Welcome to Men on Fire, a podcast about what it means to be a man.  Go on, Sam, get your ass over here. We're recording, mate. You ready? Are you? Yeah. We're on already. Yeah,  we're on already.  Is that because of a short time? Yeah. We're short of time today, mate. Short of time. So nice. Quickie today. You want a quickie, mate? It's a bit early for a quickie for me. Yeah, yeah. Um, but we'll do what we can. To be fair, if we've got 15 minutes. Yeah, it's not a quickie for me, so.  Yeah. Sorry about the noise in the background. We've got some diggers going, we've got very limited time. And we're going to talk about time. Yeah, yeah. So about time. Do you have enough time? No. Does anyone ever have enough time? Do you have enough time? God, no. It's really hard, isn't it? Sometimes it goes really slow. Didn't that time. Although I remember, like, being younger and having periods of my life where I felt. Wasted so much time. Yeah. Yeah, I think it's an older thing. Do you think as you get older, you start thinking, oh, shit, I think so. I mean, I remember at school holiday, six weeks would go on forever and ever and you think, oh, you know, I got forever, like here, you know, six weeks, stretch it out. And now it's like, gone in a blink of an eye. And, you know, it was like video games. I worked with a lot of young people. We talked about video gaming and stuff. Yeah. And I, I would probably be still partial to a video game, but where the fuck when am I doing that? What have you got? When am I doing that? Especially now. Like games, you have to. They're like little mini films, aren't they? You have to watch, like, scenes for ten minutes. I just can I just jump on something's head and make it explode really quickly? But yeah. Yeah. So time is pretty precious stuff, isn't it? Really? I think so, but then you've got to be careful. Because then. Because I get quite like,  not like restless. So if I, if I'm not doing anything, I'm like, I should be doing something. Yeah. I need to use this time. Yeah. But then if you're doing that sometimes you're not really. Just appreciating the moment that you're in, having downtime. And I mean, we've talked about it before we meet smelling roses and stuff, but, you know, it is important to have downtime and quiet time. It's important where you feel like you're doing stuff. I mean, I think with, you know, people feel like you've got to be doing something all the time, like jumping out of airplanes and parachuting and snowboarding and being busy and crazy and using the most of your time. But then you don't have those quiet time moments just to reflect. And yeah, um, they're really important too. So it's hard, isn't it? And then again, I guess that's individual because there probably are people with time on their hands and that's that's never a good. Well,  is that ever a good thing? I think if you haven't, if you haven't got it, you want it, you want it. But people that have got loads of times on their hands, I mean, I guess it's a bit like money. Well, if you haven't got it, you want it. And if you got lots and. Well, I was going to, I was going to say something a little controversial. That's, you know, quite a lot of people, a lot of time on their hands get up to things. Yeah. Crime? Drugs. Less. But then maybe the same with money. No, no. If you've got the money, you don't need the right to the crime. I mean, I haven't got time to do any drugs or crime or anything, so it's always time for drugs markets. Yeah. I'd love I know I would, I'd love time to even think about doing that. But yeah, it's hard, isn't it. It's, you know, work balance of work. We've talked about that stuff a lot, these things. And it does come down to time doesn't it? Time and money and love and things like that. It's so weird as well because time is like this rigid concept. You can time it. You can literally see it. You can watch it go past, you can categorize it, split it up. But the&

Welcome to Men on Fire, a podcast about what it means to be a man. There we go. We're recording,  I think. Yeah. We're recording. Yeah. Yeah, I think we're recording. So. Technology in this cold. We're about half an hour. We're about. No, we are technically. You said. We said we'd meet at nine. Yeah. It's now 55 minutes past. Yeah. And we've only just started. Yeah, yeah, we have an hour. We've got a lot of water under the bridge already. And quite often me and Sam, when we just end up chatting, we end up in the worlds too. Right. And then not recording it and then. Yeah, but then there's some sensitive information we probably would want to edit out quite a lot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So not that sensitive. We're not talking about the body again. No is in my car. The reason I brought up the time was because we were going to talk about time management. Oh, yeah. Oh, sorry. I missed the cue there. I missed the cue. You opened the door and I asked because we chose the subject again right at the start, about an hour ago and talked about everything else. Yeah. Time management box. How do you manage your time? Sometimes I don't know how I manage my time. Lack time, lack of management. Yeah, yeah I do all right with work and my oil work. My old job. I'm very good at that. I mean, that's getting busy now and I'm juggling plates with with that and family stuff. So. And with barbecue. So yeah. Time management is um, is is important. I do struggle with it, but I have to be effective really with, with a lot of it, especially with my oil work. I can't not be effective with time management with that. You know, you've got to plan. You've got to meet deadlines. You've got to do that. Do you find it easier with. Because I was I was thinking about this before we start talking the. So with time management, the bit I find hardest is when there isn't a clear answer, which is maybe more about decision making. But where should I be spending my time? Whereas actually with oil work