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Goldie Lookin Chain

Goldie Lookin Chain

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The biggest rap band in the UK try to remember the history of the GLC. Make no mistake, this ain’t no history lesson – it’s a full-on nostalgia bender with tales of gigs, gaffs, and celebrity run-ins from 25 years of absolute chaos. From taking on Japan to smashing bingo halls like proper legends, the lads spill all the deets. So expect mad stories, bad decisions, and bodily fluids galore. It’s fame, fortune, and f***-ups – all served up GLC style. You knows it for real!



GLC, podcast, history, music, anecdotes, fame, celebrities, humour, experiences, Newport, Japan, music, gigs, travel, experiences, band, memories, performances, poo, weed, fame, stories, made-up stuff


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  • Curry fantasies, kiosks that don’t exist anymore, and absolute nonsense.
    Feb 6 2026

    Episode 16 sees the lads bravely hand control of the podcast over to the public — with predictably disastrous results. Armed with Facebook questions and zero organisation, GLC tackle life’s big topics: curry orders when someone else is paying, crisps that gave you the shits, shower-time music, shell suits with missing limbs, and why Burberry absolutely hated them.


    🍛 Dream curry orders when Graham’s footing the bill

    🥘 Curry house politics: Mahin Spire vs Handpost Tandoori

    🚌 The true meaning of Kiosk 113 and where the other 112 kiosks went

    🥔 Rare crisps, oven instructions, and instant diarrhoea

    🚿 Shower-time music choices and practicing raps while washing your foul

    🎤 Songs the band love but don’t play live (and why that’s probably for the best)

    🕺 Welcome to Germany and the interpretive dance that cost them most of their audience

    🐶 Dogs vs cats, plus historic anti-cat propaganda in the NME

    🍺 Gigs ruined (or enhanced) by chemical enthusiasm

    🎪 Festival memories involving Red Stripe cans used as microphones

    🏨 A corporate gig, lost hotel rooms, drag queens, and promises that went unfulfilled

    🧥 Billy’s shell suit sleeves and the international sleeve-sharing agreement

    🍻 Who’s worst at drinking beer (and who can sleep holding a pint)

    🥪 The ultimate working men’s club buffet: prawns, mini Kievs, egg sandwiches and beige fear

    🧢 The fate of Fash, balaclavas, and ideas that never quite took off

    🚗 Why the car had to be destroyed and filmed

    🚌 Newport bus routes, pub crawls, and not helping pregnant women

    🛒 The middle aisle of Lidl: trainers, windcheaters, DIY tools and hidden dildos

    💿 Hidden tracks on GLC albums and how CDs used to mess with your head

    🛍️ Cwmbran vs Newport (spoiler: Newport wins, obviously)

    📻 A wholesome shout-out to the band Radioactive

    BECOME A MEMBER OF THE GOLDIE LOOKIN PODCAST ON PATREON




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    32 Min.
  • 365 skid-mark-free days
    Jan 23 2026

    Recorded in what the boys describe as an “executive drinking establishment”, this episode quickly descends into medical horror stories, tour flashbacks, dangerous household items, and the boldest claim ever made on audio: 365 skid-mark-free days.



    What Happens (In No Particular Order)
    • 🥤 Dry January continues (Coca-Cola, pink lemonade, isotonic Lucozade, and lies)
    • 🎧 The new GLC song Dry January and why cheap videos are better
    • 🫀 A near-death New Year’s Eve DJ set involving Sambuca, Spotify, and partial paralysis
    • 🦷 A tooth falls out mid-Greggs wrap and nobody reacts correctly
    • 🔥 A hot water bottle explodes, nearly destroying a full cock-and-ball ecosystem
    • 📢 Public Service Announcement: hot water bottles can kill you
    • 👖 A deeply forensic debate about skid marks, wiping techniques, and toilet paper quality
    • 🚌 Tour flashbacks: cold venues, bad loos, excellent pubs
    • 🧠 Proof that GLC quizzes should never be attempted sober or organised
    • 🏰 Castles played, seas pooed in, pubs visited, and bands mildly insulted
    • 🍺 Jeremy Clarkson’s pub, his pint, and his imagined string-tied torso
    • 🎤 The official launch of the GLC Tour Quiz, featuring no buzzers and total confusion
    • 🎟️ Tour announcement: “Stairway To Newport” (tickets available, and you'd think there would be a link here but there isn't)

    BECOME A MEMBER OF THE GOLDIE LOOKIN PODCAST ON PATREON




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    25 Min.
  • 🍺 Dry Jan (aka Dry Can-uary)
    Jan 11 2026

    It’s Dry January. Sort of. Eggsy’s on a “massive can”, Rhys is insisting he is sober, and Producer Paul is spiritually broken after poisoning himself on New Year’s Eve. Together, Rhys & Eggs kick off what may or may not be the first podcast of 2026 ever made, and immediately derail into cans, colours of alcohol, and why mixing drinks will absolutely ruin your life. What follows is a deep, dangerous dive into old press interviews from 2009, fan Q&As that should never have been answered, and proof that the internet used to just print anything you told it.


    New Single out now


    Key GLC Science Facts
    • People were younger in 2009 than they are now
    • Mixing drink colours is a medical disaster
    • Charity shops peaked in the early 2000s
    • If you can smell your own balls, something has gone wrong
    • Press interviews were better when journalists didn’t fact-check



    What Goes Down
    • 🍺 Dry January chat (aka Can-uary, Dry-Jan-Except-Lager, and “I’ll start on the 13th”)
    • 🎵 Talking the new GLC song Dry Jan — shot on a phone, in a cricket club, featuring Eggsy’s dad
    • 📉 Proof that cheaper videos = better songs
    • 📰 Revisiting a cursed 2009 Female First interview that somehow still exists online
    • 🧥 How to dress like GLC (answer: charity shops, nosy women, skid-marked pants)
    • 🍞 Gourmet recipes including Bread & Salt and eating your own snot
    • 🎬 Who should play GLC in a film (spoiler: Ian Lavender from Dad’s Army)
    • 🚌 Tour memories involving hangovers, northern train stations, frozen feet, and no food
    • 🧠 Admitting that for the first five years of the band, everything said to the press was a lie
    • 🎤 The best and worst things about touring (mostly smells, buses, and balls)
    • 🗑️ Why charity shops are dead and Vinted ruined everything
    • 🎭 David Bowie impressions nobody asked for
    • 🛑 A firm reminder at the end: don’t kill dogs

    BECOME A MEMBER OF THE GOLDIE LOOKIN PODCAST ON PATREON




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    34 Min.
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