3. Dating After Divorce: Showing Up Healed, Not Broken
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Dating after divorce is a whole different universe, especially in this day and age. In this episode, Raquel gets real about her own journey reentering the dating world at 48 after nearly two decades of marriage.
This isn't about jumping into dating to fill a void or expecting someone new to fix what your ex broke. It's about doing the emotional work first, showing up authentically, and understanding that healing is non-negotiable if you want a healthy relationship.
Raquell shares her transformation from sending her "representative" on dates in her twenties to showing up at 55 as her fully authentic self—opinions, attitude, beliefs, and yes, even cussing included. If someone doesn't like the real you? That's okay. They're just not your person.
In this episode, you'll learn:
- Why you can't build a healthy new relationship with unhealed wounds
- The difference between dating divorced men vs. never-married men
- How modern dating (apps, ghosting, breadcrumbing) has completely changed the game
- The importance of taking responsibility for your part in your marriage, without shame or self-blame
- How unhealed trauma shows up in new relationships (jealousy, fear, control, hypervigilance, or emotional shutdown)
- The 4 essential questions to ask yourself before you start dating again
- What it means to show up authentically without shapeshifting for someone new
The truth: If you don't examine who you were in your marriage, you will bring that version of yourself into your next relationship. And you don't want to repeat those cycles.
Plus, Divorce Hotline Q&A:
Raquel answers a listener question about how to organize proof of coercive control so it's heard in divorce court. Her advice? Stop telling the entire story at once. Courts respond to patterns, not narratives. Learn her simple system for documenting control in a way that's legible and credible.
You can book a 90-minute Divorce Strategy Call: https://herdivorceacademy.com/divorce-hotline
Connect with Raquell on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/herdivorceacademy/
Have a Dear Raquell question you want answered on the podcast?
📩 Email your anonymous story to raquell@raquellbartoncoaching.com
