What hard conversation are you avoiding right now?

In this solo episode of Leadership Blueprints, BJ reflects on Valentine’s Day, Presidents’ Day, and even the Winter Olympics to unpack one central leadership tension: compassion and accountability must coexist. Real leadership is not choosing between love and standards - it is holding both.

Through presidential vignettes, youth sports culture, and lessons from business and family life, BJ introduces a practical three-part framework for developing leaders: Compassion, Clarity, and Courage. This episode challenges listeners to examine whether they are truly leading with compassion - or simply avoiding discomfort.

Key Points From This Episode:

• Why growth - for you and your team - is determined by the number of uncomfortable conversations you’re willing to have.

• The difference between compassion and comfort, and why lowering the standard helps no one.

• Lessons from presidential leadership such as Lincoln’s empathy paired with accountability, Washington’s self-discipline and moral restraint, and Roosevelt’s belief that high standards are a form of respect.

• The three-part leadership blueprint: compassion, clarity, and courage

• What Norway’s youth sports philosophy and Olympic success reveal about balancing joy and standards in development.

Quotes:

“Empathy does not eliminate accountability. Empathy clarifies it.”

“Low expectations are often disguised as compassion - but they are actually indifference.”

“Care deeply. Demand greatly.”

“Are you leading with compassion - or hiding behind it?”

What does it mean to create a safe space to fail?

During this episode, we are going outside of the built environment to speak to a different kind of inspiring leader in his field. Paul Donovan is the CEO and Head Coach of Jersey Wahoos, a USA swimming club program located in Mount Laurel, New Jersey. He is a champion of self-compassion and kindness. In this conversation, Paul shares how to balance compassion with accountability, navigate parental pressure, and prevent burnout in youth sports. He reflects on quiet leadership, the real mission behind his coaching that goes far beyond the swimming pool, and why leading by example and giving generously of one’s time is essential as a youth sports coach.

There are so many principles for life that can be learned through sports, and today’s episode is a deep dive into how, with the right coach and leadership, participating in them can really be a last bastion of discipline in challenging environments. Thanks for listening.

Key Points From This Episode:

• What it looks like to balance compassion and accountability while leading young people.

• Causes of burnout in youth sports.

• Building awareness of the organization while remaining focused on celebrating internal successes.

• Leading by example in coaching and youth sports.

• How youth sports can be the final bastion of discipline in challenging environments.

Quotes:

“I think burnout is an emotional state of mind, not a physical state of mind.” — Paul Donovan

“I believe in quiet leadership. You know the old saying parents had about kids is that they should be seen but not heard? I think leaders should be heard but not seen.” — Paul Donovan

“Our actual goal for the kids isn’t for them to win a medal at the world championships. Our actual goal with them all is to open up doors that are otherwise unattainable.” — Paul Donovan

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Paul Donovan on LinkedIn

Paul Donovan on Instagram

Jersey Wahoos Swim Club

The Power of Habit

The Five Dysfunctions of a Team

Steve Magness

The Sport Parent on X

Leadership Blueprints Podcast

Leadership Blueprints Podcast on YouTube

MCFA

MCFA Careers

BJ Kraemer on LinkedIn

Consider your funeral – what is being said in your eulogy, and what do they thank you for? Are they praising your achievements and accomplishments or memorializing your character and the relationships you nourished?

In this solo episode, BJ challenges listeners to define the leader you are trying to become, not just at work, but at home, too! You’ll hear all about the inspirational books (and soldier) that inspired this episode, the danger of being too focused on achievement, the importance of building character, and so much more! BJ even dives into the power of approaching the world from a place of joy.

To hear all this and be inspired to challenge the way you’re forming your character, be sure to tune in now!

Key Points From This Episode:

• The danger of getting too focused on achievement.
• Why character is far more important than strategy.
• The importance of being a good leader at work and at home.
• Why achievement is really about learning and becoming.
• Bringing a posture of joy to how you approach the world.

Quotes:

“It’s easy to get focused on achievement.” — BJ Kraemer

“When I talk about joy, sustainability, and – leadership effectiveness, none of them start with strategy; they all start with character.” — BJ Kraemer

“Your character is what lasts.” — BJ Kraemer

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Unshakeable

Black Hawk Down

Steve Young Interview with Tim Ferriss

Gary Gordon

Leadership Blueprints Podcast

Leadership Blueprints Podcast on YouTube

MCFA

MCFA Careers

BJ Kraemer on LinkedIn