In this episode of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered, guest Kate, a former juvenile court attorney, shares her journey as a foster and adoptive mother of six. She discusses the challenges and rewards of transracial adoption, the importance of openness and communication, and the realities of parenting children with trauma. Kate also highlights the value of support networks and introduces her children’s books designed to help foster kids understand their experiences. Her candid insights offer guidance and encouragement to current and prospective foster families.

“We feel very strongly that if you're going to adopt transracial, you need to make sure you live in a diverse community. That your religious home is diverse, that your friends are diverse.” — Kate

What You Will Learn:

• Personal and professional journey into foster care and adoption
• Family dynamics involving biological, adopted, and foster children
• Experiences with transracial adoption and its challenges
• Importance of openness in adoption and maintaining connections with birth families
• Navigating identity and relationships within a transracial family
• The impact of trauma on children and parenting strategies
• The significance of sibling relationships and support in blended families
• Resources created to assist children in foster care with understanding their experiences
• Emotional complexities of fostering, including the bittersweet nature of reunification
• The necessity of community and support systems for foster parents

Timestamps:

• Podcast Introduction (00:00:00)
• Meet Kate: Professional Background & Family Overview (00:00:27)
• Adoption and Early Parenting Experiences (00:01:20)
• Transition to Fostering (00:02:22)
• Parenting as an Older Parent: Pros and Cons (00:03:36)
• Surprises in Parenting, Adoption, and Bonding (00:05:22)
• Sibling Dynamics and Family Evolution (00:07:35)
• Transracial Adoption: Family Makeup & Community (00:10:01)
• Parenting Transracially: Community, Racism, and Support (00:11:02)
• Handling Public Comments and Teaching Kids to Respond (00:16:14)
• Children’s Perspectives on Adoption and Openness (00:20:01)
• Open Adoption and Maintaining Birth Family Relationships (00:22:04)
• Navigating Emotions in Open Adoption (00:23:24)
• Family Communication and Openness (00:26:05)
• Fostering Sibling Bonds and Family Unity (00:27:21)
• Managing Trauma and Parenting Foster Children (00:30:46)
• Apologizing and Repair in Parenting (00:34:04)
• Kate’s Children’s Books for Foster and Adopted Kids (00:36:15)
• Advice for Prospective Foster Parents (00:40:27)
• Episode Wrap-Up and Resources (00:42:27)

Learn more about Kate’s Children’s Books for Foster and Adopted Kids through her website.

Episode Resources:

• Catch up on previous episodes of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered here: https://chsnc.org/about/podcast/
• For more information about Children’s Home Society of North Carolina, visit: chsnc.org
• To be a guest on the podcast, email: inreallifepodcast@chsnc.org
• To learn more about foster care, visit: https://chsnc.org/adoption-and-foster-care/get-started/
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