Traver Boehm, founder of the Uncivilized Men's Movement, two-time TEDx speaker, men's coach, and author of Today I Rise, Man Uncivilized, and 28 Days in Darkness, joins Dr. Tara Perry to explore the root causes of male suffering, why healing men is the key to ending harm caused by men, and what it actually took to spend 49 days alone in complete darkness.

Traver draws on his background in MMA, professional bodyguarding, and Traditional Chinese Medicine to make a case for a new masculinity, one that is raw, relational, and built on brotherhood rather than isolation.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

00:03 Toxic masculinity messaging has left a generation of young men ashamed of natural desire.
03:35 Ending harm caused by men requires first addressing the pain that men are carrying.
07:38 Men in crisis stay silent because every outlet has taught them nobody cares.
10:34 Traver chose a 28-day dark retreat to discover who he was beyond physical achievement.
16:25 On his first retreat, the facility had never let anyone attempt more than three days.
22:41 Men are purpose-driven, and telling them they are not needed creates dangerous disconnection.
30:51 Owning your mistakes and attacking your resistance makes 90% of relationship problems disappear.
36:08 Brotherhood and high relational standards are the key to welcoming men back to the table.
38:40 Men do their best when given a place to be raw, real, and in relationship with their anger.
01:01:15 The four pillars Traver teaches: curiosity, physical competency, skill development, and relationship.

RESOURCES MENTIONED

Man Uncivilized — Traver's men's movement, coaching, and community hub 28 Days in Darkness — Traver's latest book on his first dark retreat experience Today I Rise — Traver's book for navigating divorce and profound personal loss Traver Boehm on Instagram — @traverboehm

Work with Dr. Tara Perry

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