or with me, with sessions like when people book a session, it's 11 to 12. I'm doing the session. That's what I'm doing, you know, and and even with things like sport, rugby, you know, a lot of blokes go into the Army and get something from that, that sort of there's no time management for me to do anymore. Everyone's telling me what to do. Yeah. But when you go, I find it hard. When it's like, okay, should I leave an hour early for work and pop in to see my mum and dad for a coffee? Because I've seen them for a while? Or should I spend half an hour playing with my son? Or actually, should I get there early so I'm more prepped for work, you know, or it's that kind of time management I find really hard. But I think there's like self time management where you have to be disciplined yourself and you've got like a slot of time. That's the one. I'm sure that that one, um, I can be quite good at that. But I know I do my best work when kind of when my back's against the wall. So. Right. Writing the books, I. You have to write in my barbecue books. You have to be stacking up recipes ready. You have to be working. Working. But then bringing it all together and writing it up, I literally would just sit down for a few days solid bang bang bang bang bang just before the deadline even. But I would have been completely screwed if I hadn't have had that background of work ready. But I know I've got to bring it all together. That bang bang bang I and I like my oil work. I can't do that because there's like steps you have to to hit each step. So you can't, you know, you've got to have those steps in in order. And probably my biggest frustration quite often is other people, their interaction with you and that they might not have the same that time. They're not on my time management. And that's okay. I've got okay with that. But, you know, it's not just work, it's family. It's, you know, it's it's lots of things that fit in time and it's trying to get the time sometimes for you as well.

Welcome to Men on Fire, a podcast about what it means to be a man. Hello, hello, hello. Welcome to Men on Fire. Do that again. Yeah, we're we're live, mate. We're live with my colleague, podcast recorder and friend. Definitely friend. Yeah. How are you doing, mate? How you do, mate. Good. Well, this is first. Yeah. And also what's funny about this podcast is when we record, sometimes we've been yammering on to each other for about two hours. So then we know exactly as soon as I press the record button, we go, right. What should we talk about? Yeah, we kind of covered it all. We talk about friendships though. Yeah, yeah. And I would say that is a a bonding factor in our friendship Marcus just kind of. Yeah. Offload to each other. Yeah I think it's important to have somebody you can talk to and mate and, you know, not just with the mental health thing. It's men's mental Health Month in November. People are growing with stashes and stuff. And yeah, isn't that that's for ball cancer isn't it. No. That's is it. No Movember. Oh, that's what I meant. Grow mustaches. Remember Movember? Is it for testicular cancer? Is it? Is it not? I don't know, one of us is going to sound bad, isn't it? I mean, they're both, you know. I know it's men's mental health month, November, so. Yes, maybe I'm getting confused that two. No, I think it's both. Both? Yeah. Anyway, we've established that we don't know. Anyway, most most men have got balls anyway, so. Well, most men think with their balls sometimes at some point in their life. So, you know, perhaps it's one and the same. Yeah. Yeah. Health and head health. Yeah. But yeah, friendship's really important, isn't it. You know, I obviously I value you as a friend and you know that's that's amazing. And I also believe sort of friendships come and go a bit. And I'm not saying I'm going to leave you. Yeah. Yeah. But they do. And it's it's hard sometimes, you know, you can be in the moment with and going back to podcasts. What was it a couple where we were in the moment. You can be in the moment with friends and sometimes it's just not  I don't know, lives move on and different. And, you know, I look back and I've got very few friends from, you know, like university days and early on days and, you know, I'd rather have a group of sort of tight knit friends rather than a few people who I sort of stay in touch with who are like friends. Yeah, 1s yeah, it is hard, isn't it? Because I think. Quite often you look at a relationship and then if you drift apart or you're not as close as you were, that's always seen as a negative. But actually I think about it as well. That was a really good time. We had together when we saw each other all the time. But then circumstances change. Life changes. You still touch base every now and again with my uni mates. We're quite close, but we don't really speak to each other. We just meet up for birthdays. But when you're there, it's like nothing's happened. You like back in the room? Yeah, I think that's a bit of a difference with blokes. I mean, talking, you know, with wife and female friends and stuff. Female friendships can be a bit more intense and, you know, you've got to be a bit more  keeping up. And, you know, that's part of the, you know, if I go out with like a mate I haven't seen in a few years, you go out and have a beer and, you know, it's like nothing's sort of happen. You don't have to force it. I find, you know. Yeah, it just is just there. And, you know, it's that realization that actually may be leading different lives, but you've got common sort of history. You've had a few beers together at some point, and you don't need to force it. I don't, don't think. There's also I think there's like things you go through in your life that change or that you don't do anymore. And sometimes maybe particularly with blokes, maybe not, but. It's like you played rugby together, so you saw each other week in, week out for years, but now you don't play rugby. S