Once upon a time, in the small farming town of Finley in southern New South Wales, there was a boy who spent his afternoons chasing footies across dusty paddocks and helping his parents on the land. That boy grew up to be one of the greatest AFL forwards the game has ever seen. Today, I chat with three-time premiership player, father of three and Geelong legend, Tom Hawkins. As you’ll hear, for Tom, life was never just about football. It was about family. About home. About the kind of hard work that doesn’t end when the whistle blows. After 17 seasons, in 2024, Tom retired from professional AFL. He traded the stadium lights for sunrises over the paddocks - raising three kids with his wife Emma, catching calves instead of taking marks, and rediscovering what it means to be grounded. These days, he’s building a new chapter with Nutrien Ag Solutions, working closely with farmers across Victoria while running a small cattle property of his own.

In this rare conversation, Tom opens up about it all. The highs and lows of his career, the grief of losing his mum too young, the guilt that comes with missing moments as a dad, and the quiet joy of finding purpose again…this time, on the land.

What does it really mean to do the work before becoming a dad? For today's guest, Queensland farmer Dave Woods, fatherhood wasn’t something he wanted to just stumble into. He wanted to be prepared. So, long before he and his wife Alice welcomed their three children, Dave confronted his own mental health struggles head-on, determined to build the kind of stability he hoped his kids would grow up with. In this conversation, Dave opens up about growing up on his family’s farm, the pressures of succession, and the often-silent battles rural men face. He talks candidly about depression, ego, and the culture of stoicism in the bush - and how alternative approaches gave him the tools to change his life. It’s this work that led him to become a 2025 Nuffield Scholar, focusing his research on why, despite increasing investment, rural Australia’s mental health challenges are not improving. His story is one of courage, challenging the status quo, and what it takes to become the kind of father you always hoped you’d be.

What does it mean to be a good man in the bush? For Matthew Tonkin, the answer has transformed over time. Growing up the youngest of five on his family’s farm near the NSW–Queensland border, Matthew believed a man’s worth was in hard work and providing for his family. But as farm debt and expectations mounted, he equated strength with silence—a silence that led to drinking, despair, and darkness. Seven years sober, Matthew now speaks openly about vulnerability, self-respect, and caring for yourself so you can care for others. As a father of four, grandfather, and leader in agriculture, he’s found a new kind of strength rooted in compassion, discipline, and connection. This episode explores masculinity, resilience, and hope—how one man remade his life, and what his journey reveals about the men raising families and running farms across rural Australia.

• Lifeline: 13 11 14
• Sober in the Country