When you are awake in bed and anxious, doing nothing often makes things worse.

Silence gives your mind too much room.

And when your mind has space at night, it fills it with worry.

1. You replay the day.
2. You predict tomorrow.
3. You analyze your sleep.
4. You judge yourself.

This is why a helpful option is doing something pleasant in bed.

Not something stimulating.

Not something stressful.

Just something gently engaging.

1. You might read a familiar book (not a boring one, per se).
2. You might listen to a podcast or audiobook.
3. You might watch or listen to something calm

The goal is not distraction for the sake of escape.

The goal is to make wakefulness less threatening.

When being awake feels miserable, your nervous system stays on high alert.

When being awake feels tolerable, your nervous system begins to soften.

That softening is what matters.

This approach goes against many sleep rules you may have heard.

But rules do not calm anxiety.

Feeling safe does.

And safety is personal.

If screens overstimulate you, avoid them.

If watching something on a TV helps you feel more at ease, allow it.

Anxiety is the real problem here, not light.

As you do your chosen activity, let go of expectations.

You are not doing this to fall asleep.

You are doing this to stop fighting wakefulness.

Ironically, that makes sleep more likely.

Pay gentle attention to your body.

If your eyes grow heavy.

If you start yawning.

If your head begins to nod.

That is a sign of sleepiness.

When that happens, stop the activity.

Close your eyes.

And see if sleep is ready.

If it is not, that is okay.

You can return to the activity.

You can switch to mindfulness.

You can simply rest.

There is no correct sequence.

There is no failure state.

Some nights this will feel easier.

Some nights, your anxiety will still be loud.

That does not mean you are regressing.

Progress through insomnia is not linear.

What matters is how you respond.

Each time you choose kindness over force, you lower the Sleep-Stopping Force.

Over time, your nervous system learns that nighttime is no longer a performance.

It becomes just another part of life.

You may worry that doing activities in bed will reinforce wakefulness.

But the opposite is usually true.

What reinforces insomnia is fear.

What dissolves it is acceptance.

By making peace with being awake, you remove the urgency that keeps sleep away.

You are not training yourself to be awake.

You are training yourself to stop panicking about wakefulness.

And once panic fades, sleep often arrives quietly.

Without effort.

Without strategy.

Just like it used to.

If you're looking to recover from insomnia for good in as little as 8 weeks, schedule a Complimentary Sleep Consult to see if we can help.

To peaceful sleep,

Ivo at End Insomnia

Why should you listen to me?

I recovered from insomnia after 5 brutal years of...

When you are awake at night, and you do not want to be, your instinct is usually to fight it.

You try to sleep harder.

You try to relax.

You try to calm your thoughts.

You try to make the night go differently than it is.

And the more you try, the more alert your body becomes.

That is not because you are doing something wrong.

It is because your nervous system interprets effort as urgency.

Urgency tells the brain there is a threat.

And when your brain senses a threat, sleep is blocked.

So let’s change the goal.

Instead of trying to sleep, the new goal is to find peace while awake.

Not forced peace.

Not fake calm.

Just less resistance to the moment you are in.

This is where mindfulness in bed comes in.

Mindfulness does not mean clearing your mind.

It does not mean feeling relaxed.

And it does not mean making sleep happen.

Mindfulness simply means paying attention to something neutral in the present moment.

When insomnia shows up, your attention usually collapses inward.

1. You monitor your thoughts.
2. You monitor your body.
3. You monitor the night.
4. You monitor the future.

That constant monitoring keeps the nervous system activated.

Mindfulness gives your attention somewhere else to rest.

Not to escape the night.

But to stop feeding anxiety.

One simple way to practice mindfulness in bed is a body scan.

You gently move your attention through your body.

You notice sensations without trying to change them.

You are not trying to relax your body.

You are just noticing what is already there.

You might start with your toes.

Then your feet.

Then your lower legs.

Then your thighs.

Then your pelvis.

Then your torso.

Then your arms.

Then your neck.

Then your face.

Then the top of your head.

You can move slowly.

You can move quickly.

There is no right pace.

