I never felt i could meditate, that i wasn't built to sit still and know God. When i was younger i attended candlelight Christian meditation practices and always attempting to be quiet, i would fall into a deep sleep, snore slightly, disrupting the session for the other attendees, with the priest kindly suggesting meditation isn't for me, at least not there.

Over the years i have had mentors and sponsors who have attempted to help me find the promised land, but its always been a stretch too far for me.

When my children were born there was a feeling of an obligation to introduce my children to a concept of God, it was my thinking i wouldn't force it on to them as they grew up but it would mean as they got older they could make a fair decision for themselves.

This let me back to Christian meditation which involved focusing on scripture and this was something i could manage.

I suffered with a racing mind, stinking and faulty feeling and so there was no chance i would ever have a void in my thoughts, so being allowed to fill it with something good and holy worked for me.

Later on, i got talking to a Protestant minister who informed me; being capable of focusing on depression or anxiety for long periods was the work of an expert meditator. The fact that i could focus my mind, heart and feelings on either depression or anxiety for long periods, meant i was an expert at meditation.

He suggested each time i felt the call of the depression or anxiety, i was to focus on all things gratitude/

To simply think of every person, place and thing, all my abilities, education, my senses, my skills, my family, friends, favorite people, my phone, a roof over my head, being alive, to really focus on every little thing to the big things why i am so lucky.

I learned the most common form of meditation is 'TO WORRY'

So, in your darkest hour, as a dog might worry on a bone, you worry on all things, thoughts and feelings.

In no time at all you will find a change in how you feel and think about you and your situation.

Being an expert on meditation, you now know its up to you to decide what you will focus your meditation of thoughts and feelings on

We can be our own worst enemy or best friend...