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How To Coach Yourself

How To Coach Yourself

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 The most powerful influence in your life isn’t a mentor, a parent, a coach, or any one else you look to for guidance. The most powerful influence on you is…you. That voice inside your head is the voice you hear more than any other and it can either be your worst enemy or your biggest ally. The book we mention is Chatter by Ethan Kross and the podcast is The Allusionist. Need advice about something? Ask us here: ForcesOfEqual.com/Advice/ Transcript Pam: [00:06] You’re listening to Not Bad Advice, where our goal is to offer perspective that helps you improve one aspect of your life at a time. [00:13] I’m Pamela Lund. CK: [00:20] And I’m CK Chung. Pam: [00:22] And we hope that after listening, you’ll think, “Hey, that’s not bad advice!” [00:27] The most powerful influence in your life isn’t a mentor, a parent, a coach, or anyone else you look to for guidance. The most powerful influence on you is you. That voice inside your head is the voice you hear more than any other, and it can either be your worst enemy or your biggest ally. [01:01] We think at a speed that is equivalent to 4,000 words per minute. 4,000 words per minute. That seems impossible, but thoughts are more nebulous than speech. You can have a complete thought without hearing all of the words in your inner dialogue. So that’s why I said that we think at a speed that is equivalent to 4,000 words per minute. Not that we actually think 4,000 words per minute. [01:28] Not everyone has a personal narrator, constantly reminding them of everything they need to do and every weird thing that they’ve ever said, but most of us do have an internal monologue to some degree, even if we don’t hear all of the words we’re thinking. If yours is as active as mine, it probably sounds something like this: [01:49] What are we having for dinner tonight? I’m cold. I was just hot five minutes ago. You sound like a judgy know-it0all in this post. Did you reply to that text? Is that a bug or just fuzz? You were too short in that email. They’re going to think you were being a jerk. I need new jeans. Do we need earthquake insurance? [02:08] If you don’t have that going on in your head, you’re one of the lucky ones. I’m kidding, of course. I’ve made friends with the constant chatter in my head, but the idea of not being constantly interrupted by myself is appealing. CK: [02:20] That reminds me of a podcast episode of the Allusionist, about a woman who had a brain aneurysm while doing karaoke. When she woke up in the hospital, she had no internal monologue and was left with only around 40 words in her vocabulary. But she didn’t get scared or worried about what was happening to her because she didn’t have a voice telling her to be. She didn’t worry about whether she’d have another aneurysm or even if she had recovered from the first one. She was just completely present. [02:53] So she was probably in a state like people get into when they’re in a flow state or that they’re trying to achieve with meditation. So over time, her internal monologue returned and she eventually recovered her vocabulary and language skills, but she said that while it was gone, she felt very calm and peaceful Pam: [03:12] I can only imagine my inner dialogue is so active t
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