What if God’s boundaries for sexuality aren’t meant to shrink your life, but to protect your heart and deepen your belonging?

Many people feel torn between their faith and their sexuality, wondering if there is any real place for them in the church. Others want to hold to a historic Christian sexual ethic but aren’t sure how to do that without hurting people they love.

In this conversation, Liza and Pastor Tim slow down a charged topic—human sexuality—and ask what it really means to follow Jesus here with both conviction and compassion. They explore why Christians believe God gets to “set the rules,” and how those boundaries are actually given for our good, not as punishment. Together they talk about our culture’s hyper sexualization of identity, the pressure to be a “sexual being” to feel fully human, and how Jesus models a full, joy-filled life without sexual expression. They also wrestle with the deep hurt many experience around this topic and ask what it looks like for the church to be a place of real belonging for people whose sexual attractions or experiences don’t fit the traditional mold. Throughout, they return to the leveling truth that all of us have “bent the rules” and are utterly dependent on the tender mercies of Christ.

Key Takeaways

• We all bend the rules. Tim reframes the conversation by starting with our shared brokenness: every one of us has tried to take charge of our own good in the area of sexuality rather than trusting God.
• God’s boundaries are for our good. Rather than arbitrary lines, Scripture’s limits on sexual expression are described as loving protection—for our own hearts, for others, and for our relationship with God.
• Sex is not the definition of a full life. They challenge our culture’s belief that you’re not fully human without sexual expression, holding up Jesus as the clearest example of a whole, abundant life without sex.
• Belonging in the church is for everyone. Tim urges those who experience same-sex attraction or feel “at war” with their sexuality not to walk away, insisting the church deeply needs their presence, friendship, and gifts.
• Love tells the truth and stays. Liza and Tim name the real grief, shame, and trauma many carry around sexuality, and call the church to stay close—to listen, to grieve with, and to walk alongside people in their questions while still pointing to Jesus’ way.

Action Steps

· Ask Jesus for His eyes. Pray for the grace to see every person—whatever their sexual story—as someone Christ loves and died for, before you see an issue or a “side.”

· Reflect on your own “rule-bending.” Instead of starting with other people’s choices, honestly name where you’ve taken charge of your own good in this area and bring that to Jesus for forgiveness and healing.

· Reframe God’s boundaries. Spend time considering where you’ve seen God’s “rules” protect you from harm—sexual or otherwise—and ask Him to help you trust His design as an expression of love, not restriction.

· Move toward, not away from, hurting friends. If someone in your life feels excluded or at war with their sexuality, reach out, listen more than you speak, and communicate clearly that they have a place with you and in Christ’s church.

Stay in community when it’s complicated. If you’re wrestling personally with sexuality and faith, resist the urge to disappear; instead, seek out a trusted pastor, mentor, or small group where you can process honestly and be loved in the tension.