If you cannot feel much in a certain area, that is fine.

You just noticed that, too.

If your mind wanders, that's okay.

That is the practice.

Each time you notice your mind drifting and gently bring it back, you are training your nervous system to be less reactive.

This practice does not guarantee sleep.

And that is important.

Mindfulness is not a sleep technique.

It is a tool for nervous system retraining.

When you practice being awake without panicking, your body learns that night is not dangerous.

And when night no longer feels dangerous, sleep becomes possible again.

Even if sleep does not come right away, something else happens.

You suffer less.

You conserve energy.

You stop adding extra distress on top of fatigue.

That matters.

Many people assume that if they are awake, they might as well be miserable.

But resting while awake is very different from struggling while awake.

Normal sleepers rest in bed all the time, even when they're not sleeping.

They daydream.

They drift.

They let their minds wander.

They do not treat wakefulness as a crisis.

Mindfulness helps you relearn that skill.

At first, mindfulness in bed may feel uncomfortable.

Your anxiety around sleeping may still be present.

That does not mean it is failing.

It means your nervous system is learning something new.

Over time, your body begins to associate nighttime with less struggle.

And when struggle fades, sleep follows naturally.

Not...

If you have insomnia, you already know this:

An anxious thought can feel like a threat.

Not just an idea.

A threat.

And when your brain senses a threat, it does what it was designed to do.

It activates.

It mobilizes.

It keeps you awake.

That is why thought-challenging helps sometimes.

But it is also why thought challenging is not enough.

Because there will be nights when the thoughts keep coming.

Even if you challenge them perfectly.

So you need a second skill.

You need a new relationship with your thoughts.

This is what mindful acceptance of thoughts is for.

It is also called defusion.

Defusion means you stop being fused with your thinking.

You stop being inside the thought.

And you become the observer of the thought.

You still have the thought.

But the thought has less power.

Defusion does not erase thoughts.

It removes their authority.

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Defusion becomes easier when you understand two things.

Fact 1: Thoughts are input, not reality.

Fact 2: Thoughts are impermanent.

Let's break them down.

​

Fact 1: Thoughts are input, not reality

Most people treat thoughts like facts.

If the thought says, “This is going to ruin me,” it feels true.

But thoughts are often just mental noise.

They are offerings from the brain.

They are suggestions.

They are predictions.

They are alarms.

Sometimes they are useful.

Sometimes they are wrong.

Sometimes they are old fear patterns firing again.

The key move is realizing you can receive a thought without obeying it.

This matters at night.

Because insomnia thoughts often demand action.

Take something.

Google something.

Change something.

Fix something.

Force something.

Defusion helps you pause before you act.

And that pause is where your freedom returns.

​

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Defusion tool 1: Labeling “thinking”

Here is the simplest defusion tool.

You notice the thought.

And you label it.

You say, “Thinking.”

That's it.

That is the whole technique.

It sounds too simple.

But it is powerful.

Because labeling breaks the trance.

It pulls you out of the story and into awareness.

It reminds you that this is a thought, not a prophecy.

If “thinking” feels unnatural, use another phrase.

“I am having a thought.”

“I am having the thought that I won’t sleep tonight.”

This creates space.

Not by fighting the thought.

But by stepping back from it.

Then you choose what to do next.

You might return attention to your breath.

Or to a sound in the room.

Or to the feeling of your body in the bed.

Or to a calming activity.

The point is not to win an argument.

The point is to stop feeding the thought with panic.

​

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Fact 2: Thoughts are impermanent

Thoughts change constantly.

Even when you are anxious.

Even when the content feels repetitive.

If you watch your mind for five minutes, you will see it.

One thought becomes another.

A memory becomes a plan.

A sensation becomes a story.

A story becomes a fear.

This matters because insomnia thoughts feel permanent.

They feel like they will last forever.

And that feeling creates more fear.

When you remember thoughts are temporary, you stop treating them like forever.

You stop acting as if you must solve them right now.

A thought is like the weather.

It can be intense.

It can be loud.

But it passes.

Sometimes slowly.

Sometimes quickly.

But it passes.

And when