It's Christmas Eve, and I'm recording this straight into my phone. My microphone is broken, but I'm showing up anyway, because sometimes that's what it looks like.

In this episode, I'm talking about:

• ​Why I'm sitting out Detty December this year and what it means to be out of sync with everyone else's energy
• ​The layer I'm holding this week: my first Christmas without my sister
• ​Why we shouldn't wait for January 1st to start—why Christmas Eve is actually the perfect day to begin
• ​What "starting today" looks like in practice
• ​Why showing up doesn't have to look perfect

This is a conversation about honoring your season, carrying what you're carrying, and starting before you're ready.

However you're spending today, whether you're celebrating, grieving, or somewhere in between, you're exactly where you need to be.

📚 Books mentioned:

• ​Atomic Habits by James Clear
• ​The 12 Week Year by Brian P. Moran and Michael Lennington

📱 Connect with me:

Instagram: Steph.ee

Substack - feelslikesteph

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If this episode resonated with you, please share it with someone who needs to hear it. And if you're holding something heavy this week, know that you're not alone.

I used to be the gym girl. Five times a week. Two years straight. And then my sister died. And I stopped being that person.

In this episode, I take you through my struggle with becoming, the gym I can't get to, the writing that stops and starts, the surprising journey of this audio diary.

The gap between who I want to be and who I actually am on a Tuesday morning when everything feels impossible.

This isn't about having it figured out. This is about the messy middle. About learning that becoming isn't perfection or discipline, it's just the trying.

Even when you fail. Even when you're inconsistent. Even when you're not the person you thought you'd be.

Maybe the becoming is just the trying. And maybe that's enough.

New segments in this episode:

• ​ The Layer I'm Holding This Week
• ​ Chidera’s musings
• ​ What I'm Learning

Connect with me:

Instagram: Steph.ee

Substack: https://substack.com/@feelslikesteph?r=qrb41&utm_medium=ios&utm_source=profile

What's your gym? Send me a voice note, let's become together.

In this first episode of Layers of Us, I take you back to July 2025, the moment my life split into "before" and "after."

My sister Chidera died five months ago. She was 27 years old. And in this episode, I'm sharing something I've never shared publicly before: her voice.

You'll hear a recording of us together. Talking. Laughing. Being sisters. Before everything changed.

And you'll hear me in the aftermath?processing the grief, the loss, the weight of carrying someone's memory while trying to build a life forward.

This episode is about the "before and after" divide. It's about learning that time isn't infinite.

This is the story of why Layers of Me exists. Why some stories are too big for captions. Why grief and healing deserve more than perfectly curated posts.

This is an embodiment of an audio diary.

Welcome to Layers of Me. The beginning of after

TOPICS EXPLORED:

• ​The moment that changed everything
• ​Grief in the aftermath of sudden loss
• ​Finding voice when you feel voiceless
• ​The "before and after" divided
• ​Honoring the people who believed in us
• ​Why this podcast exists

CONTENT WARNING: This episode contains discussions of grief, loss, and the death of a loved one. Please listen with care.

CONNECT WITH ME:

Instagram: Steph.ee

Substack: feelslikesteph

If this episode resonated with you, please leave a review and share it with someone who might need to hear it.