest episodes are posted! Check us out on Instagram, X, and YouTube @mfupodcast. Give feedback, middle finger recommendations as well as random thoughts to info@mfupodcast.com. Thank you for listening!

In the spirit of reconciliation, we acknowledge that we live, work and play on the traditional territories of the Blackfoot Confederacy (Siksika, Kainai, Piikani), the Tsuut’ina, the Îyâxe Nakoda Nations, the Métis Nation (Region 3), and all people who make their homes in the Treaty 7 region of Southern Alberta.

Taken from South Korea as a baby, removed from his culture, and told it’s for a “better life” that he "wasn't wanted". This is the reality behind many international adoptions.

In this episode, I speak with Moses, a therapist, advocate, and human being whose lived experience gives him a unique perspective on how 'adoption' functions as an industry of child trafficking. Through his work, he challenges the narratives that frame removal as rescue, and exposes how children are commodified, displaced, and erased for profit.

We explore commodification: turning human beings, culture, and lived experience into something that can be bought, sold, or managed, stripping away history and rights.

We also confront a common question: Isn’t it better to give an unwanted child a “good North American life”? Moses explains why this belief is a false narrative that assumes Western life is superior, erases the abuse many children experience, and leaves some struggling with trauma so severe that many have taken their own lives.

This episode challenges the fantasy, the brainwashing, and the language that normalizes global-scale harm, asking listeners to see 'adoption' for what it often is: a system that commodifies children and erases their histories.

Instagram: mosesafarrow

societyforadoptiontruth.org

thetruthguide.com

Support the show

If you like what you hear please click on "subscribe" or "follow" - It's free and you will get notified when the newest episodes are posted! Check us out on Instagram, X, and YouTube @mfupodcast. Give feedback, middle finger recommendations as well as random thoughts to info@mfupodcast.com. Thank you for listening!

In the spirit of reconciliation, we acknowledge that we live, work and play on the traditional territories of the Blackfoot Confederacy (Siksika, Kainai, Piikani), the Tsuut’ina, the Îyâxe Nakoda Nations, the Métis Nation (Region 3), and all people who make their homes in the Treaty 7 region of Southern Alberta.