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First Love, Second Live

First Love, Second Live

Von: Jacob Melville
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 Join host Jacob Melville as he delves deep and explores topics ranging from Spirituality, Mental Health, and Healthy Masculinity to Philosophy, Psychology, and the merging of Eastern with Western thinking, always asking the question "How can I live from Love?". By pulling from a broad range of seemingly unrelated fields, we'll uncover new and unique perspectives that you can carry into your everyday life and relationships.Copyright Jacob Melville Hygiene & gesundes Leben Seelische & Geistige Gesundheit
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  • Ep 7. Intergenerational Trauma - From Blame and Shame to Responsibility and Freedom

    Ep 7. Intergenerational Trauma - From Blame and Shame to Responsibility and Freedom
    Mar 2 2022
    Today's episode is about intergenerational trauma as a new concept and framework through which we can gain liberation from old stories and the "stuckness" that can plague so many of us on the path towards wellbeing.

    While we may be very familiar with our own stories and life events, sometimes our own history can only explain so much about how we've become who we are. By broadening our scope to include past generations and their life experiences, we gain a new way of understanding our origins. Because information is passed on to us through genetics, beliefs, home environments, unconscious beliefs and many other subtle forms of influence, our own experience of life is in fact shaped by all generations of our ancestors.

    If our caregivers were never given the tools to deal with things such as anxiety, negative emotions, trauma, disappointment etc, then they would not be equipped to pass those tools onto us. Seeing our lives through this new lens, we are able to gain a freedom from the shame and blame that can keep us stuck in old and unhealthy patterns as we realize that we are not internally flawed or weak, and that we have the power now as conscious adults to give ourselves the tools and freedom and love that we have always sought. There is no roadblock, only an inability to access our power for growth and forgiveness and self acceptance.

    Learning to tell ourselves new, liberating, and empowering stories about who we are, about our own resilience and strength, and about our own commitment to breaking the cycle of intergenerational trauma allows us to begin healing our wounds so as to save future generations from the same pain.

    Fostering self love and nurturing our sense of security and peace is no longer just a selfish act, but one that helps us honour the sacrifices and suffering of our ancestors while simultaneously working to give our own descendants a better life than we have known. Our own healing is now a journey for all of humanity as we work to foster peace in ourselves and shine it back out into the world at large.

    If you enjoyed this episode, please leave a rating and review and share it with a loved one.

    Much love

    IG @jgvmel

    It Didn't Start With You book by Mark Wolynn
    https://amzn.to/3pqGuPB

    Scholarly article on mechanics of intergenerational trauma:
    https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6127768/?source=post_page-----6d300d70f047----------------------
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    1 Std. und 22 Min.
  • Ep 6. Shorts vol. 1 - Ghost in the Machine

    Ep 6. Shorts vol. 1 - Ghost in the Machine
    Jan 26 2022
    Today's episode is the first in a new series called Shorts. These episode will feature a short story written and shared by Jacob that speak about the same themes that are explored on the show - Mental Health, Happiness, Growth, Healing from Trauma, Relationships, Spirituality, and Making Sense of Our Lives.

    These Shorts will be interspersed throughout our regular episodes as a break from long and complex talks to allow room for a slightly different way of exploring these topics. Telling stories is something uniquely human, and we all do it in our own lives to one extent or another. Stories help us make sense of and attribute meaning to the events in our lives in a coherent way so that we can draw connections and live as fully integrated humans. Just as in real life, the meaning that each person finds in a story is unique to them and their own perspective. In this way, hopefully the short stories shared here will provide another lens for you the listener to continue making sense of and drawing meaning from your own experiences and navigating the story of your own life.

    Whether you can relate to the experiences described in the story yourself, or you know someone in your life who can, my hope is that these stories will spark insights and conversations amongst you and those closest to you. No one should suffer alone, no one needs to hide their struggles. Our struggles are what draw us together and allow us to connect, but only when we are able to accept them as our teachers and create space to hear their message and to share that with others. In sharing, our load becomes lighter and our happiness becomes brighter. Namaste
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    38 Min.
  • Ep 5. Progress is Success - Choosing Happiness in Each Moment

    Ep 5. Progress is Success - Choosing Happiness in Each Moment
    Jan 12 2022
    Not only is happiness available to you right now, but you already hold all the keys within you to unlock and release the chains that have been holding you back. As children, each of us learnt and programmed certain attitudes and assumptions about how the world works and who we are. Because these programs were laid down through the eyes of our child self, when left unexamined they can create barriers in our adult lives between us and the love and happiness that we yearn for. Through cultivating a practice of witnessing our inner dialogue and stories from the perspective of loving self compassion, we can enter into a powerful process of reparenting ourselves and stepping into our own Truth and wellbeing. Though far from an easy or quick path, this process can in the long run lead to our finding a much more free, easy going, imperturbable way of being in the world. Once we gain space from our limiting and painful stories, we may find that we are able to step back and simply enjoy with a sense of wonder each new experience that life offers us. Once we cultivate a sense of self love and acceptance, we may find that nothing in life can disturb us or pull us from our equanimity, and that we now have only love and compassion for our fellow humans where before we may have held resentment or bitterness. Once we understand our own suffering and its origins, we may come to realize that every human is dealing with a life just as complex and confusing as ours, and that they deserve only compassion for the journey they are on and the attempts they are making to find their own happiness. Once we realize our own inner light is infinite and sacred, we may find ourselves shining it for the betterment of all so that they too can realize the Truth of their own divinity.

    Works referenced and other resources:

    Dr. K on youtube, talking mental health, spirituality, east meets west, and doing interviews with people to help them understand their origins and how to become free from their limiting stories:
    Interview with Reckful - https://youtu.be/LZVTbFuZrNw

    Channel - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UClHVl2N3jPEbkNJVx-ItQIQ



    TRE - Tension and Trauma Release Exercises for calming the nervous system and recalibrating towards a state of inner calm:
    Summary - https://youtu.be/9Flm8v8IKCg

    Walkthrough - https://youtu.be/FeUioDuJjFI



    Book on ACT Therapy for learning to reframe our stories from helpless to empowering:

    A Liberated Mind: How to Pivot Toward What Matters by Steven C. Hayes PhD
    https://amzn.to/3K4MdmW



    Book on the modern day psychedelic resurgence and their potential for healing mental illness

    How to Change Your Mind: What the New Science of Psychedelics Teaches Us About Consciousness, Dying, Addiction, Depression, and Transcendence by Michael Pollan
    https://amzn.to/3GlX5L5



    For more on Breathwork check out Wim Hoff, or on instagram see
    @owakenbreathwork and @timmorrison_



    For a more comprehensive look at this approach and its applications see
    @the.holistic.psychologist on instagram or read her book:

    How to Do the Work: Recognize Your Patterns, Heal from Your Past, and Create Your Self by Dr. Nicole LePera :
    https://amzn.to/3nlyZZo
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    1 Std. und 49 Min.
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