Episode 13—My Dark Night of the Soul

In Episode 13 of From the Shadow to the Light, we enter the shadowy terrain of profound loss and unraveling. As my marriage dissolved and my dreams of motherhood slipped away, I found myself descending into a darkness deeper than I had ever known. This episode traces the painful milestones of infertility, emotional disconnection, and the collapse of identity that followed. It’s a raw, honest reflection on what it means to lose everything you thought defined you—and the silent, sacred beginning of transformation that starts when all else falls away.

Show Notes

Episode Title: My Dark Night of the Soul Episode Number: 13

Welcome to Episode 13 of From the Shadow to the Light, where we dive into Chapter 13 of my memoir, Struck by Lightning: My Journey from the Shadow to the Light.

In this episode, I recount the devastating unraveling of my marriage, the heartbreak of infertility, and the painful silence that settled over a hospital room where love felt absent. What began as dreams of family forever shifted into a season of profound emotional and spiritual darkness. From the illusion of permanence to the bitter ache of abandonment, I share the descent into what felt like the end of everything I knew. Through five revealing themes, I trace how this chapter marked the beginning of the end—but also the quiet stirring of something new beneath the truth.

Reflective Questions

Theme 1—The Illusion of Permanence

1. Have you ever found yourself clinging to a moment or a memory, wishing you could freeze time?
2. How did you feel when confronted with the reality that everything changes?
3. What illusions of permanence have you had to confront in your own life? What did these experiences teach you about embracing impermanence?

Theme 2—Confronting Infertility

1. Have you or someone you know faced challenges with infertility? How did it affect personal relationships and self-perception?
2. In facing significant medical challenges, how do you find strength, and what role do support systems play in navigating such deeply personal trials?
3. Have you ever faced a personal challenge that reshaped your dreams? How did you navigate the emotions and decisions of that time?
4. What gives you strength in moments of uncertainty? How important is support from others when facing personal trials?

Theme 3—Hospitalization and Isolation

1. Have you ever received a gesture intended to be kind but felt out of touch with your actual needs?
2. How did this impact your feelings toward the person who offered it?
3. In times of personal crisis, how important is the type of support offered by loved ones? How do their actions influence your emotional well-being?

Theme 4—The Unraveling of a Relationship

1. Think back to a relationship in your life that changed over time. What signs indicated that things were shifting?
2. In times of relational crisis, what strategies have you found most effective for addressing issues with honesty and openness?
3. How important is recognizing when a relationship no longer supports mutual growth

1. Reflect on a time when you felt you were nearing rock bottom. How did you prepare for the challenges ahead?
2. What does it feel like to stand on the precipice of a significant life change, knowing that further challenges await?

Conclusion

As we close Episode 12, “My Dark Night of the Soul,” we’ve walked through the heartache of infertility, the unraveling of a once-promising relationship, and the painful descent into emotional and spiritual isolation. Each theme has revealed how loss and disconnection can strip away not just our dreams but our very sense of self.

This episode illuminated the beginning of a deeper journey—one where the outer world collapses so the inner world can begin to rebuild. Thank you for joining me on today’s podcast of From the Shadow to the Light.

As we prepare for our next episode, “Hitting Rock Bottom,” we’ll explore what it truly means to reach the lowest point—and how the darkness that nearly breaks us can also become the ground on which we rise.

Episode 12—The Honeymoon Phase

In Episode 12 of From the Shadow to the Light, we step into the beauty and complexity of early love. What begins as a dream—my wedding day and honeymoon—soon reveals deeper truths beneath the surface. As reality fails to match expectation, emotional triggers and unresolved archetypes emerge. This episode explores how the desire for a perfect start can clash with inner wounds, highlighting how even the most blissful chapters can contain the seeds of awakening.

Show Notes

Episode Title: The Honeymoon Phase Episode Number: 12

Welcome to Episode 12 of From the Shadow to the Light, where we dive into Chapter 12 of my memoir, Struck by Lightning: My Journey from the Shadow to the Light.

In this episode, I recount the early days of my marriage—joyful on the surface, but quietly revealing old patterns and unspoken resentments underneath. From a missing photographer to a face full of wedding cake, unmet expectations began to chip away at the illusion of perfection. On our honeymoon, moments of serenity were interrupted by sudden fears and internal reflection. Through it all, I began to see how the archetypes of the Invisible Child, the Victim, and the Dry Drunk were shaping my experience—and how solitude and presence could guide me back to truth.

Reflective Questions

Theme 1—The Perfect Start and Unexpected Hiccups

1. Have you ever experienced a moment where everything seemed perfect, but small issues hinted at larger problems?
2. How did you handle it?
3. What did those cracks in perfection reveal about your deeper fears and anxieties?

Theme 2—Unmet Expectations and Growing Resentment

1. How do unmet expectations affect your relationships?
2. What strategies do you use to manage disappointment?
3. Think about a time when someone let you down—did you express how you felt or hold it in?

Theme 3—Archetypes and Self-Reflection

1. Which archetypes show up for you in stressful situations?
2. How do they influence your reactions?
3. Can recognizing these patterns help you move through conflict with more clarity?

Theme 4—Honeymoon Bliss and Moments of Fear

1. Have you experienced fear in a moment that was supposed to be joyful?
2. How do you balance moments of joy with unexpected anxiety?
3. What did you learn from facing fear in a peaceful setting?

1. How do moments of solitude enhance your connection with loved ones?
2. What places or experiences bring you the most peace?
3. Reflect on the importance of finding solitude and connecting with nature in your life.

Conclusion

As we close Episode 12, may this chapter remind you that even in the most blissful moments, our inner landscape is alive with growth, truth, and transformation. The wedding and honeymoon weren’t just a celebration—they were a mirror reflecting my deepest fears, hopes, and patterns.

Thank you for joining me on today's podcast of From the Shadow to the Light. As we prepare for our next episode, “My Dark Night of the Soul,” we explore what happens when the lights go out and you’re left alone with the truth—and the grace that follows.