If you’ve ever called yourself a “low-maintenance friend” but secretly crave deeper connection… this conversation is for you.

We talk about…

-Why the “low-maintenance” trend quietly excuses neglect.

-Loneliness as an epidemic—and how we’re drifting from community.

-Medium-maintenance friendships: presence, checking in, reciprocity.

-Healthy effort vs. toxic draining (discernment matters).

-Behavior checks: stop flaking, raise emotional awareness, be curious.

-Life stages & growing apart: naming why connection feels harder now.

-Faith lens: God gave us each other—community is sacred stewardship.

Let’s go Beneath The Seams!

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00:00 Coming Up!

00:24 Beneath The Seams manifesto (why we go below the surface)

01:40 Welcome back — what this space is & why this topic now

03:02 The trend: why “I don’t require much” is quietly isolating us

05:05 Maintenance analogies: nails, car, faith → relationships

06:42 Personal truth: feeling detached despite having “friends”

09:18 Growing apart as life changes (distance, kids, routines)

11:06 The danger of “low” settings → from monthly to yearly to… strangers

12:55 Naming what you need: depth as a love language

15:08 Loneliness online & IRL; post-pandemic isolation habits

17:10 Healthy effort vs. toxic draining (use discernment)

18:36 The medium-maintenance baseline:

20:28 Presence IRL & putting the phone down

21:44 Reciprocity confession: “Do I have friends because I maintain them?”

23:12 Follow the nudge: when someone crosses your mind, call/text

24:35 The “365-day rule”: are we still friends if we haven’t spoken in a year?

26:04 “Maturity” as a mask for neglect

27:22 Faith lens: Genesis 2:18, Proverbs 27:17, disciples lived *together*

29:05 Behavior checks: stop flaking; the cost of community is inconvenience

31:02 Emotional awareness & curiosity: be in your friends’ business (lovingly)

32:28 Personal commitment: leave the house more; invite community in

34:00 Open invite: are you isolated or thriving in friendship?

35:12 Reviews/help the show grow + share with a friend

36:05 Closing blessing — and see you next week

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Resources & Scriptures Mentioned

Genesis 2:18 — “It is not good that man should be alone.”

Proverbs 27:17 — “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”

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Let's stay connected...

/ kalariggins

I’m Kala! Host, content creator, and storyteller.

I create content and conversations that inspire women to stop hiding, stop apologizing, and show up as their full selves.

Here, we talk about the messy middle of life and creativity — the doubt, the breakthroughs, the moments that make you want to quit, and the ones that keep you going. (all while looking GOODt!)

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Connect with me:

Podcast Website: [https://beneaththeseams.com/](https://beneaththeseams.com/)

Instagram + TikTok @kalariggins

Contact:Kala@KalaRiggins.com]