Most men trying to break free from porn believe their biggest problem is their urges.

But the real issue runs deeper.

It’s their relationship with their mind.

In this episode of the Free From Porn Podcast, Richard Young breaks down the three stages every man goes through in his relationship with his thoughts—and why understanding this changes everything.

In stage one, you believe you are your thoughts. Every urge feels personal. Every intrusive idea feels like it defines you. And because of that, you live in reaction—trapped in cycles of shame, fear, and compulsive behavior.

In stage two, everything begins to shift. You realize you are not your thoughts—you are the observer of them. This is where real transformation begins. Instead of reacting automatically, you learn to let thoughts pass without identifying with them. Urges stop feeling like commands and start becoming opportunities to renew your mind and stand in truth.

Then comes stage three.

The stage where urges no longer control you. The thoughts that once ruled your life become background noise—nothing more than passing signals that no longer carry power. Not because you fought harder, but because you stopped identifying with them altogether.

This episode will help you:

• Understand why you are not your thoughts
• Break the lie that urges define you
• Learn how to take thoughts captive without fear or shame
• See why renewing your mind is the key to lasting freedom
• Discover how men naturally progress to a place where urges lose their grip

Freedom isn’t about eliminating thoughts.

It’s about realizing they were never you to begin with.

When you stop identifying with every urge, you stop being controlled by them.

And that’s when everything changes.

What if you’ve been starting in the wrong place this whole time?

For years, I thought freedom meant climbing. Climbing out of sin. Climbing toward peace. Climbing into God’s approval. But there was one idea that broke everything open for me:

In Christ, you start where He finished.

You don’t begin your spiritual life at the bottom of the mountain trying to reach God.
You begin seated with Christ.

You don’t fight for victory.
You fight from victory.

In this episode, I unpack:

• What it means to start from rest instead of striving
• Why your default setting in Christ is love, joy, and peace
• How life circumstances and old thought patterns trick you into “coming down the mountain”
• Why pornography is a symptom of forgetting you’re already okay
• How Colossians 3 shifts everything about recovery

So many men relapse not because they lack desire for freedom — but because they don’t know they’re already free.

They’re trying to get peace instead of living from peace.

You are not climbing to heaven.
You’ve already been raised with Christ.

The invitation is simple:
Stop leaving the room you’re already in.

Freedom isn’t at the top of the mountain.
It’s your starting point.

Listen in and learn how to live from the finish line.

What if the urges you’re afraid of are actually the key to your freedom?

In this episode of the Free From Porn podcast, Richard Young flips the script on how we think about urges. Instead of fearing them or trying to suppress them, he explains why urges are actually doing important work—revealing the unresolved emotions, beliefs, and wounds we’ve learned to cope with through porn.

You’ll hear why porn isn’t the real problem, how urges point to dysregulated emotions beneath the surface, and why avoiding uncomfortable feelings only keeps you stuck longer. Through real-life stories and practical insight, Richard shows how facing those feelings—rather than escaping them—creates space for healing, release, and lasting freedom.

This conversation goes beyond porn. It applies to anger, shame, fear, impatience, and negative self-beliefs. If you’ve ever felt afraid of your thoughts, emotions, or urges, this episode will help you learn how to process them in the light of truth—and walk in the freedom Jesus has already given you.

Freedom isn’t found in fighting harder. It’s found in learning how to face what’s coming up… and letting it go.