Masking and Being a Neurodivergent Father
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Masking and Being a Neurodivergent Father
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Join Shane Thrapp of Creating Order From Chaos and Braden Young of Empower ADHD Solutions as we dig into masking—the pressure to perform a version of yourself that isn't really you to hide your ADHD or Autism. We talk about where masking starts (the "be a man" messages, the bootstrap CEO myth), how it shows up in our relationships and kills intimacy, and why we accidentally teach our kids to mask when we do it ourselves.
Learn about the difference between strategic masking and masking out of fear, how to unmask safely with your partner without dropping it all at once, and why naming what's happening ("Dad's brain is having a loud day") teaches your kids more about emotional regulation than "I'm fine" ever will.
Don't miss our conversation on how masking hits boys and girls differently, why emotions like sadness and overwhelm aren't "soft"—they're human, and how to break the cycle so your kids don't spend decades hiding who they are.
You can find Shane Thrapp at www.creatingorderfromchaos.com
You can find Braden Young at www.empoweradhdsolutions.com
00:18 Welcome to The DadDHD Podcast + Today’s Topic: Masking as Neurodivergent Dads 02:00 Where the Mask Starts: “Be a Man,” Don’t Ask for Help, and Internalized Pressure 05:46 Provider Expectations, Burnout, and the Hidden Cost of Performing ‘Normal’ 07:04 Masking at Home: Why It Damages Intimacy and Relationships 09:01 Dating & Persona-Building: When People Fall for the Mask, Not You 10:24 Sensory Overload, Sex, and Having the Hard Conversations (Not Mid-Moment) 14:12 Unmasking Safely: Let the Real You Out Gradually with Clear Communication 16:42 How Parents Teach Kids to Mask (and Why It Hits Boys & Girls Differently) 22:31 Breaking the Cycle: Modeling Emotional Regulation and Naming What’s Happening 26:30 Strategic Masking vs. 24/7 Masking: Making It a Choice, Not a Default 30:37 Authenticity with Kindness